Ah, if you are a mother you know firsthand the frenetic race each day feels like. Kind of like those timed events at the NFL combine except no signing bonus awaits you. For example, making sure everyone gets fully dressed, brushes teeth, completes homework, has some semblance of combed hair, and is wearing shoes (hopefully matching ones) as they leave for school in the morning feels like an Olympic event minus corrupt judges. Honestly, I don't have time to feel bad. Even if I did, I doubt anyone would acknowledge my discomfort or care. Sure, if I accidentally cut my finger off cutting up an apple, I am sure one of the kids would get the "hello kitty" ice pack for me and offer me a kiss, but would also ask if I could go ahead and make them a pb&j sandwich since I was already in the kitchen. Or perhaps I could turn on iCarly? My husband? He would probably try to have himself admitted to the ICU. So why do women persevere and men turn into giant babies during pain or illness?
I was on a conference call while in labor with my oldest son. When they were performing my c-section with my daughter, the suction stopped working. I didn't mind because I was absolutely parched and couldn't wait to have some water. Right after the surgery, the pump fell out. The nurse was aghast and said , "oh my, the pump is out! you must be in incredible pain." Eh, not really. I asked if there was anyway I could have a grilled cheese sandwich.
Right before I was pregnant with Woo Woo, I had 4 wisdom teeth extracted. 3 were impacted. Apparently this is a big deal." You guys can just give me some laughing gas , right?' I asked the nurse. I was told absolutely no one does that. They required that I discuss my desire for minimal intervention with the dentist. "No one just gets gas,' the dentist said. " I guess I'm special. It will be fine," is what I said. Most people asked to be "put under." No thanks!. I will be "put under" soon enough so I can sweat out a little dental procedure . It's not like I was going in for a crainiotomy! Besides, the gas was cheaper. I was back at work a day later looking like a chipmunk, but no worse for wear. When I was about 7 1/2 months pregnant with Woo Woo, I had nose surgery. Sadly, it wasn't rhinoplasty but it wasn't for a lack of trying. I asked the dermatologist if he could make my nose look like Drew Barrymore's but it was still my nose. I was told not to bend over, sneeze, pick up anything that weighed over 10 pounds, or do housework. I just smiled and put on my World Wildlife Fund band aids on my nose and went back at work. For future reference, people have a tendency not to take you seriously when you have panda bears on your nose. However, it's okay when wearing earth tones to coordinate that with a nice leopard band aid on your nose. Now don't get me wrong, I am not superwoman or anything of the sort. I am a mother. We just have to keep plugging along.Women have been giving birth in fields for hundreds of years with no break other than to wipe her other child's nose.
My husband? He had a stomach virus, threw up 3 times, and asked if he should go to the hospital and get an IV. What???? A splinter is the equivalent of a fracture and the flu is treated like the ebola virus. A paper cut? It's one step away from amputation. I always tell him if he had been able to give birth, he would STILL be in the hospital recovering from our oldest...and that was 8 years ago. My daughter must be taking cues from him because she goes to the school nurse at least 3 times a week. If she tells them she has a sore throat or a tummy ache, she gets a Popsicle. Apparently she was unimpressed with the flavor she got the other day, because that notation was on the clinic pass. The nurse told me at the parent teacher conference that she loves her visits from Fiona. As I said in an earlier post, the kids have taken elementary school by storm.
I joke about this but at the end of the day, your health is incredibly important. Our time is short enough on the planet, so we should enjoy each day and roll with the cards we are dealt. Until next time.............
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
When you go zone versus man to man
About 2 years ago, life was swimming along with my husband, almost 6 year old son, and 4 year old daughter. But I began to think I wanted one more baby. Would I regret not having one more? Was I too old? Both of the kids were potty trained and not actively plotting against me to the best of my knowledge. My son had some health challenges and my daughter was a handful, but was that it? You hear these stories of people being pregnant past 35, aka "advanced maternal age" and being soooooo old they couldn't possibly have the energy to take care of an infant. "Have them while you are young" ( See my earlier blog about our inability as a culture to understand being older than 30 doesn't make you a senior citizen.) Horse caca! The Jamie Lynn Spears route wasn't for me, so alas I was delighted to learn I was pregnant with my lambchop.
The pregnancy was a breeze except for the fact that I looked like I was carrying the planet Jupiter in my stomach. I had my 3rd c-section and it was easy. However, on day 2 I felt a bit nauseated and you can't throw up after a c-section. I alerted the nurse who clearly was a sadist because she offered up a combo of prune juice and milk of magnesia. What had I done to her? After refusing that delightful elixir I made a mental note not to ask her for anything. Besides that lone incident associated with post delivery, Lambchop has been an absolute cupcake. Funny, loveable, and basically perfect. But reality set in and it certainly is different having 2 versus 3.
Hello!!!! That is an extra person to get dressed, fed, and in the car. That is an extra set of hands to wash, an extra nose to wipe, and an extra person to try to persuade to listen to the Mominator. And the astronomical cost of daycare. However, we all love our Woo (that's what the older kids call him). He gives us something new to talk about, not that there was a lack of conversation with 2 kids. For example, last night my daughter was asking how old Woo was in dog years.She said, "Doesn't Woo look kind of like a chihuahua?" No, but I must encourage her imagination. There is a new person to blame for accidents. Who wrote on the wall? "Woo did that," said my son. Really? A.) He doesn't have access to a crayon and B) he would have to stand on a pogo stick to reach that part of the wall. After a parent teacher conference last Friday (we took elementary school by storm), I came home to see an exasperated sitter chasing after Woo, who was naked, laughing, and carrying a mop. The sitter had tried unsuccessfully to change Woo's diaper. Oops-nay! I neglected to tell her you have to tackle him to change his diaper.
It is crazy at our house. Kids on plasma cars wearing Spiderman masks, dogs wearing mardi gras beads and Cinderella stickers, and a cat who loves to leap out of the closet and attack your feet. Of course the floor gets sticky, hand prints are peppered around the house, and you never know what you might find stuck between the cushions on the couch. Last night, I was almost impaled by a spatula, because you know the spatula belongs between the couch cushions. You never know when someone might need to whip up some pancakes on the couch. But the laughter from those 3 beautiful children and the sloppy kisses make it all worth while. They are only kids once. The anticipation they have for going on an egg hunt or watching a train speed by is magical. I wish I could freeze those moments. They are priceless.
Until next time....
The pregnancy was a breeze except for the fact that I looked like I was carrying the planet Jupiter in my stomach. I had my 3rd c-section and it was easy. However, on day 2 I felt a bit nauseated and you can't throw up after a c-section. I alerted the nurse who clearly was a sadist because she offered up a combo of prune juice and milk of magnesia. What had I done to her? After refusing that delightful elixir I made a mental note not to ask her for anything. Besides that lone incident associated with post delivery, Lambchop has been an absolute cupcake. Funny, loveable, and basically perfect. But reality set in and it certainly is different having 2 versus 3.
Hello!!!! That is an extra person to get dressed, fed, and in the car. That is an extra set of hands to wash, an extra nose to wipe, and an extra person to try to persuade to listen to the Mominator. And the astronomical cost of daycare. However, we all love our Woo (that's what the older kids call him). He gives us something new to talk about, not that there was a lack of conversation with 2 kids. For example, last night my daughter was asking how old Woo was in dog years.She said, "Doesn't Woo look kind of like a chihuahua?" No, but I must encourage her imagination. There is a new person to blame for accidents. Who wrote on the wall? "Woo did that," said my son. Really? A.) He doesn't have access to a crayon and B) he would have to stand on a pogo stick to reach that part of the wall. After a parent teacher conference last Friday (we took elementary school by storm), I came home to see an exasperated sitter chasing after Woo, who was naked, laughing, and carrying a mop. The sitter had tried unsuccessfully to change Woo's diaper. Oops-nay! I neglected to tell her you have to tackle him to change his diaper.
It is crazy at our house. Kids on plasma cars wearing Spiderman masks, dogs wearing mardi gras beads and Cinderella stickers, and a cat who loves to leap out of the closet and attack your feet. Of course the floor gets sticky, hand prints are peppered around the house, and you never know what you might find stuck between the cushions on the couch. Last night, I was almost impaled by a spatula, because you know the spatula belongs between the couch cushions. You never know when someone might need to whip up some pancakes on the couch. But the laughter from those 3 beautiful children and the sloppy kisses make it all worth while. They are only kids once. The anticipation they have for going on an egg hunt or watching a train speed by is magical. I wish I could freeze those moments. They are priceless.
Until next time....
25 Things About Me
Apparently this is a rite of passage in the blogging world. Let me see if I can whip up 25 interesting factoids about me as today's blog entry mysteriously vanished, kind of like Lindsay Lohan's career when I hit preview. This might be fun....
1). My first name means "Earth" and my middle name means "water" but my parents are far from hippies
2.) I don't know how to ride a bike
3.) I secretly would love to be a show host on HSN or QVC. Well, I just said it so it's not a secret anymore.
4.) I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat the waitstaff and animals.
5.) I am very serious about my teeth.
6.) My favorite scents are coconut, the ocean, ginger, and fresh cut grass. But not necessarily all together.
7.)When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was concerned that her due date might somehow impact my ability to see UGA play for a National Championship in football. My daughter is 6 so I am sure we can all agree that was an unnecessary concern.
8.) I love a bargain
9.) I find it is difficult to watch my kids grow up. I love watching them morph into unique individuals, but the time seems to fly.
10.) I am incredibly superstitious and have this thing about numbers.
11.) I can imitate just about anyone. Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
12.) Nothing compares to laughing so hard you cry.
13.) Red bean ice cream rules
14.) Every year I get so psyched up about the NFL draft. Not sure why because I won't be getting the signing bonus!
15.) Karma. I am a big believer. It doesn't always seem like it occurs, but things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to be.....much to my chagrin!
16.) The first initials of my 3 kids' names in birth order spell NFL. I didn't realize that until after my son (Lambchop-not his real name) was born, but it should count for something. ESPN-give me a call:)
17.) Just looking at those rides at amusement parks makes me want to hurl. However, I will ride them.
18.) My daughter is absolutely hilarious. She is so animated that I can't help but laugh.
19.) My vanity license plate would say "Low maintenance". Really. Well. it would be tough to get that on a single plate but it certainly wouldn't say "easy".
20.) Nothing compares to being a mother. It is demanding but worth it.
21.) I have done some incredibly stupid things....things that make me cringe. Things that make others cringe too. But I remember them so I don't repeat the mistakes.
22.) To each his own, but I don't understand getting tattoos on your face.
23.) I love infomercial products and so do my kids. Is that genetic?
24.) Leaving toothpaste in the sink has probably broken up many marriages. Wash it away.
25.) Why does my husband leave 1 triscuit in the box? Do you feel guilty for eating the last one? Isn't the triscuit lonely? Eat the last one or throw the box away.
Okay this was cheating as it isn't a real entry, but I have to rewrite the fantabulous story that disappeared.
.
1). My first name means "Earth" and my middle name means "water" but my parents are far from hippies
2.) I don't know how to ride a bike
3.) I secretly would love to be a show host on HSN or QVC. Well, I just said it so it's not a secret anymore.
4.) I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat the waitstaff and animals.
5.) I am very serious about my teeth.
6.) My favorite scents are coconut, the ocean, ginger, and fresh cut grass. But not necessarily all together.
7.)When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was concerned that her due date might somehow impact my ability to see UGA play for a National Championship in football. My daughter is 6 so I am sure we can all agree that was an unnecessary concern.
8.) I love a bargain
9.) I find it is difficult to watch my kids grow up. I love watching them morph into unique individuals, but the time seems to fly.
10.) I am incredibly superstitious and have this thing about numbers.
11.) I can imitate just about anyone. Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
12.) Nothing compares to laughing so hard you cry.
13.) Red bean ice cream rules
14.) Every year I get so psyched up about the NFL draft. Not sure why because I won't be getting the signing bonus!
15.) Karma. I am a big believer. It doesn't always seem like it occurs, but things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to be.....much to my chagrin!
16.) The first initials of my 3 kids' names in birth order spell NFL. I didn't realize that until after my son (Lambchop-not his real name) was born, but it should count for something. ESPN-give me a call:)
17.) Just looking at those rides at amusement parks makes me want to hurl. However, I will ride them.
18.) My daughter is absolutely hilarious. She is so animated that I can't help but laugh.
19.) My vanity license plate would say "Low maintenance". Really. Well. it would be tough to get that on a single plate but it certainly wouldn't say "easy".
20.) Nothing compares to being a mother. It is demanding but worth it.
21.) I have done some incredibly stupid things....things that make me cringe. Things that make others cringe too. But I remember them so I don't repeat the mistakes.
22.) To each his own, but I don't understand getting tattoos on your face.
23.) I love infomercial products and so do my kids. Is that genetic?
24.) Leaving toothpaste in the sink has probably broken up many marriages. Wash it away.
25.) Why does my husband leave 1 triscuit in the box? Do you feel guilty for eating the last one? Isn't the triscuit lonely? Eat the last one or throw the box away.
Okay this was cheating as it isn't a real entry, but I have to rewrite the fantabulous story that disappeared.
.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Old versus Really Old...or maybe Prehistoric
Our culture has such an interesting view on aging. Once you hit 30 you are a relic, which is interesting since the life expectancy is increasing. For example, my mom started talking about how "old" she was when she was 38. 30 years later at 68, she says she is really old. So, if she lives to 98 does that equate to ancient? What about living to 100? In retrospect, Methuselah was a mere toddler at age 100. If you start being "old" at 30, then that essentially means your are old the vast majority of your life. Who makes up this asinine rules? And why do we think certain characteristics make you look "young?'
For example, if plastic surgery makes you feel good, then by all means have at it. Many celebrities and regular peeps take the approach of believing that fabricating a good story makes it a reality. Yawn. When someone says, "Wow. Your boobs look bigger." One shouldn't say, "Yeah I woke up one day and they were like this." What they neglected to say is that they woke up from the anesthesia and voila-boobage. Or "your face looks younger." "Oh I took a nap and had some green tea." Sure you did...right after the juvederm and botox injections. Listen, if someone ever says to me, "Your nose looks different" you can bet your last dollar I will say, "I finally found a doctor who made me not look like an eagle." Eagles are lovely animals but I don't have feathers. And I would prefer Drew Barrymore's nose.
What is up with our obsession with having giant lips and bad spray tans? Does being day-glo orange make one look young or more like a bottle of Tang? And the people who pump their lips up to take up 2/3rds of their face. I mean, some people actually inject car filler in their lips. Can Valvoline make you look younger? Can't I just color myself with an orange sharpie, insert 2 soccer balls under my shirt, and punch myself in the mouth for the same, albeit cheaper effect?
For the record, I would love to have a few things, ahem, corrected. But I would be honored to tell everyone I paid for and got good work. Mmmmmm.....maybe one day. Or perhaps I will just roll the dice with mother nature and continue to cover myself in SPF 80.
Until next time.....................:)
For example, if plastic surgery makes you feel good, then by all means have at it. Many celebrities and regular peeps take the approach of believing that fabricating a good story makes it a reality. Yawn. When someone says, "Wow. Your boobs look bigger." One shouldn't say, "Yeah I woke up one day and they were like this." What they neglected to say is that they woke up from the anesthesia and voila-boobage. Or "your face looks younger." "Oh I took a nap and had some green tea." Sure you did...right after the juvederm and botox injections. Listen, if someone ever says to me, "Your nose looks different" you can bet your last dollar I will say, "I finally found a doctor who made me not look like an eagle." Eagles are lovely animals but I don't have feathers. And I would prefer Drew Barrymore's nose.
What is up with our obsession with having giant lips and bad spray tans? Does being day-glo orange make one look young or more like a bottle of Tang? And the people who pump their lips up to take up 2/3rds of their face. I mean, some people actually inject car filler in their lips. Can Valvoline make you look younger? Can't I just color myself with an orange sharpie, insert 2 soccer balls under my shirt, and punch myself in the mouth for the same, albeit cheaper effect?
For the record, I would love to have a few things, ahem, corrected. But I would be honored to tell everyone I paid for and got good work. Mmmmmm.....maybe one day. Or perhaps I will just roll the dice with mother nature and continue to cover myself in SPF 80.
Until next time.....................:)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
What are we really saying?
There are many lists floating around with annoying corporate "buzzwords" and phrases used in every day life to make a point. I am guilty of using some of these as well, but what exactly are we trying to say?
Drill down-This is appropriate if you are at a Bob the Builder or Handy Manny conference. I would expect this to come up at a business dinner with Flicker, Squeeze, Rusty and Dusty but I have not been privvy to one of those shindigs. However, it's best to avoid this one as power tool speak isn't always best. Gosh, I don't even know how to use a drill.
Get our ducks in a row- Where are my ducks? I have never seen them. Perhaps they are playing with the chickens that we count before they hatch. This is a phrase that is not all it is quacked up to be.
Think outside the box-Huh? Do we all live in a box that is invisible to the human eye? How many square feet do we each have in our box? Can I have mine decorated by Nate Berkus? I want bamboo floors. Maybe mine could have one of those single person spas and a margarita maker they give away on "The Price is Right".
Let's Cross that bridge when we get there- I am guilty as charged in overusing this phrase. How do I know? My 6 year old daughter said yesterday, "We will cross this bridge when we get there. Actually, I think we crossed that bridge and I guess we will see when we get to the next bridge." What??? I am teaching the kids utter confusion. Note to self-stop saying this. This could be an appropriate term in Italy, but here in the landlocked ATL, it loses some luster.
Money Doesn't Grow on Trees-Sadly, I think we know this by now. I mean, if it was true, then deforestation wouldn't be an issue would it?
We Are All Guilty of it - Speak for yourself! Maybe it was Professor Plumb with the candlestick in the library? Or maybe it was Ms. Scarlett with the rope in the parlor? I always loved Ms. Scarlett when I was a kid. She was so exotic and looked so groovy on her chaise.
It is what it is- Exactly. So why do we feel the need to reiterate the obvious?
Blue sky thinking- What? Is that different than gray sky, massive thunderstorm with hail thinking? Is there such thing as tornado thinking?
It's Not Fair - Another phrase used frequently used by my kids. My response? "You are right. It's not. Get over it!"
Until next time.....peace.
Drill down-This is appropriate if you are at a Bob the Builder or Handy Manny conference. I would expect this to come up at a business dinner with Flicker, Squeeze, Rusty and Dusty but I have not been privvy to one of those shindigs. However, it's best to avoid this one as power tool speak isn't always best. Gosh, I don't even know how to use a drill.
Get our ducks in a row- Where are my ducks? I have never seen them. Perhaps they are playing with the chickens that we count before they hatch. This is a phrase that is not all it is quacked up to be.
Think outside the box-Huh? Do we all live in a box that is invisible to the human eye? How many square feet do we each have in our box? Can I have mine decorated by Nate Berkus? I want bamboo floors. Maybe mine could have one of those single person spas and a margarita maker they give away on "The Price is Right".
Let's Cross that bridge when we get there- I am guilty as charged in overusing this phrase. How do I know? My 6 year old daughter said yesterday, "We will cross this bridge when we get there. Actually, I think we crossed that bridge and I guess we will see when we get to the next bridge." What??? I am teaching the kids utter confusion. Note to self-stop saying this. This could be an appropriate term in Italy, but here in the landlocked ATL, it loses some luster.
Money Doesn't Grow on Trees-Sadly, I think we know this by now. I mean, if it was true, then deforestation wouldn't be an issue would it?
We Are All Guilty of it - Speak for yourself! Maybe it was Professor Plumb with the candlestick in the library? Or maybe it was Ms. Scarlett with the rope in the parlor? I always loved Ms. Scarlett when I was a kid. She was so exotic and looked so groovy on her chaise.
It is what it is- Exactly. So why do we feel the need to reiterate the obvious?
Blue sky thinking- What? Is that different than gray sky, massive thunderstorm with hail thinking? Is there such thing as tornado thinking?
It's Not Fair - Another phrase used frequently used by my kids. My response? "You are right. It's not. Get over it!"
Until next time.....peace.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Celebrity Pregnancies versus Regular People Pregnancies
Have you noticed the recent surge of Hollywood pregnancies? It seems that every day brings a new starlet announcing that she is "over the moon' with her news of an expanding belly. The difference is that celebrities aren't "regular" peeps. For example, let's say Sadie Celeb tells us post birth that she was back in her size 24 Joe's jeans a mere 6 weeks post delivery because she breastfed and the weight "fell off". She ate a box of Krispy Kremes every day and an entire pizza with extra pepperoni while pregnant, but miraculously, the weight just melted away after she started nursing little Zozo. To which I promptly say, horse caca! What Sadie neglected to say is that she has 3 nannies, a night nurse, a trainer, a chef, a stylist, an acupuncturist, and a personal assistant to hold her coffee mug so she can prepare to pose for Hot Mom magazine.
Which brings me to my first pregnancy. My little cupcake was due in April but I started retaining fluid quickly. By Halloween, I could have put a hula hoop around my tummy and made a great Saturn when greeting trick or treaters. By Thanksgiving, when sitting between the cranberry sauce and stuffing, I was practically interchangeable with the butterball. And by December, Santa had nothing on me except a long white beard. People would see me and say "Christmas baby eh?" To which I would give a wan smile. Why were strangers touching my belly? Did they think if they rubbed it and made a wish it would come true? By February the common comment was "God, you are HUGE!" Really? I hadn't noticed as I had to unwedge myself from behind the steering wheel and my socks were cutting off my blood circulation. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. I also noticed many pregnancy shirts were purple. Why so? Is it so that you can look more like Grimace if you happen to run into Hamburglar? Oh and I craved crushed ice. Can crushed ice turn you into a beluga whale? Apparently so.
So the next time you see a pregnant lady, don't tell her she looks like a behemoth. And remember when you see Sally Celebutante strutting around in stilettos and skinny jeans, there is some help behind the scenes. Until next time.....Peace.
Which brings me to my first pregnancy. My little cupcake was due in April but I started retaining fluid quickly. By Halloween, I could have put a hula hoop around my tummy and made a great Saturn when greeting trick or treaters. By Thanksgiving, when sitting between the cranberry sauce and stuffing, I was practically interchangeable with the butterball. And by December, Santa had nothing on me except a long white beard. People would see me and say "Christmas baby eh?" To which I would give a wan smile. Why were strangers touching my belly? Did they think if they rubbed it and made a wish it would come true? By February the common comment was "God, you are HUGE!" Really? I hadn't noticed as I had to unwedge myself from behind the steering wheel and my socks were cutting off my blood circulation. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. I also noticed many pregnancy shirts were purple. Why so? Is it so that you can look more like Grimace if you happen to run into Hamburglar? Oh and I craved crushed ice. Can crushed ice turn you into a beluga whale? Apparently so.
So the next time you see a pregnant lady, don't tell her she looks like a behemoth. And remember when you see Sally Celebutante strutting around in stilettos and skinny jeans, there is some help behind the scenes. Until next time.....Peace.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Teenagers and what does the tooth fairy really look like?
We have a sitter that helps with the older two goblins after school. Lyds is a senior in high school, cute, and excellent with the kids. Pets are family members in our house but we have been preparing for the inevitable with our little dog. Yesterday she said, "Um, yeah (pointing at DJ Jazzy the 16 year old dog). So, I know she is really old, but what happens if she dies when I am here? What should I do?" I wasn't expecting that question. Should I tell her to put a blanket over her until I get home? Ignore it? "Let me think on that was my response."We shifted gears to the conversation of Fall Out Boy. She was shocked I knew who they were. Hello! It's not like I was born during the formation of the pyramids. I asked what went wrong with Pete and Ashlee? She had a perplexed look on her face. I told her maybe they didn't have double vanities and Pete kept using Ashlee's eyeliner without permission. Maybe he kept leaving his socks on the floor. Or perhaps Ash asked "does this make me look fat?' and he just grunted at her. It's hard to say.
Which brings me to the fact that I am so happy not to be a teenager. I frequently joke that I would like to forget most of my life between the ages of 12 and 30, but there is much truth to that statement. With facebook and twitter, the teens now just put everything out for everyone to see. You know, like when they discovered how Bryson totally wronged them and started texting Madison. I particularly like how they keep track of their relationship status. Angry at Chase =single. Happy with Chase=in a relationship.
Finally, I was talking to my 6 year old daughter. She told me she saw the tooth fairy but was quick to clarify the tooth fairy did not look like the Rock. She said she has long red hair, big blue eyes and is about half an inch tall. Sounded like Ariel with wings to me, but she then stated she was very fit. Is the tooth fairy a devotee of Zumba? Maybe she wears spanx? I mean she probably has to maintain a certain level of fitness to wiggle under the pillow and drop off the cash. Could she rock the Insanity fitness regime? I've heard people say that is incredibly difficult and the warm up made them hurl. Maybe it's just me, but any work out that causes the regurgitation of bodily fluids doesn't sound like a good time.
On a parting note, yes I was doing the "chickening out" dance from Scooby Doo for the baby last night. The 70s certainly gave us many good things. Saturday Night Fever, Captain and Tenille, Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific shampoo, Loves Baby Soft perfume, Bonne Bell lip gloss, Little House on the Prairie, and those Robby Benson movies. Remember Ice Castles? Peace out for now.
Which brings me to the fact that I am so happy not to be a teenager. I frequently joke that I would like to forget most of my life between the ages of 12 and 30, but there is much truth to that statement. With facebook and twitter, the teens now just put everything out for everyone to see. You know, like when they discovered how Bryson totally wronged them and started texting Madison. I particularly like how they keep track of their relationship status. Angry at Chase =single. Happy with Chase=in a relationship.
Finally, I was talking to my 6 year old daughter. She told me she saw the tooth fairy but was quick to clarify the tooth fairy did not look like the Rock. She said she has long red hair, big blue eyes and is about half an inch tall. Sounded like Ariel with wings to me, but she then stated she was very fit. Is the tooth fairy a devotee of Zumba? Maybe she wears spanx? I mean she probably has to maintain a certain level of fitness to wiggle under the pillow and drop off the cash. Could she rock the Insanity fitness regime? I've heard people say that is incredibly difficult and the warm up made them hurl. Maybe it's just me, but any work out that causes the regurgitation of bodily fluids doesn't sound like a good time.
On a parting note, yes I was doing the "chickening out" dance from Scooby Doo for the baby last night. The 70s certainly gave us many good things. Saturday Night Fever, Captain and Tenille, Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific shampoo, Loves Baby Soft perfume, Bonne Bell lip gloss, Little House on the Prairie, and those Robby Benson movies. Remember Ice Castles? Peace out for now.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Let's Get it Started
Every sentence can be turned into a song. Right now, "I Want Candy" but don't want to be a "Fat Bottomed Girl." People say there are 2 certainties in life-death and taxes. Actually, there are 3.You can bet the farm (if you have one) that when you get in the car and turn on the radio, you can always find a station playing Boston.
Other almost certainties in life. You will spill salsa when you wear white. The sock goblin did eat the other sock in the dryer. So the sock is left thinking "One IS the loneliest number." The kids will throw up in the car right after you cleaned the inside. Oh, and you just used the last wipe to clean up a spill. Bummer. A traffic jam when you are already late. Isn't that ironic? (Who knew what the future held when she was on "You Can't Do That on Television". When he says "it's not you, it's me." It is you and he is interested in someone else. Yes. "Love Hurts." And your child will tell you the truth about your appearance-it's better not to ask. Unless you are ready to hear " why do you look like a raccoon mommy?' Because I haven't slept in 8 years lambchop.
That's all for now.
Other almost certainties in life. You will spill salsa when you wear white. The sock goblin did eat the other sock in the dryer. So the sock is left thinking "One IS the loneliest number." The kids will throw up in the car right after you cleaned the inside. Oh, and you just used the last wipe to clean up a spill. Bummer. A traffic jam when you are already late. Isn't that ironic? (Who knew what the future held when she was on "You Can't Do That on Television". When he says "it's not you, it's me." It is you and he is interested in someone else. Yes. "Love Hurts." And your child will tell you the truth about your appearance-it's better not to ask. Unless you are ready to hear " why do you look like a raccoon mommy?' Because I haven't slept in 8 years lambchop.
That's all for now.
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