Insert Clever, Thought Provoking Title With College Picks

I think I've shared that I'm not a big television watcher. If it's not sports or real life mysteries, I generally don't watch. However, there is some show called "Secretly Pregnant" that I happened to catch. It's about peeps who don't want to tell their families they are with child. This one girl/lady/female (I'm not sure of the appropriate reference) was 20 and had a 2 year old child with her boyfriend. They seemed like nice enough young people. However, they broke up and he impregnated another girl. Of course, the natural thing for the mother of his child to do upon hearing this is to suggest they try to have another child. BAM. Peeing on the stick. So, this 20 year old guy was expecting 2 kids within 3 months in addition to his 2 year old. Perhaps he was going to be on the Antonio Cromartie/ Willis McGahee (aka "The Sperminator) plan? They were concerned as to how he was going to pay child support as he was only working part time at the car wash. It was depressing.

Did you hear? There was an election this week. I loved watching the talking heads (not those Talking Heads) just talk. Diane Sawyer may have slipped out to happy hour during the commercial breaks.You never know what is in the coffee mug. For those of you playing along at home (and according to my stats, some of you actually read this blog in the wee hours of the morning. I guess this blog is a natural alternative to Ambien. I love it and am totally flattered), Diane Sawyer is Rachel Nichols of ESPN fame's mother in law.  I bet Diane has Rachel listed as BABYGOTBACK in her phone. They put an extra chair at the table at Thanksgiving for the special guest known as Rachel's bootay! I turned it over to NBC to see Tom Brokaw slurring and drooling. I thought he was channeling Lou Holtz but I wanted to tell him Halloween was o-vah. And I was surprised to see that Sarah Palin looks like she has been spending some time with Snooki and J-Woww. Apparently, orange skin and bouffants are de riguer in the last frontier. Anyway, we still have 4 (sorry Louisville-you are irrelevant) unbeatens.....

Arkansas at South Carolina-Oh how the mighty have fallen. Arkansas squeaked by Tulsa last week and they are basically trying to attract a new coach-preferably one that knows what state the school is in. Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition. South Carolina lost their best player, Marcus Lattimore, in a gruesome incident against the Vols.  However, Darth will out wit crazy John L Smith. Gamecocks.

Texas A&M at Alabama-I could be wrong, but I think Brian Griese just said on ESPN that A&M beats Bama. Wasn't he the guy that passed out in his car? I need to google that. Maybe I'm getting him confused with Chris Simms but regardless, he's wrong. I have spoken. Aggies  have done much better than Auburn and Arkansas their first year in the SEC and trounced Mississippi State last week. Some think Bama looked vulnerable against LSU, but a W is a W, baby. I also had to google A J McCarren's mom as they were discussing her this am. And I found her. Interesting...Tide get the W
 

Oregon at Cal-Ducks versus the Bears. No, this particular battle won't be shown on Nat Geo Wild. I love watching the Ducks play. Their offense quacks me up. Aaron Rodgers' alma mater is bad. Ducks will waddle away with a big win.

Oregon State at Stanford-The great thing about these PAC 10, 12 or 16 games (I'm unsure of the official moniker) is that a score of 45-30 with one minute left means nothing. The game can be 56-56 in under 30 seconds. Gosh, I guess I will take the ultra smarties in this one.

Mizzou at TN-Hey Mizzou! You are in a big boy conference now so celebrate and get some decent uniforms. Call Chip Kelly at Oregon if you want to mix it up a bit. I swear Derek Dooley is going to be in treatment for anorexia before the end of the year. These 2 teams need a W, but the guy in orange near the hound dog needs one more. Big Orange gets a W.

Arizona State at USC-Oh Lane Kiffin. Everyone had such high hopes for the Trojans this year and their QB, Matt Barkley, but their defense has been a bit porous. Like a giant block of swiss cheese with extra holes. However, we can all still hold out hope that USC knocks off the Leprechans next week. This week they have to knock out the Sun Devils. And they will steal their pitchforks. Song girls get a win.

Jim Mora Jr. versus Mike Leach-Is this boxing? Did you know Mike Leach is a close friend of Donald Trump? No word on whether or not they share the same hairdresser. Mora was supposed to bring sexay (this spelling was intentional) back to the Bruins because they've been obsolete for years. Mike Leach was supposed to bring the Washington State offense to life-kind of like GE used to bring good things to life.  Both coaches are annoying, but UCLA gets the win.

UGA vs Auburn-Speaking of bad, Auburn has been a special kind of awful this year racking up 2 victories against New Mexico State and an overtime win against ULM. I bet Gene Chizek thinks they installed seat warmers in his office chair. So this will be a blowout, right? It will probably be a decent game and although dog's are man's best friend, they won't be Auburn's. Dawgs seal the deal. Woof.

I'm all out of clever and thankfully on a halloween candy cleanse. One more kit kat would have made me TLC reality show material. Word up!

****Disclaimer*****

I didn't check a thing in this blog so I'm sure grammatical errors are plentiful like a cornucopia. XO