Is it really almost 2013????

 What's up peeps? Just like my bowl picks, the Mayans got it wrong. Still here and watching Sunday Night Football with my wacky husband.  I had to take a reprieve from blogging for a while even though I freaking love to write and could write every day several times a day. If you know me, you know I try not to complain but as we come to the end of 2012 and perhaps it's  all this hoopla about the "fiscal cliff" (I do like me a cliff bar but alas this just isn't the same!), I realized something a few weeks ago. I do occasionally have moments of clarity along with spirited discussions with my husband regarding our world in general.  I am so OVER people who talk incessantly about themselves and somehow try to trace anything and everything that happens in the world back to their life. I don't mean people who can relate to something that happened. I mean those folks who actually think the entire world and everyone's life revolves around them. Harsh of me to say. I know, I know. It sounds like I am talking about myself, but it is my blog. As a result of being at my capacity for self absorption (is that a word? maybe I need to crack out my sham wow products to make a point...) I have tried not to read many posts and had major filters on my viewing. Stepping off soap box and singing One Direction, thank you. Sashay!

We live in a very divided country. It sounds like I am traveling down a political path but that's not where I am going. I think it is fantastic that many people are so passionate about their beliefs ranging from husbands to the federal deficit. I get it-I do.  But I get a little nervous when people are more concerned that they are going to lose their assault rifle than making a living.  Granted, I get nervous at the sight of a plastic steak knife, but I am all for one's right to bear arms. But I am over the "me, me, me!" Now, we all have to be self centered to a certain degree for survival. However, every event and every conversation in the universe is not about you.....or ME.

If there is one thing I desperately try to instill in my kids, is that we don't judge a book by its cover. Which is good, because there are copies US Weekly and Allure so it's important for the kids to realize we just can't photoshop 5 inches on our legs in real life. Anyway, shortly after college, I moved in with a friend of mine to an interesting area. As a matter of fact, the apartment complex we lived in was referred to as being home of the "nightly knifings." I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do or be and was working at a saloon. Hilarious because I do not listen to country music. I remember this story like it was yesterday, except it wasn't. It was a long, long time ago (bye bye Miss American Pie who should not be confused with Warrant's Cherry Pie"). Anyway,  I had a table one night that made me roll my eyes which is completely juvenile (and sadly I occasionally still do it) . It was a table of 12 and they all ordered cokes, sweet teas, and 2 bowls of chili and a salad with Thousand Island dressing. That's it.  Stereotypes are terrible but they do exist (I can go on and on about the restaurant industry but I won't), and this order would generally be categorized under the "tipping in the toilet category." They were very nice and their bill was only around $40 dollars. On the way out the door, one of the gentleman thanked me for being nice and handed back the folder and told me to keep it all. I said thanks and once he left, I opened up the pad to see 2 $100 bills inside. So, that would be around a $160 tip on a $40 bill. Didn't I fell like a complete ass hat for automatically assuming someone was a certain way by the way they ordered??? Shame on me. I would love to tell you I have never had thoughts pop up about someone upon my initial meeting but that would be a complete lie. Have you done that before?  You know you have....

So as we say goodbye to 2012, I hope we embrace 2013 with enthusiasm and excitement. Gosh, some people just rolled their eyes at moi! Nothing is ever perfect (wouldn't that be fabulous if it was except we all have a different idea of perfect?) but we can try to make it better. Seriously, I had no idea that red velvet cake could be better than my mother's but I found one that was.  We can't control others, but we can control how they make us react (yes, I am reminding myself of this). I'm over the gloom and doomers. You've got one life so live it. I just feel like this entire post could be a series of t-shirts and bumper stickers.

XO

Some Bowl Picks and How Old Am I?

There is some discrepancy as to how old I am. So just like Blink 182, when December rolls around I ask "What's My Age Again?' The federal government thinks I am one age and I have other documentation saying I am another.  My mother likes to make me whatever age she feels. For example, she will greet me on the phone with "I was reading the obituary yesterday (how uplifting!) and did you know Lolly Lafsbarger? I thought you went to school with her. She was 62." What?????? I didn't spend 20 years in the first grade so no, didn't go to school with her. So, I just get to pick the age I want to be. This is one of the bonus qualities of growing up in South GA. Mass confusion and not just about what some people are saying. Does Mr. Webster have a southern dictionary because I can probably contribute some words and definitions?

According to my stats I have some new followers in Vietnam. Either that or someone is trying to steal my identity, but trust me, pick someone with more charm and charisma than yours truly. However, I would love to be on some type of naming committee for Pho restaurants. I used to pass one at my old company called "What the Pho?" which always made me laugh. I also like "Pho You", " Mo Phos", and  "Pho Get About It." Sigh...

Okay, so there are around 12 or so teams with losing records that were invited to said bowls. For these first bowls, I am not even going to check each team's record. It doesn't matter. Looks like there are some new sponsors. Where is the Self Watering Pet Dish Bowl? Without any research, here  are the picks for the first bowl games.....

Gildan New Mexico Bowl-Arizona vs Nevada  What the pho is Gildan? Let me google..http://gildanonline.com/store/  Now, perhaps everyone knew Gildan was apparel but remember I am a recluse so I rely on google to help a girl out. Gildan claims to have some super comfortable underwear so perhaps the players get a supply in their gift bag. Maybe they can tweet about it after the game and tell us. Chafe free! Gosh...I know nothing about either team except that UGA snagged their hoops coach from Nevada. Maybe he should move back? Nevada? Confidence-Lower than Mary Kate Olsen's weight

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl-Toledo vs Utah State. Seriously. Because there is nothing worse than a bowl sponsored by some washed up, has been potatoes. These folks have done it up right and gotten the famous potatoes to sponsor this shizzle.  Would the famous potato bowl have Mario Lopez at half time with the non famous potato bowl having Screech? I'll say Toledo. Confidence- Low mo pho.

San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl-BYU vs San Diego State  Ah, the credit union combo poinsettia bowl. I would have preferred the Title Maxx Ficus Tree bowl but I don't get to make those decisions. SDS? See above confidence level.

Beef O'Bradys Bowl-Ball State vs UCF-At least the bowl is in St. Petersburg (thankfully not Russia cause it's blustery this time of year) What is Beef o'Bradys? Let me check...Not impressive but they serve limeade, so that is a point of redemption. UCF?

R& L Carriers New Orleans Bowl-East Carolina vs UL Lafayette. I had no idea R&L carriers is based in Ohio. This will come in handy should I ever be able to bamboozle my way on to Jeopardy. I'm going to assume people will be there for the Hurricanes and the purple drank and not the football. UL Lafayette

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl Boise State Versus Washington-So I wonder if MAACO paints the blue turf for Boise State? Will Elvis perform at half time? I like Las Vegas for about 72 hours...Boise State.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl-Fresno State at SMU- Mahalo!. So June Jones gets to leave Dallas and come back to Hawaii where he coached for several years. I say enjoy the vacay because this bowl sounds as exciting as plain yogurt. Fresno State.

Little Caesers Bowl-Central Michigan vs Western KY. Not really a fan of Little Caesers as I would  prefer a Mellow Mushroom Bowl. Detroit is lovely in December. Bobby Petrino is the new coach for Western KY and he said his affair brought him closer to his wife. I see he's been chatting with Lindsay Lohan's publicist. Western KY

Military Bowl-I love the movie "A Few Good Men" so does that count for something? Bowling Green vs San Jose State, huh? Wow. Sounds riveting. Skip the bowl and see the sights in DC. BG? There is only one Bee Gee left. He's stayin alive.

Belk Bowl-Nasty Nati versus Duke-Holla at the Blue Devils for getting to go bowling versus just always being invited to the big dance. Yeah,  ACC football sucks but  good for them. Tommy Tuberville is saying goodbye Lubbock and hello Bearcats. Cincy

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl-Baylor vs UCLA  What? Was Oxford Pocket Protectors or Texas Instruments not interested in sponsorship? Baylor spoiled K-State's big party plans and Jim Mora Junior made a splash in West LA. I'll go with RG3's alma mater in a close one.

Snooze. This takes us thru Dec 28.....My humor is low. Fa la la la la la la la.

NFL Picks

What it is? I'm getting to bowl picks but I have to take a look at who is playing in the Kellog's Frosted Flakes cereal bowl.  In other words, I have to look at all of the teams less than .500, barely at 500 and try to make a decisive pick. Endless soup and salad with extra peppers please!


Have you heard? Darnell Dockett of the Cardinals was fined $2 hundy thousand dollars for conduct detrimental to the team. Isn't playing for the Cardinals detrimental in general? How could they get so specific? Poor dude should fine them for not having a QB.Anyway, my husband was watching the NFL flick on Barry Sanders and I bet my boy, Matthew Stafford, would make his girlfriend give her implants up to have a RB like Barry. No? Instead, he has RBs that couldn't make the practice squad at Vassar. 

Oh, and before I forget. December is my month. I start celebrating my birthday the day after Thanksgiving through Jan 1st. Doesn't it sound incredibly self centered? Why? Because I can and it's really just about the food. I'm not big on the holidays but I do like that peppermint shake at Chick Fil A, salted caramel hot chocolate, and that reindeer mix. You know. The chex mix smothered in powdered sugar which would probably be pretty tasty mixed in the peppermint shake at Chick Fil A. Did you hear that cows? Instead of eat mor chickin how about drink mor shakes?

Enough about me and on to the N-F-L (not my kids)......

St. Louis at Buffalo-So Sam Bradford is dating this model, Karlie Kloss. Do you think she picked this sweater out for him? Maybe he was trying to look more like Bert or maybe it's Ernie from "Sesame Street" 
 
Anyway, St Louis is coming off a hot victory over the 49ers while Ryan Fitzpatrick is solving the Pythagorean theorem. Gosh this is difficult.....I'm gonna say Rams.

Dallas at Bunglemania-Take heart UGA fans. You will see many of the current Dawg players in orange and black stripes next year. Former UGA players Geno Atkins and AJ Green are having fabulous years and the Cowboys are still the Cowboys. Gosh..Which Tony Romo will show up? The one that dated Carrie Underwood? Or the one that dated Jessica Simpson? Mmmmmm. Bengals (thank me later Cowboy fans because me picking the Bengals insures a Cowboy victory).

KC at Cleveland-I had no idea Trent Richardson had a kid in the 9th grade. Well, he didn't actually give birth but the mother of his 3 children has WWF connections. I'm guessing Trent will try to make this work. BQ is the QB for the Chiefs. HOT! Cleveland has to go ahead and get a back up for Wheeden as he gets his AARP membership next year. Kidding! This is difficult too. Browns? Oh, and I had no idea that former Brown's QB and "Broke" star Bernie Kosar's daughter is a porn star. Do you put that snippet in the holiday card or just not discuss?

TN at Indy-Andrew Luck needs to shave that neck hair, but he's having a good year. Colts

NYJ at Jacksonville- Here is the game that may end with a score of 3-2. Mark Sanchez hit the bench last week after throwing 3 picks and a total of 97 yards. PHAT! Who knew Greg McElroy would get a standing ovation just for leading your team to a score? I never buy Jacksonville. J-E-T-S.

Chicago at Minnesota-Congrats to Christian Ponder for getting engaged to Samantha Steele. My understanding is that she is devoutly religious so she probably won't put up with the shenanigans many professional athletes engage in so maybe he already ponder-ed that. AP is having a banner year and I think the Bears have been decimated with injuries. Vikings

Philly at TB (no, the Eagles aren't going to a tuberculosis convention). Eagles are bad. Allegedly, Andy Reid may be the next coach at Dallas. I told my husband 4 or 5 weeks ago Eagles will be lucky to win 2 more games this season. He just rolled his eyes reading that. I have a tendency to make bold proclamations that annoy him. Like when I say that Christian Bale would love me if he met me or ice cream can be dinner. I don't buy TB, but I like the Bucs to win.

Arizona at Seattle-Where is the Cardinals' offense? Probably somewhere in the 2013 draft because Larry Fitzgerald doesn't play QB. Sea Hags have some adderall issues but Paris Hilton allegedly did too. Look how she turned out. Seattle gets a W because in order to win, you have to be able to score at least once.

Detroit at GB-Detroit-the running game is a dream and the defensive secondary looks like a sieve. GB has some woes, but I look for the A-Rod who isn't have hip replacement to get a win.

Atlanta at Carolina-They miss Cam at Auburn. They haven't scored since he left. Falcons have wrapped up the division and are looking to secure the #1 seed. Panthers are awful and Ron Rivera won't be wearing Panther gear next year. Falcons in a close one.

****Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****

Houston at NE-Congrats to Tom Brady for welcoming a daughter this week. He has a 3 year old son some teams would love to talk to (see AZ Cardinals). Andre Johnson took some at risk kids Xmas shopping this week (love that story) so he's our partridge in a pear tree. Still, I like the Pats at Home. For the record, I must have missed Robert Kraft's, ahem, girlfriend. http://deadspin.com/5925018/heres-patriots-owner-bob-kraft-helping-his-girlfriend-with-some-kind-of-weird-audition  I'm sure they discuss world events like the crisis in Syria at dinner.

****Disclaimer*****
Don't believe anything I say. I'm sure these are all wrong. XO

The Week in News...Yes, I can help you lower your IQ.

Mid morning snack picture above

 Tis the season for some breaking news. First, one of the only shows I enjoy is on television. It's about a lady who weighs around 600 pounds and wants stomach reduction surgery as she is bed bound. She was told to adhere to a strict diet to get down to 525 so they could do the bariatric surgery. What happened? BAM! Girl weighed in at almost 7 hundy at the pre-op. I hate it when you gain almost a hundred pounds instead of losing it. Pass the blizzard with extra peanut butter cups and a large cheese pizza from Mellow Mushroom, please.   Second, I heard that Charlie Strong is the top candidate for the University of Tennessee head coaching job. I know one thing.  If he is hired, the Vols will be strong-er than yesterday. Take it away Britney...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJWtLf4-WWs

Did everyone hear that Prince Harry is going to be an Uncle? Do you think Wills & Kate will register at Target or Babies R Us? Or would it be Lads R US over the pond?  The media will begin speculating and commenting on  her weight which always is an ass load of fun for most females-even a Princess. Everyone will have something to offer. Just ask Snooki as she is ready to dispense parenting advice to the royal couple. I guess Antonio Cromartie wasn't available.  http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20653317,00.html I didn't read the article but I feel pretty confident that Snooki won't be co-writing any parenting books with Dr. Sears. Maybe she can put something together with Mr. Boston. Congrats Wills & Kate!

I know this doesn't technically qualify as news but apparently Lindsay Lohan is "out of control." You don't say? According to this article, http://www.people.com/people/news/category/0,,20152666,00.html she was causing a scene (her lips alone could cause a scene)  and ordered some chick to empty her pockets. Isn't that robbery? She also allegedly punched a psychic, Tiffany Mitchell, in the face. Didn't you see that coming Tiff?I mean, geez. You are supposed to be psychic. Are most psychics orange?
Anyway, I hope the Lohan family pulls together to purchase this new design courtesy of the Olsen twins. It's $55k and made of alligator (which totally bites) and prescription pills. 
There is nothing like a bag with some Oxy. It's the gift that keeps on giving so this should be on LiLo's X-mas list.  You know that at Christmas dinner, Lindsay will sit down to a meal of Marlboros and ambrosia and start to think about what 2012 was like. As Dina passes the wine around, Lindsay will begin to gnaw the pills off her bag in a moment of weakness. Dina will try to stop her and encourage her to save some for her. Family bonding.

The Olympic Committee needs a new hobby. They stripped 4 athletes of their metals from the 2004 games. Yawn. http://msn.foxsports.com/olympics/story/ioc-strips-medals-from-four-2004-athens-olympics-winners-120512  The Olympics remind me of the Tour de France minus the yellow shirts. Moving on....

Taylor Swift is dating one of those guys from One Direction. Isn't it horrible to date a guy with better hair than you? I wonder if he tells her that she lights up his world like nobody else and the way the she flips her hair gets him overwhelmed? No?

Ah Demi Moore. Rumor has it that she is dating daughter Rumor's best friend, Vito Schnabel. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20652174,00.html  Lovely. Allegedly they were grinding and playing tonsil hockey at some event. Did you hear that Olympic committee? Test their pee and see what you find. I'm sorry I missed that.  He's 26 so I'm sure he is anxious to become a step dad to his best friend. Whatever makes you happy.

Bowl game picks coming. I love any bowl named after food or tax deductions. XO

The Week In News

Like a bad case of the flu, you've missed me haven't you? When you look at the headlines in the news, it's incredibly depressing which is why I prefer celebrities for fodder.  For the record, many of these things are sad, but well I'm just putting my spin on the situation. There is so much to discuss....

First off, another bad week in Elmo's world. Apparently, a 3rd individual has come forward to accuse Elmo of some scandalous behaviour (that spelling is a salute to my British posse'). I wonder if Elmo is able to talk to his gold fish, Dorothy, about this? Was the Count behind this? Bert & Ernie? I can absolutely see them being envious of Elmo's break out stardom. I bet Elmo is sitting in a dark room eating the marshmallows out of a box of Lucky Charms while listening to "Bridge Over Troubled Water." Sigh.......http://todayentertainment.today.com/_news/2012/11/27/15486793-ex-elmo-puppeteer-faces-new-allegation-of-sex-with-minor?lite

In other news, Bobbi Kristina, the daughter of the late Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, called off her engagement to her stepbrother. That's her prerogative (not to be confused with a pirogi) but I thought that one had longevity. Unfortunately, Bobbi Kristina inherited the gap between her teeth, similar to her father's. That probably came in during milk spitting contests. In true fashion, this drama will all unfold on their reality show which I had no idea existed. Looks like there is no need for anyone to purchase them an air brushed t-shirt that says "2Gether4Ever" http://todayentertainment.today.com/_news/2012/11/28/15521726-bobbi-kristina-and-fiance-reportedly-end-engagement?lite

Nothing says "pass the turkey" like a nice fist fight in front of your kid. The father of Halle Berry's kid, who is named after something in "The Lion King", and her new French boyfriend got into a physical altercation when either picking up or dropping off the kid. Nice!  Halle has suspect taste in men, ay? Looks like the pumpkin was beat out of her former sweetie pie. http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/28/gabriel-halle-olivier-martinez-halle-berry-police-report-instigator-fight/

Here's one. Jason Patric apparently dated this lady with the strange boobs for several years, but offered his sperm as a break up gift. Do they have a Hallmark card that goes along with this? Can Zales give you a necklace called "The Sperminated Pendant"? Check it out http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/28/jason-patric-custody-war-sperm-custody-ex-girlfriend-son/?adid=hero2

 Hanukkah and Christmas are just around the corner and perhaps you don't know what to get that special guy in your life. Well, here is the answer. Nothing says, "You are special" like a tank top with nipple cutouts. Yes, I just said the word nipple.   Here is the clean, main stream link (the hilarious made me laugh so hard I cried version is at www.dlisted.com but don't go there on a work related computer) to  a story about Yoko Ono's new clothing line. I know many of your are wondering how you can get a pair of pants with hands painted on the crotch area, so Opening Ceremony has an entire line of Yoko's masterpieces to help you. http://www.accessatlanta.com/ap/ap/entertainment/oh-yoko-onos-fashion-line-gropes-for-lennon/nTHmw/?icid=buzzlink Finally, we all know where  to get a jockstrap with a LED light. Thanks Yoko for helping guys fill their wardrobe with new basics.

Holla!

College Picks

Happy almost Thanksgiving. Not a huge fan of this holiday as we should be thankful year round, right? Still, it's an opportunity to enjoy the topping of the sweet potato souffle (hold the marshmallows and extra crunch). Remember last week when there was a contingency of peeps elated at the fact the SEC National Championship had been snapped a la Lifetime? What a difference a week makes! I didn't watch any games Saturday night and had a stream of texts (in between texts with pictures of various desserts) giving me play by play of K-State vs Baylor and Stanford vs Oregon. Oh Brent Musburger....I know peeps who can replace you and call the players by the correct names. Anyway, the Ducks promptly laid an egg (1st duck joke) while K-State wet the bed or should I say field? Nice job sealing the deal when it was all there for the taking, guys.

Did you hear? Maryland will still protect the house but it will be in the Big 10 and joining them are the Scarlett Knights of Rutgers. They too, will be stomped by Ohio State. And where does that leave FSU and Clemson? It's one of those things that make you go hmmmmmm. On with the show...

UGA vs GT-My neighbors generally put their GT flag up this time of year, but no flag sighting as of yet. If you haven't heard, GT backed into that ACC Championship game with a phat 6-5 record and a loss at home to Middle TN State. Wouldn't they love to spoil UGA's party? This is such a big if, and I have probably jinxed the entire situation, but if UGA beats the fuzzy bees, and Bama, they could go play Rudy and Company in the BCS championship game. More on Rudy later....I could see UGA being a little flat  and a close game, but I see a Dawg victory in this rivalry. (I hope. My fingers, legs, and toes are crossed and I just tossed some salt over my shoulder as I typed this)

Florida vs FSU-Jimbo Fisher is upset because FSU isn't getting any love in the polls. You can't lose to NC State, Jimbo. It's only acceptable in hoops. The Gators have looked a bit dicey the last few weeks against lesser opponents. Maybe they are playing down to the competition? Not sure, but I will take the Gators in a photo finish (watch them lose by 45).

Ohio State vs Michigan-I said earlier this year the Buckeyes were going undefeated and they will. It's tough to do that 2 years in a row, but look for Ohio State to dominate the Big 10 (or maybe it's 14 now) until.....well until someone else steps up  and that could be quite a while. Michigan, Wisconsin, and Nebraska are on the second tier and then there is that sad, pathetic 3rd tier. It's tough to vote against Urban, so Buckeyes get a big W and sit home in January watching "The Amazing Race" (never seen the show but I've heard many like it).

Alabama vs Auburn-Oh Auburn.....If you are Gene Chizik, how do you like people openly discussing who is going to replace you at the weekly staff meetings? I bet they didn't put his name in the Secret Santa exchange. Have they even scored 100 points total all season? This will get fugly-fast. Tide roll...

USC vs ND-Remember when Matt Barkley came back to win a National Championship and the Heisman? Right. The only thing these USC QBs are truly good for is hooking up with celebutantes. All is right in the world as ND is number 1. At half time during this game, I expect angels to drop down and sing  while leprechauns dance. As a friend of mine pointed out, it's interesting that Barkley is injured for this game. This same friend thinks the Vatican is on this (what??????). I want to be the first to say that if ND wins the National Title, ESPN will move their HQ from Bristol to South Bend. Lou Holtz will be unintelligible (oh wait-that's already happening). We will have live streams of what is happening on the campus and what player is currently using the urinal. Pinterest will shut down from the ND faithful.  I'm not kidding. USC can score but the D is sketchy. Sigh. ND solidifies their number 1 ranking and the earth will tremble.

Tennessee vs Kentucky-I guess Derek Dooley won't be wearing orange at the Thanksgiving table this year. Kentucky is absolutely terrible and canned their coach, Joker Phillips, mid way through the season and that's no joke. Who will be the next guy singing "Rocky Top"? Not sure but big orange gets the victory.

Oklahoma State at Oklahoma-It's big game Bobby vs Mike "I'm a man" Gundy. Not sure what to think of this game as Oklahoma lost to K State and to ND. Remember, Lou Holtz and Bob Stoops are good friends and Bob probably puts Lou on mute when he calls to salivate (literally) over ND. If they use Face time, Bob wears goggles and a protective mask. Haven't seen the Cowboys play, but I generally like the Sooners at home. Boomer sooner (yes, they will lose by 30).

Stanford at UCLA- Both teams coming off a big win, so who can keep the momentum? I'll take the team behind door number 3. Cardinals.

South Carolina at Clemson-Darth's squad has looked shaky since blowing the doors off UGA. They struggled against Wofford last week until the 4th quarter. Another year and another Clemson team. Typically, I would take the Gamecocks, but their offense is anemic. They haven't looked the same since losing Marcus Lattimore. Clemson in a close one. Wait, did I just pick an ACC team? Have I lost touch with reality? Steve Spurrier can email me a personal thanks for picking Clemson.

Oregon at Oregon State-Oregon and their allegedly unstoppable offense waddle (2nd duck joke) into Corvallis to take on the Beavers. Rumor has it (thanks Adele!) that Chip Kelly is going to be the top candidate for the Philadelphia Eagles. From ducks to eagles? What the cluck?  I know. I know. The ducks had top billing (ha) media was hoping a PAC 10 team would play for the National title for the sex-ay factor, but it's not to be. Oregon State has a good record but I can never tell much about the PAC 10 teams except that it is possible to score 35 points in under a minute. Mmmmmm. This one is difficult. I'm going with the upset and pick the Beavers to gnaw their way to a victory over the quack pack attack.


****Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****

LSU vs Arkansas-Did you see Les Miles' post game conference last week? It's a good thing the FCC wasn't asking questions because he got all feisty on the media. Les is an odd duck, but he is a good coach. John L Smith has been quiet since saying the state of Alabama was behind him. Alabama, Arkansas....they both start with an "A." LSU gets the win.

Pro picks tomorrow. Go Dawgs!

News Updates and Pro Picks

It's a wild Friday night for me. Would you like to know what I'm drinking? Are you ready? Yes, I am totally indulging in 1% milk versus skim. Can you believe it? I also have the "Hangover 2" in the background because there is one scene I absolutely loved. I imitated it for one of my co-workers a few weeks ago and haven't been reported to HR as of yet, so that's a positive.

So it has been confirmed that future neurosurgeon Hope Solo got hitched to the boyfriend with a rap record. No, not the Eminem or Kanye West kind. Which got me thinking...If this union produces a son, will Hope name him Han and give it her last name? May the force be with her during this union.

Also, apparently Papa Lohan can give Antonio Cromatie a run for his money in the reproduction department. It was revealed this week that he has a 17 yr old love child. I'm sure this child is the picture of stability just like the rest of the Lohan posse. He also is expecting a child with his current squeeze, Kate Major. Kate gave up that blissful union she had with that purse, John Gosselin to pursue a Lohan.

It was a major shock these two didn't last                

So now she and Michael Lohan, are awaiting their arrival of their latest paycheck. My hope is that they don't tattoo each other's names on their ring fingers. Look at how that worked out for Pam & Tommy Lee. Congrats to the  love birds who have had to call the police to break up their arguments. Maybe they can do din din with Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens? 





It's time for the NFL picks so let's get this party started....

Indy at NE-It's Lurch vs Mr. GQ. Luck has had a nice rookie year, but I will take the cut off sweatshirt bunch.

SD at Denver-Remember, Norv Turner has weekly meetings to determine if he keeps his job. After this game, will the Chargers organization ask for his parking pass? Peyton is manning the Denver O well right now, so I say Broncos.

GB at Detroit-Apparently, Aaron Rodgers was very offended that "60 Minutes" did not portray him the way he wanted as he is allegedly extremely sensitive. Perhaps instead of a Pizza Hut commercial Aaron's next commercial should be for Tampax. Geez. Give this guy some  Midol. You know how much  I adore Stafford and Megatron, but the Lions generally don't score until the 4th quarter. Pack Attack.

Cincy at KC-The Bungles slammed the Giants last week but can they put together 2 wins in a row? They are playing the Chiefs, so they can count on 5 or 6 turnovers. AJ Green should have fun with that Chief secondary. They won't bungle this. Nasty Nati with the W.

TB at Carolina-I'm not buying the Bucs but I will buy Josh Freeman's hair. I love it. Allegedly, Ron Rivera is on the week to week plan. Can Cam lead his team to a win? Will Steve Smith punch his own teammates in the face during the coin toss to build camaraderie?  Panthers in a slight upset (at least I think it's an upset)

Jacksonville at Houston-I'm not sure if MJD is still injured, but it won't matter. JJ Watt will meet Blaine Gabbert many times. Texans

NYJ vs Rams-Did you hear that several unnamed Jets players told the media that Tim Tebow is a terrible QB and Mark Sanchez is there only hope? Sanchez must have shared some numbers out of his little black book with those guys. Tebow is supposedly in love with Camilla Belle, who dated one of the Jonas Brothers so perhaps he doesn't care. You are about to witness something as rare as a Panda Bear shopping at Publix. Yes, I'm taking the Rams.

Philly at Washington-Eagles are a mess. I hope Nick Foles is preparing for his concussion as the Eagle O-line couldn't block my 2 yr old. RG3 gets a W.

Chicago at SF-This should have been a stellar game but I doubt Cutler will play, so that means they wheel out Jason Campbell. Alex Smith may play, but this game will be like getting a shot of Novocain. 49ers.

****Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner Lock of the Week**************

Cardinals vs Falcons-Remember when people were all excited when the Cards were 4-0? Have you seen the Cards offense? Yeah, they haven't either. Larry Fitzgerald needs to learn to throw the ball down the field to himself. Falcons lost a tough game against Brees & company. However, this one is a guaranteed Falcon win . Just like I guarantee this couple doesn't go the distance. Peace out!

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

    

                                                                                                                                                    

College Picks

BIG CALF BOOT COMPANY

Gosh, I have so much more to say about recent events in the media, but I am holding off until after I make my picks. Moooo-ve over. I've decided to launch my own boot company called ...(see above). Apparently, us freakishly large calved (is that a word????) people have to take it upon ourselves to create boots that fit comfortably over our calves. There is also a misconception that only people who have to be physically removed from their homes courtesy of the fire department on a TLC special have large calves. Hello! I'm mobile (thankfully:). I'm totally normal (that's such a relative term), single digit sized. However, my calves are not. Speaking of those home bound people due to morbid obesity, I'm always fascinated how they got to that point. Was it one of those Pizza Hut 2 medium pizzas for $10 specials that pushed them over the edge? Did someone come over and say, "would you like some m&ms?" and then BAM!!! You are then eating 2 dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, and a loaf of toast slathered in country crock spread for breakfast prior to your mid morning snack of 2 Big Macs, 2 large fries and a Diet Coke. Oh I know it's a disease and it's horrible, but I can't help but wonder what the tipping point is. It is very sad, but fascinating to read about those scenarios.  Me? I would absolutely love to hole up in the closet and eat a bag of jelly beans and chase it with a large margarita. Salt please, to ensure the fact that I would feel extra bloated.

Getting close to end of college football's regular season and you have to be feeling a bit perturbed if you are Urban Meyer. You are probably going to go undefeated, further solidifying your strong hold of the Big 10, but alas, you are on triple public probation.You will be eating Skyline Chili in Columbus in January instead of going to some glitzy destination like Miami or Pasadena.

USC vs UCLA-This is also being billed as the battle of LA which should not be confused with the Crips vs Bloods. You have Lane Kiffin who looks like he is in the 8th grade and Jim Mora Jr. who gets ultra defensive in interviews where people don't kiss his booty. This is a no-brainer. Lane Kiffin doesn't bother me. Big deal that he's a used car salesman. That Yugo isn't really a Mercedes. I'll take the Trojans.

Stanford at Oregon- Cardinals vs Aquatic birds. Will feathers fly in this match up of the PAC 12 (I think that is the number now)? Is it sink or swim time for the quack attack? I can think of sooooo many inappropriate but funny signs the Stanford student body could make up for this game.  The Ducks are now the #1 team after Alabama lost to Texas A&M. I've only seen snippets of Stanford and they don't look overly impressive. Oregon can put big digits but they also give up big digits. Still, I look for Donald, Daisy and Howard  to get the win.

Oklahoma at WV-Remember when Geno Smith was going to win the Heisman and the Mountaineers were going to the BCS Championship game? Yeah, they remember that week too. However, in the words of Soul 11 Soul, "Back to life. Back to reality." I should also point out that I thought the line of this song that said "However do you need it" was saying "I wanna be anemic." I thought that was odd, but I'm no musician so there could have been hidden meaning. Geez. I digress. The Sooners have performed (choking) as expected while WV continues to spiral downward. Maybe they burned one too many couches during the celebrations? Typically, I like the Mountaineers at home with everyone being related in the stands. A big family affair. However, I say boomer sooner prevails.

FSU vs MD-What ensembles will the Terps roll out this week? Jimbo Fisher is whining that his team can't get in the Championship game because they are ranked 10th in the BCS with one loss. Here, let me solve this problem, Jimbo. You should have beaten freaking NC State. MD is terrible with one of the cheerleaders soon to be lining up at QB. Noles.

Alabama A&M at Auburn-Do you think Gene Chizik is including his forwarding address with his holiday cards this year? Could this be win number trois for Auburn? I say "fo sho."

Arkansas at MS State-Will Bobby Petrino end up back at Arkansas? Has he served a year of penance after a debacle with a 26 yr old former coed who he convinced he had swagger when he bought her some Twizzlers? This led to that famed motorcycle ride and the rest is history. I think girl should have a least held out for some Toblerone. Woo Pig Sooey continues the coaching search and the OTHER Bulldogs get a W.



Northwestern vs Michigan State-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Oh I suppose I will take the Wildcats.

UGA vs GA Southern-From time to time, I like to think I have a good idea. Long story short-when I was at UGA, I wanted to write a book called, "The UGA Man-Pick of the Litter." There is much hidden humor behind this. UGA has a much better record than I thought they would. I thought they would be 8-4. This is a winner, winner, chicken dinner security system lock of the week. Dawgs get a big "W" before they squash the fuzzy bees...


If you know me, you know I am a crazy devoted UGA fan. I watch them play hoops, baseball, gymnastics, anything. I also have a terribly warped sense of humor. When I saw this commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-H5Wy8TH9s, I knew what they were going for. However, after the "You can leave, but it never leaves you" segment, the first thing I said was, "I bet that was written by someone who contracted an STD while in college."

Rock on....

The Week in News

What a week of strange news stories? I have so much to say on these, but again, I try to keep it PG and I don't want to offend peeps.  I mean, even Elmo can't escape the sex scandals. I wonder if this scandalous pic is his e-harmony profile pic? Poor guy-I mean muppet. I feel that Snufflelufugus or perhaps the Count was behind this seeing that timing is so close to the holidays. I'm sure there is some jealousy with there being a "Tickle Me Elmo" or a "Rock and Roll Elmo." Where is the "Sneezing Snufflelufugus" or "Oscillating Oscar" doll? Right. Favoritism. I hope Elmo doesn't have to go on "Intervention."

Did you hear about Hope Solo? I have always contended that Hope had less than 10 brain cells, but this recent story confirms that I was being far too generous with that assessment.http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/soccer/2012/11/14/hope-solo-fiance-assault-case-police-investigation/1705211/  Allegedly, Hope has been dating Jerramy (had to check the spelling) Stevens (formerly of the Seahawks) for 8 weeks. He has some prior arrests, but apparently a man with a record is attractive. They got engaged and to celebrate, assault charges were filed. There is absolutely nothing funny about abuse of any kind, but they got married. Did they wear matching orange jumpsuits to commemorate this event? Something tells me a visit to Dr. Phil is in order for this pair and I doubt the thank you notes for wedding gifts will be written before divorce proceedings begin. But what do I know? Congrats, I suppose.

"All In" an epic an colossal cluster

Speaking of men with a record, I'm sure everyone has heard of this Petraeus scandal.I am absolutely fascinated by this story. It's like "Days of Our Lives in the Military" or "Top Secret Love Connection." So this Broadwell chickadee writes a "glowing" biography about getting to know the decorated General David Petraeus. Little did we know she got to know him in the biblical sense. But that wasn't enough. Allegedly, she got all snippy when Jill Kelley was all giddy around Gen Petraeus. I hope Petraeus has a vanity plate that reads 'PLAYAHATA." Apparently this guy is the shizzle. Perhaps the folks at People magazine got it wrong and should have named him "Sexiest Man Alive?" And what was "socialite" Jill Kelly (careful when you google as ANOTHER Jill Kelley is a porn star) thinking? Because allegedly, she was receiving shirtless photos of another FBI agent described as a "gag". Let me go on record, that if I was sending topless photos of myself, it wouldn't be described as a gag but rather people making people gag. This story is slowly unfolding, but Petraeus supposedly hoped the story wouldn't become public..Join the club with.....

The Waffle House CEO???  http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/waffle-house-ceo-responds-directly-to-sexual-haras/nS5wN/  Hello? This guy claims he is a victim of his own stupidity. I like that statement. This story actually makes me throw up in my mouth when I read it, but I can't help but wonder if the Waffle House song was playing in the background during these encounters? This will probably be one of those stories where a statement is released where the accused says something to the affect of, "This incident has brought my wife and I closer to the Lord and strengthened our union." Watch.  Did I ever mention the time I took my kids to the Waffle House and someone left their teeth in the restroom? They are easy to forget and are frequently seen on "lost" posters.

If a strike isn't resolved we may be saying au revoir to 
Personally, I think Twinkies are disgusting but I've heard the deep fried variety are better. Why is this guy riding a twinkie? The countdown is on to see if the Twink can be salvaged.

And finally, one of my former top 5 ers (yes, it is completely juvenile but we used to have a top 5 list among some friends. One used to update his power point presentation each week but #1 was always Parker Posey and #2 was always Barbra  Streisand. No, I'm not making that up. It was the way we were.) was in the news.  You can tell a great deal about a person by reviewing their top 5 list. I guess congrats are in order to former tennis player, James Blake (swoon!!!). He got married this week (I'm not sending a gift) and I'm assuming it's because he finally realized we weren't going to be. Here he is before he donated his hair and with his dog.....Pass the drool cup.



Football picks tomorrow. Woof!

Pro Picks

First, I need to apologize to Brian Griese and Lee Corso by saying they were drunk or off their meds because they picked A&M over the Tide. Sorry peeps! You were right. This means the potential for a K-State vs Oregon or ND vs. Oregon national championship game. That sounds absolutely....terrible. I still think USC may knock off ND, but K-State should definitely win out the rest of the season.

My 7 yr old daughter announced she is going to China this summer to become a star. Awesome. I guess I need to teach her to do laundry and  perhaps she can take care of her mother. I can be momzilla and channel my inner Dina Lohan. And on another note, my 9 yr old son wanted to know if we were going to the White House to vote. I told him that the experience wouldn't be quite that glitzy and a trip to the middle school would have to suffice.

I love this commercial on ESPN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLp3F_xnen4

It's Week 9 so let's see how many incorrect picks I have this week.......

Oakland at Baltimore-Yes, I know. I picked the Browns in an upset last week. Remember, I had food poisoning so I'm going to claim temporary insanity. Baltimore may be banged up, but they are playing the Raiders. Ravens get the W.

Denver at Carolina-Allegedly, Ron Rivera of the Panthers has weekly meetings to determine if he gets to keep his job. I guess after last week's win over the Redskins, he was greeted with, " Good news! You stay employed for another week." I know Peyton is playing well, but I'm not sold on the Broncos and I'm certainly not sold on Cam and the Panthers. However, Steve Smith holds a special place in  my heart because I remember when he punched one of his teammates in the face, then Coach John Fox (ironically now with Denver-yes, I think that was the appropriate usage of irony) said it brought the team together, Exactly. Punching someone in the face builds unity. Bey Bey and the Broncos get a win.

Giants at the Bengals-Giants took one on the chin courtesy of Big Fug Ben and company. A,J Green is a start WR. Too bad he plays for the Bengals. Giants have issues, but it's tough to count them out. G-men.

Detroit at Minnesota-So, supposedly Christian Ponder is getting slack because they are saying he is distracted by his girlfriend Samantha Steele. Nonsense. He's just not that good of a QB, but when you have AP, it keeps you in the game. Megatron is banged up so Matt Stafford  has to spread the love. Vikings in a squeaker.

Buffalo at NE-Did you hear? The world is supposed to get a bit more beautiful in December when Gis give birth.    Patriots look a bit off to me this year, but Buffalo is not very good. However, props to Mario Williams for securing a phat check to do absolutely nada this season for the Bills. And geez, those interviews with Rob Gronkowski are painful...for everyone involved. But he's a great TE. Patriots get the W.

NYJ at Seattle-Love between Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria didn't last but the two remain "extremely close and amicable" (i.e-booty calls continue). Jets are bad. I'm not sure why they took Tim Tebow. But I can tell you that all promotional materials in NYC under activities to do, actually say "Watch Tim Tebow and the Jets." Uh huh. This game is in Seattle in the land of Starbucks and Seattle's best. I bet Pete Caroll is one of those annoying people who orders a grande non fat, no whip black & white, half pump sugar free cappuccino. Pretentious. Seattle gets a victory.

Dallas at Philly- I said about 3 weeks ago that I would be floored if the Eagles won 3 more games the rest of the season. They haven't won yet. This is the most difficult game to pick because these teams are the exact same. They never live up to the hype. I can't help but think Michael Vick made the o-line mad because they part like the Red Sea after the snap. Mmmmm. Oh Romo, Romo, wherefore art thou Romo. Cowboys

St Louis at San Francisco-Sam Bradford, meet the 49er defense. 49ers...big

KC at Pitt-Please! What did we do as a society to deserve this as the Monday night game? Is there a knitting convention being shown at the same time because that would be as exciting. Someone stage an intervention and stop the networks from showing the Chiefs. It's better for everyone involved. Steelers

***Game of the Week****-Houston at Chicago. Everyone is giddy about this game. Cutler is keeping the picks to a minimum and seems to be working and playing well with others right now. J.J Watt is fabulous but Texans seem more suspect on the road. Da Bears.

Falcons at the Saints-Is Sean Payton going to Dallas? Why would he want to do that? So Jerry Jones, can put a tracking device on his ankle and tell him exactly what to do. The Saints D is just horrible but this should be a shoot out. I'll take Arthur Blank in a close one.

Remember "Joanie Loves Chachi"? Yes, well we know that Scott Baio went on to continued fame with that classic "Charles In Charge." Allegedly, at one time he was an item with Joanie but then he moved on to people like Pamela Anderson and Heather Locklear. Looks like Joanie is scrappy and got into a drunken altercation with her 72 year old MIL. Did she put some vodka in her Ensure? Check it out http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/10/erin-moran-happy-days-star-homeless-broke-recluse_n_2109722.html

So, for the record, there is a video, photo, and a link to a story. Multi media baby! Go Dawgs!!!

Insert Clever, Thought Provoking Title With College Picks

I think I've shared that I'm not a big television watcher. If it's not sports or real life mysteries, I generally don't watch. However, there is some show called "Secretly Pregnant" that I happened to catch. It's about peeps who don't want to tell their families they are with child. This one girl/lady/female (I'm not sure of the appropriate reference) was 20 and had a 2 year old child with her boyfriend. They seemed like nice enough young people. However, they broke up and he impregnated another girl. Of course, the natural thing for the mother of his child to do upon hearing this is to suggest they try to have another child. BAM. Peeing on the stick. So, this 20 year old guy was expecting 2 kids within 3 months in addition to his 2 year old. Perhaps he was going to be on the Antonio Cromartie/ Willis McGahee (aka "The Sperminator) plan? They were concerned as to how he was going to pay child support as he was only working part time at the car wash. It was depressing.

Did you hear? There was an election this week. I loved watching the talking heads (not those Talking Heads) just talk. Diane Sawyer may have slipped out to happy hour during the commercial breaks.You never know what is in the coffee mug. For those of you playing along at home (and according to my stats, some of you actually read this blog in the wee hours of the morning. I guess this blog is a natural alternative to Ambien. I love it and am totally flattered), Diane Sawyer is Rachel Nichols of ESPN fame's mother in law.  I bet Diane has Rachel listed as BABYGOTBACK in her phone. They put an extra chair at the table at Thanksgiving for the special guest known as Rachel's bootay! I turned it over to NBC to see Tom Brokaw slurring and drooling. I thought he was channeling Lou Holtz but I wanted to tell him Halloween was o-vah. And I was surprised to see that Sarah Palin looks like she has been spending some time with Snooki and J-Woww. Apparently, orange skin and bouffants are de riguer in the last frontier. Anyway, we still have 4 (sorry Louisville-you are irrelevant) unbeatens.....

Arkansas at South Carolina-Oh how the mighty have fallen. Arkansas squeaked by Tulsa last week and they are basically trying to attract a new coach-preferably one that knows what state the school is in. Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition. South Carolina lost their best player, Marcus Lattimore, in a gruesome incident against the Vols.  However, Darth will out wit crazy John L Smith. Gamecocks.

Texas A&M at Alabama-I could be wrong, but I think Brian Griese just said on ESPN that A&M beats Bama. Wasn't he the guy that passed out in his car? I need to google that. Maybe I'm getting him confused with Chris Simms but regardless, he's wrong. I have spoken. Aggies  have done much better than Auburn and Arkansas their first year in the SEC and trounced Mississippi State last week. Some think Bama looked vulnerable against LSU, but a W is a W, baby. I also had to google A J McCarren's mom as they were discussing her this am. And I found her. Interesting...Tide get the W
 

Oregon at Cal-Ducks versus the Bears. No, this particular battle won't be shown on Nat Geo Wild. I love watching the Ducks play. Their offense quacks me up. Aaron Rodgers' alma mater is bad. Ducks will waddle away with a big win.

Oregon State at Stanford-The great thing about these PAC 10, 12 or 16 games (I'm unsure of the official moniker) is that a score of 45-30 with one minute left means nothing. The game can be 56-56 in under 30 seconds. Gosh, I guess I will take the ultra smarties in this one.

Mizzou at TN-Hey Mizzou! You are in a big boy conference now so celebrate and get some decent uniforms. Call Chip Kelly at Oregon if you want to mix it up a bit. I swear Derek Dooley is going to be in treatment for anorexia before the end of the year. These 2 teams need a W, but the guy in orange near the hound dog needs one more. Big Orange gets a W.

Arizona State at USC-Oh Lane Kiffin. Everyone had such high hopes for the Trojans this year and their QB, Matt Barkley, but their defense has been a bit porous. Like a giant block of swiss cheese with extra holes. However, we can all still hold out hope that USC knocks off the Leprechans next week. This week they have to knock out the Sun Devils. And they will steal their pitchforks. Song girls get a win.

Jim Mora Jr. versus Mike Leach-Is this boxing? Did you know Mike Leach is a close friend of Donald Trump? No word on whether or not they share the same hairdresser. Mora was supposed to bring sexay (this spelling was intentional) back to the Bruins because they've been obsolete for years. Mike Leach was supposed to bring the Washington State offense to life-kind of like GE used to bring good things to life.  Both coaches are annoying, but UCLA gets the win.

UGA vs Auburn-Speaking of bad, Auburn has been a special kind of awful this year racking up 2 victories against New Mexico State and an overtime win against ULM. I bet Gene Chizek thinks they installed seat warmers in his office chair. So this will be a blowout, right? It will probably be a decent game and although dog's are man's best friend, they won't be Auburn's. Dawgs seal the deal. Woof.

I'm all out of clever and thankfully on a halloween candy cleanse. One more kit kat would have made me TLC reality show material. Word up!

****Disclaimer*****

I didn't check a thing in this blog so I'm sure grammatical errors are plentiful like a cornucopia. XO

Left, Right or Independent? Yes, It's That Time

I'm about to say something which will cause many to gasp and roll their eyes....ready? I've never voted before. I'm registered, but I've never voted and  plan to tomorrow. ******Disclaimer*******These are just my thoughts and what do I know? Yes, there are certain issues which I fell rather strongly about, but people just get so snippy and hateful when it comes to anything political that I just try to avoid those particular discussions. Comments such as, "You are stupid if you don't vote xxxxx" or "You are an idiot if you yyyyyyyy." These types of comments are frequently disguised as being "passionate" or "spirited" when in reality they are disrespectful and rude. I'm many, many, many things but one thing I'm not is stupid. Goofy, yes. Quirky, yes. OCD, yes. Stupid, nada. This is precisely why I discuss meaningful topics such as Posh Spice or "Around the Horn." As as result,  I haven't participated and I realize many think this is not serving my civic duty. Again, I have such a laundry list of flaws both real and perceived.  EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion and I try to respect everyone's beliefs (and love it when someone can present an argument and back it up with facts-real facts). However, I am so OVER the incessant hatred. For the record, I grew up in a very southern family and I've had my own views for as long as I can remember. It has been and continues to be a source of contention.  I didn't believe something because my parents did, although I'm sure they wished I did. I can give so many examples of differences, but that is an entirely different blog.

Friday night I received 33 (yes, 33!!!!) from various political organizations trying to.....I'm not sure what they were trying to do. I had both lines going at one time. I swore that someone had posted my number in a call center chat room in retaliation for something I had done. Who did this? Can I report this to Nancy Grace? What had I done? Was I being punished for picking up the last jar of  Skippy Super Chunk at Publix? Was I supposed to leave this for someone else? Was I being punished for saying that I hoped Notre Dame lost? Was the universe mad at me for eating the last ice cream sandwich in the summer of 1984 because I knew my brother wanted it? Isn't that what little sisters are supposed to do? I don't believe in coincidences so clearly these overzealous callers will share something  insightful with me, right?

One call started off with a very exaggerated, "Hello. Do you enjoy living and working amongst terrorists?" What???? This is seriously a question? Another one involved a 3 question survey,  but I only heard question 1 (more on that in a minute).  The question was something along the line of, "do you agree with Billy Graham that one of the most important things we need to protect is the sanctity of marriage? Press 1 to agree and 2 to disagree." They didn't like my answer and hung up on me. HARSH! I wish I could have answered this question as this is one topic I LOVE discussing with anyone. I won't shy away from this one  and it's right up there with discussions of Jessica Simpson and who gets into the BCS championship game if there are 4 undefeateds.  But to dissect the question a bit further, I don't know Billy Graham (I know who he is) so why would I need his guidance on my decision making? No offense, but I'm quite capable of making up my own mind. That is part of the problem in our culture. We are always looking for answers from someone else.  However, they were a relentless bunch and called back 2 more times perhaps looking for a different answer.

My favorite call started off with, "Mr. George?"  I told them they had the wrong number. I received an apology and another call back. 2nd time. "Mr. George?" 'No, I'm still not Mr. George. Wrong Number." (I should have just said I was Boy George for entertainment purposes.) 3rd time. I said, "Do I sound like Mr. George? Wait, let me get my testosterone." Maybe they had me confused with one of those Balco clients. Let's just say I was relieved when the calls ended. 

Anyway, I admire and respect that many are so passionate about political topics. I love a nice spirited discussion as well, but any conversation that includes quotes from Pat Robertson is a no-go for me......Love to my peeps of all political affiliations. And if I'm unfriended after this fairly neutral post, oh well. XO

Red, white and blue, baby!

When the Halloween Candy Dwindles and Pro Picks

Did you hear that? Yes, it's the football angels rejoicing because ND remains undefeated.  I wasn't thinking on some of my picks (MD and Miss State. I will take full credit for any other misses as I read about those 2 games) and for once read someone else's picks before making my own. Shame on me. Never listen to someone who is paid to pick games. I'll stick to the au natural method.

My two year old looked in his halloween pumpkin and sighed, "but there isn't much left." I didn't tell him it was because he has been eating candy non stop. Oh, and I should confess. I'm the mother who encourages the kids to eat all of the candy as quickly as possible because I don't want to hear about it. Eat it and move on. Or back to "apple cores and twigs" as my daughter says. I told my 2 year old you have to pace yourself if you want it to last longer.  Apparently, he took that suggestion to heart because he proceeded to take candy out of his brother's and sister's baskets and put it in his own.  He then clapped and said "Good job!" Resourceful isn't he?

There are many teams in the NFL short on resourcefulness, so let me see who is playing according to the oft maligned peeps at nfl.com.

Denver at Bunglemania- Everyone is on the Bronco bandwagon and it's great to see Peyton Manning play well. I bet Peyton would love to have a receiver like AJ Green, you know? Still not buying the Broncos and the Bunbles are sketchy as usual. This one is difficult. Mmmmm. I guess I will take the Bengals in a close one in what I'm guessing is an upset. Why? Why not?

Baltimore at Cleveland-Isn't just about everyone on the Raven's D except for Ed Reed ? They looked awful against the Texans and the Brownies just secured win number 2. Your mama is a llama! Why do I think the Browns will win? I just feel the Ravens have been decimated by injuries so I'm taking the Browns and their AARP QB. Yes, we can all laugh together when the Browns lose by 40.

Arizona at GB-Oh the Cardinals. Larry Fitzgerald is fabulous but too bad no one can throw the ball to him. I say the Packers do their discount double check dance.

Detroit at Jacksonville-Did you hear that Jacksonville's offense, aka Maurice Jones Drew, got hurt? Detroit only scores in the 4th quarter and I just adore Matthew Stafford. Dude needs a little help like maybe a running game. Do they even have a running back in Detroit? This is exactly the kind of game where the Lions lay an egg. But, I say Lions get the win with a late score.

Carolina at Washington-Is it time for Cam to turn that frown upside down? Perhaps not yet and I heard that the Panther's coach, Ron Rivera is in the Norv Turner "week to week" club. Sounds like he is hooked up to life support. I like RG3 and I think the Redskins win a super duper close one.

Pitt at the Giants-Bigfoot or Elmer? I can't bet against a guy who wears sweater vests in his post game interview. Eli and Cruz do a salsa dance. 

TB at Oakland-Isn't there such parity in the NFL? There are some really bad teams. This week people are trying to convince us that TB is "hot". Freeman has been playing well and Ronde Barber is great. Hot might be a stretch. Let's try tepid. Kind of like when you put the Ben & Jerry's in the microwave for a few seconds so you can eat it out of the container with greater ease. I'll give the Bucs that level of heat.  Raiders are, well the Raiders. But they do have devout fans and you never know which Carson Palmer shows up to play. Rayduhs

Chicago at TN-What's up with that new commercial with Jay Cutler? And I don't get the Urlacher thing either and perhaps it's because the man date Paris Hilton. I bet they were splitting atoms. Titans have looked decent with Hassleback at QB, but I think the Bears win an ugly game.

Philadelphia at NO- Two shoulda, coulda, woulda teams. Mike Vick may be on the hot seat but it beats being in the big house. His o-line parts like the Red Sea when he drops back which makes me wonder if he told them to use one of his financial advisor's named Ron Mexico. I kid! That's in the past and I like watching Michael Vick play, but it's been a challenge seeing him in the upright position. Drew Brees has the highest "like" factor of any professional athlete and I commend the man for saying au revoir to the Chargers. I just don't know on this one. They both have so much talent but have looked horrible. Eagles?

****Winner-Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****

Dallas at Atlanta- Oh the Cowboys. Did you hear they are opening a Victoria's Secret at Jerry World? But this is at the Arthur Blank Dome so no wings or sequins will be present unless any of the, ahem, "Real Housewives of Atlanta" are at the game. Listen, Tony Romo seems like a nice guy and I've heard he's a great tipper. Love Demarcus Ware and yes, I can admit I'm older than Dez Bryant's mother. But magic seems to happen at the GA Dome. Falcons get a "W" in the last few seconds of the game.


For the record, the best thing about the USC-Oregon game is that it's a) sponsored by Reese's peanut butter cups and b)it gives me an opportunity to work on my various duck references for future games. I have to waddle through all of these ideas.  Next up? An election blog on Monday..Be there or be square.

Picks

I will go ahead and admit I'm not 100% myself (maybe 60%-thanks food poisoning), but I have an obligation to make incorrect picks for my raving fans. I could talk about Sandy and the upcoming election, but I will keep it light. Hopefully, you didn't give out all the good Halloween candy and kept the Skittles for yourself.  I would also like to say I'm a bit loopy, so the humor will be discounted.

Btw, did anyone see the Chiefs last night? They should just fold up and call it a year. They garner an A+ for bad.While writing this, my husband is watching an uplifting episode of "Monsters Inside Me." We are sparkly, "Shiny Happy People" in this house.

Alabama at LSU-This gets the winner winner chicken dinner game of the week. Alabama has quietly taken care of business while LSU has a sketchy offense-meaning, they have a difficult time scoring TDs. Generally, I say never go against Les Miles. But enter Nick Saban, and you definitely don't go against him. The crowd will be rowdy in Bobby Bouchet land, but I look for the Tide to stay perfect.

Oregon at USC-Is this the week we find out if the Ducks are all they are quacked up to be? Probably not. 12 year old Lane Kiffin heads up a Trojan team that has underperformed. Remember when Matt Barkley was going to win the Heisman? Yeah, he's not.  This is the PAC 10 or PAC 20 or whatever they are calling themselves now, so this could be a high scoring, no D kind of game. However, USC won't ruffle their feathers. Chip Kelly and the quack attack gets the W.

Oklahoma State at Kansas State- I said I couldn't buy K State last week because there was something off about them. Guess I have to change that line of thinking because their remaining schedule definitely favors them going undefeated. The Cowboys won't knock them off.. K State

Pittsburgh at ND-Mmmmmm. I'm not sold on Notre Dame, but I admit their defense is nice. Pittsburgh lost to Youngstown State and I haven't forgotten that. Some peeps like Pitt in an upset. I cannot with any kind of conscience pick a team that lost to Youngstown State to beat an undefeated team this late in the season. Golden domers.

Texas A&M vs Mississippi State-This one is tough. The Bulldogs got drummed by Bama last week while the Aggies look like a nice addition to the SEC. The Bulldogs in a squeaker

Ole Miss at UGA-UGA surprised me by winning against the Gators last week. Elmer's alma mater isn't bad, but the Dawgs get the W.

*****Game of the Week********

GT at Maryland-What you say? Why on earth is this the game of the week? The Terps have lost their 4 scholarship QBs and are starting a linebacker at QB. He is backed up by a walk on tight end. This has all the makings of "Remember the Titans", right? GT has had a baaaaaad season with the high lowlight being losing to Middle TN State. At home. By 21. GT should win this one right? I mean a LB at QB? I'm torn. I'll take the Terps in the ultimate squeaker.

College Picks

What it is???I just saw a fantastic 30 for 30 on ESPN about Benji Wilson. I didn't know that story and although sad, it was a very insightful piece. On another note, many people are saying they feel cheated by Lance Armstrong and are dogging his Live Strong Foundation. Seriously? I don't mean to be demeaning but it only required about 3-5 brain cells to see that dude probably wasn't clean. And this was years ago! I mean, they can't find a cyclist who didn't use...period. Apparently the only clean competitive cyclists ride a Dora the Explorer tricycle. If you were one of those peeps who were shocked and floored by the allegations and sworn testimony of everyone but his mother, then you are probably believe that Demi Moore hasn't had plastic surgery, there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and have a Big Foot sighting at least once a week. Yes, I'm sure Big Foot likes the ice at QT when he fills his vehicle up with gas. Again, the entire sport has a dark, positive drug test over it, but it doesn't mean these guys aren't talented athletes and Armstrong overcame stage 4 cancer. His foundation has done a ton of great things and given many hope and inspiration. And that peeps is a good thing (even though I don't like Lance Armstrong and have always found him highly obnoxious, but it doesn't matter what I think). Get over yourselves and your "disappointment." I'm disappointed that I didn't go to work for CNN when I had the chance, wore knickers in the 5th grade (a fashion trend I should have avoided) and should have gone out with that pro baseball player that asked when I was in my early 20s. Why not? Now I realize I should eat more broccoli and watch my caffeine intake. Couldva, shoulda, woulda.....It's all part of life.  Enough said.

I'm posting a little early because I'm going out of town, but let me talk about myself in 3rd person for a moment so I can sound pretentious. Tara only missed 1 college game and 1 pro game. Take that paid prognosticators. Pro picks up later, but did you see the hit Suh put on Cutler? Shazaam! Kristen Cavalleri thought she was going to have to put up a match.com profile that said "Need new paycheck." Bada Bing!

Here we go...................

Ole Miss at Arkansas-Look at the Hogs! They now have a couple of victories under their belt and look like a juggernaut compared to Auburn. Eli's alma mater is trying to move in the right direction but I think the Hogs win a squeaker.

Texas Tech at Kansas State-Kansas State was my lone loss last week. Bill Snyder (I think that's the coach) has done a great job in quietly leading his team to an undefeated record. So why am I not sold? Is is because the school is in Manhattan and it's the polar opposite of the, ahem, real Manhattan? Texas Tech likes to play the spoiler so I have to go with an upset....The Tubbervilles in an upset. (I'm probably massively wrong on this)

Notre Dame at Oklahoma-If I had to guess, the BCS is on the verge of tears because the Irish are undefeated. Most of their wins are ugly, but hey, a w is a w. Ask Georgia. The Sooners have one loss to the Wildcats of K-State, but are a good home team. Luck of the Irish runs out this week. Boomer sooner!

Mississippi State at Bama-It's the other bulldogs (really cute mascot) strolling into Tuscaloosa. Both teams are undefeated and both have had some fluff opponents. Again a win is a win. Unfortunately, one team's luck runs out and that team is..........M State. Bama gets another victory.

Ohio State at Penn State-I think OSU could go undefeated, but it won't matter because they are on triple public probation and can't even go to the Mr. Clean Toilet Bowl. All this over some tattoos-well maybe some other stuff. I'm sure the prognosticators want Penn State to win, but I will stick with Urban's posse. Buckeyes in a close crazy one.

Oregon State at Washington-I know. I know. I should be buying Oregon State, but I'm not completely sold. It's like they are they pretzel m&m when it was still being tested in certain markets. I like it, but I'm not sure. For the record, Washington doesn't blow me away but you have to pick upsets from time to time. Huskies

Michigan at Nebraska-Thank goodness I missed all of the Michigan vs Michigan State game as it looked awful. Allegedly, Michigan is expected to win the Big 10 (with however many teams they have now) since Ohio State can't. This will be played amongst the cornfields so I say Huskers.

Michigan State at Wisconsin-Pass the ambien as this should put every one to sleep. Badgers in the ultimate snooze fest.

Tennessee at South Carolina-Darth is mad and the Gamecocks will take it out on Dooley and the Vols. No rocky top this week. SC

****Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*********

Did you see UGA vs KY last week? It was ugly but the Dawgs escaped with a win. Will Muschamp has the Gators undefeated so now he faces his alma mater. Last week, Aaron Murray didn't turn the ball over a single time so I hope he isn't saving up for this week. My dad says he doesn't understand how any defensive player for UGA can be hurt because you need to tackle someone to sustain an injury during the game. Oh Dad!! Not always, but an interesting observation. I should be an optimist and say UGA gets a win (and I hope that happens), but realism prevails and I think Florida will hang at least 38 on the D. Some of it courtesy of the O. Sadly, I expect the Gators to win. Phooey!

And here's my celebrity snippet for the day. This band is defunct, but had a very talented lead singer who also happens to be a kick ass Scattergories and Cranium player. This was one of their best songs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw3dFPQq_hI

I was that lady today and pro picks....

It was a big day at the pumpkin patch and corn maze today. Where are Linus and Sally when you need them? I had my 2 youngest kids and today I was THAT lady. You know the one when you go out in public and you say to yourself, "what is wrong with that woman and her kids?"  Yes, that was me today. No, Lambchop. You can't drive the tractor. No Lambchop. You can't get in the pen with the horses.  No Lambchop. You can't play with the carving knife.  It was like the last time I took all 3 kids out to dinner. The staff was gushing about how funny and cute they were....until they all 3 spilled their drink at different times. And I just said to hand me the mop the 3rd time. They were waving and smiling as we said goodbye, and I could see the look of relief and  genuine happiness in their eyes as we said thank you and left.

I feel that I am 2 legit 2 quit this week which means I will miss every game. I just looked at the schedule and these are some tough games to pick....

Tennessee at Buffalo-I think both of these guys won last week. Hasselback vs Fitzpatrick. I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat. Mmmmm. I don't think either of these teams are very good so I will go for what I assume is an upset and say "Titans on 3." Where is Coach Herman Boone when you need him?

Dallas at Carolina-Jason Garrett was trying to explain why his Princeton education wasn't sufficient in understanding time management at the end of the game last week. He was sure that it was going to be Professor Plumb with the candlestick in the conservatory and it wasn't.  Mwak, mwak, mwak, mwak. Carolina is streaky to say the least but I like the ESPN commercial courtesy of Cam. Gosh. Yes, I think it's time for Dallas to win. Romo dodged a bullet with Jessica Simpson and her freak of a dad, and he dodges another one this week.

Baltimore at Houston-The Ravens team was decimated with injuries last week. They will literally have to call Bobby Bouchet and some people from "The Replacements" to suit up on D. Houston laid a big old egg against GB last week, but that was expected. I guess I have to say the Texans win one in honor of Big Tex.

Washington at the Giants-2 QBS who did really well on the Wonderlic. The Giants are 5-5 in the last 10 home games and RG3 is having a great year. But it's so difficult to pull against Elmer. He is the glue (I just love that analogy) that holds the team together. Giants

NO at Tampa Bay-Both of these teams are terrible, but Drew Brees is the shizzle. This is a super low confidence pick. Actually, most of my picks are super low confidence. Saints?

Jets at the Patriots-The Patriots are really messing me up by losing this year. Both teams have QBs that have appeared in GQ, but I think one has a much stronger work ethic than the other. Hold on to your hymnals as they say Tebow will make a guest appearance. I think he is a better match with Samantha Steele than Christian Ponder. Ponder has that Andy Roddick crazy eye. I digress. Patriots. I mean really.....

Jacksonville at Oakland-Since the Chiefs are off this week, this is this week's corporal punishment for the viewers game. Jags have no offense except for Maurice Jones Drew and the Raiders looked good against the Falcons last week. But when you can't seal the deal that is a blatant faux pas. The Rayduhs

Pitt at Cincy-Big division game. Cincy gave the Browns their first win while the Steelers just look baaaaaaad. I like AJ Green and the Bungles to get a win.

Detroit at Chicago-No need to turn this game on until late in the 4th quarter. Detroit won't score until then and Jay Cutler actually gave an interview saying he wished people had something nice to say. Stafford and Cutler used to face off in college, but the Bears are the better team. Paris Hilton's ex boyfriend's team gets a victory which is better than a prescription for Valtrex.

I leave you with a song I completely forgot about until I heard it on a commercial during the UGA game. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyp1tyQ5s1A You do know that Siobhan of Bananarama is married to Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics and that Karyn of B-rama is married to Andrew Ridgely of Wham? Yeah, deep thoughts and just a single degree of separation amongst some 80s bands.  Love the boots in the video!!

College Picks

Happy Friday eve!  My 2 year old announced in a store the other day that he "loves boobies." I'm not sure what brought this on but perhaps he heard me discussing bras. Mmmm. I didn't know what to say to that. I just took the smile and nod approach. Isn't that better than saying "I like to eat poop?" Everything is so relative with little peeps.

I've also decided that it may be time to retire the pineapple. That is what it's called when I pull my hair on top of my head with either a clip or pony tail holder. I have been wearing my hair that way for 20 years and in addition to the permanent indention I have in my head and the cost effective, temporary facelift it provides, people look at you like you are insane when your hair is like that. They are talking to you and staring at the top of your head. Hello! It makes me taller. I have even passed the tradition on to my daughter. Lucky her. Every few years, I will see that this  pineapple "look" is  a hit on the runways in Milan and Paris and it makes me feel so revolutionary , like I invented it. Right. Unless entering Target is considered walking the catwalk, that comparison is rather meaningless. Oh, and  I'm delighted that it's October. This means at any time you can find "Children of the Corn", "Saws1 thru 24" and "Halloween-Michael Myers is an Evil Bitch That Won't Die Even  After Being Hit by a Train During a Nuclear Explosion"  on television.  However, the Halloween theme song is pure genius. If I was a figure skater, I would skate to that in the long program.

Let's see who is up this week...

Speaking of costumes, Darth Visor pays a visit to the Swamp to play Will Muschamp and the Gators. Allegedly, Marcus Lattimore won't play and the Gamecocks fizzled out (just as I said) against LSU. I hate to say it but I have to go with the Gators. Chomp.

Kansas State at WVU-This should be high scoring even though the Mountaineers were silenced by the fighting Tommy Tubervilles.  These 2 teams bore me, but I expect the Mountaineers to bounce back at home in a close one. This means they will actually go out and throw up on the field to spite me. Mountaineers

LSU at Texas A&M- A&M is definitely a more competitive addition than Mizzou and their hideous uniforms. A&M is good at home, but I have a difficult time picking against LSU. I will say Les is more.

Michigan State at Michigan-It's a meeting of mediocre and mediocre state. Both of these teams have underwhelmed and the winner will set a couch on fire (yes, that will happen in Morgantown too because nothing says "good times" like burning a sectional." Denard Robinson was supposed to be a Heisman contender but this sentence is as close as he will get to the Heisman. Michigan? I sound confident don't I?

Alabama at TN-There has not been much playing of "Rocky Top" in Knoxville this year, and I doubt the extended dance mix version will be played this weekend either. Poor Derek Dooley had hip surgery and something tells me he is short for the orange world. Perhaps they are making way for Bobby Petrino and his moped? If Bobby isn't available, it sounds like Lance Armstrong may be seeking new opportunities. AJ McCarran and the Tide crack this one open in the 2nd half and roll.

Boston College at GT-Here is the fuzzy Bees chance to save a little face after losing to Middle TN state earlier in the year. You have Boston College coming to town who just lost to Army, who lost to Stony Brook. Riiiiiiiight. GT gets a much needed "W."

Auburn at Vandy-I'm going to wager a guess and say that Gene Chizik feels like he is sitting on a George Foreman grill. If I'm remembering correctly, they beat UL-Monroe in OT and that's all folks.(Subtle shout out to the icon known as Porky Pig).  A kind word or two about Auburn. It's a gorgeous campus with some nice peeps.  I was there when I was 7 months pregnant with my last son. I was literally overwhelmed with how polite these college kids were. Either I reminded them of their mother or it was the boobs. Couldn't have been the boobs because these kids get plastic surgery for their 16th birthday now.  Regardless, I (aka known as Grimace) was treated with kindness. Vandy has looked good in most of their games and the winner is.....Jay Cutler's alma mater.

And my winner, winner chicken dinner game of the week is UGA vs Kentucky. Joker Phillips is probably feeling anything but festive with 1 win under his belt. Something tells me he will be able to have coffee with Derek Dooley soon. UGA is coming off a bye, and I hope the defense stops thinking about how they will be playing with the Bengals next year. May be close in the beginning, but Aaron "Andy" Murray and the Dawgs will get it together. I'm committing to the G on this one. Go Dawgs!

NFL Picks

After giving everyone a reprieve from my pro picks last week, I feel like I'm ready this week. I'm just thankful that I didn't see the pic allegedly tweeted out of Justin Bieber naked. I just don't like the idea of that image seared in my retinas.Why do celebrities pose in front of a mirror with their i-phone and then, ahem, accidentally tweet out a nude photo? Yes, I know....someone hacked their account and took their phone will they were getting plastic surgery. And what is exactly are the South Carolina Gamecocks wearing? It looks like my 9 year old's pjs.  Anyway.....

Oakland at Atlanta-This is my lock of the week. Have you seen the rest of the Falcons schedule? If they don't go AT LEAST 13-3, then they will never have a record like that. The rest of the division is horrible and could be defeated by a team consisting of my 3 kids with my dog at QB. The Raiders are less wacky since the passing of Al Davis and they are also having an even more difficult time coughing up a win. Falcons get a big win before the bye.

Giants vs the 49ers-This should be a great game. That automatically means it will be a blowout since logic indicates this should be a good one. Elmer and Alex Smith aren't even in the same stratosphere as far as QBs go, but Alex Smith is surrounded by a really good team. So is Elmer, but Elmer is the glue of the team. HA! 49ers get the win.

 Dallas at Baltimore-It's about time for Dallas to win, right? Maybe not yet. Flacco and the Ravens don't put tons of points on the board, but if Romo tosses a couple of balls Ed Reed's way it could help. I think this is a close one, but I like the Ravens at home.

Indy at the Jets-A girl I used to work with said to me that "you have to admit Andrew Luck is cute." What? I'm not into the Andre the Giant look but he seems like a nice boy. That's all I'm willing to concede. That and Rex Ryan has really nice veneers. When you get paid the big money, you can get the lap band to lose the chub and get some phat teeth. Jets are a disaster, but I expect them to squeak out a W in this game.

Detroit at Philly- A Bulldog I like on each team (Stafford for the Lions and Boykin for the Eagles). The big news this week is that Michael Vick adopted a dog and the name of the dog is Fumbles. How apropos! The Lions have no running game and the secondary is like a colander. Is it me or does DeSean Jackson seem like a whiny biyatch? We are all something I suppose. Eagles

KC at Tampa Bay-This is the game that will be shown to those in solitary confinement. It will be more exciting and less painful to get a root canal with no anesthetic than to watch this debacle. This is very difficult. I like Matt Cassel and his concussion to squeak out a win.

NE at Seattle-I will give Seattle credit. Their defense is nice lead by Irvin who has already done some time. Hopefully for his sake, he stays on the right track. The Patriots rolled up over 6 hundy yards last week (I think it was last week.)  I'll take the Brady Bunch.

GB at Houston-GB has looked a bit uneven but I do like the new SF commercial with Aaron Rodgers in the classroom. Houston is undefeated and looks pretty good. However, are they really a Super Bowl contender? Mmmmm. The Packers are desperate and I think they knock of the Texans. This is based on nothing but it's about time for the Texans to lose.

Minnesota at Washington-I know...I know. Everyone says the Vikings are for really and Percy Harbins is 2 legit to quit. Love RG3.  This one is very difficult. I'll take the Redskins in a close one.

Buffalo at AZ-This is the backup game to KC at TB to be shown to those worthy of punishment. Cards have a nice D and Buffalo should be excited to leave Buffalo. Cards

I have to do well at least one week....right? XO

College Picks and Can a Sweatshirt Cause a Team to Lose?

Yeah, yeah, yeah....I think I missed all but 1 game last week. But I have to confess, sometimes I pick who I want to win and I can no longer do that. Just like eating Skittles when no one sees me...The calories still count. First, let me check to see who is playing. Oh, and as I have the Steelers and Titans on in the background, does anyone else think Big Ben could play the lead in "Big Foot-The Movie?"

Oklahoma vs Texas-This is known as the Red River shootout but I think of it as the game with a giant ferris wheel and players named Colton and Ranger. Oklahoma has already dropped one and Texas lost to West Virginia last week. I'm going to guess Mack Brown & company are a little flat. Sooners

Stanford at Notre Dame- Did you feel that? The earth just moved. No, Mark Mangini didn't just make an entrance but Notre Dame is undefeated and all is right in prognosticator land. The birds are singing and there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in South Bend. Stanford lost earlier this year to Washington which is perfectly acceptably unacceptable but Huskies are really cute. If Notre Dame wins this one, Reece Davis and Mark May will  be required to wear a raincoat and goggles for the remainder of the year because Lou Holtz will be spitting with glee. I'm ready for Notre Dame to lose but I think they squeak past Stanford. Poop.

South Carolina at LSU- Did you see the Gamecocks last week? They laid the smackdown on my Dawgs and I know why.  I blame the sweatshirt pictured above.I put this sweatshirt on at kick off and BAM! Aaron Murray channeled Mark Sanchez and the party was over before it got started. The UGA defense looked as if they thought this was flag football.  (As you can tell, I have not had rhinoplasty but I'm willing to be some surgeon's Priscilla Presley.) LSU lost to the Gators last week because LSU is missing something. It's called an offense and you need one to score an occasional point. However, I have no idea why I think this, but I think LSU pours the purple drank Saturday night and eek out a victory.

WVU at Texas Tech-This is one thing I am confident about in regards to this game. It should be high scoring and defense will just be a word that people use in a sentence. However, no demonstration will occur. Mountaineers over the Tuberville in a shootout.

Alabama at Mizzou-The hazing of Mizzou in the SEC continues as the Tide come back crisp after an off week. Tide roll....

Tennessee at Mississippi State-Derek Dooley needs a big win. Poor guy looks like he hasn't eaten since 2007. Dan Mullen has very quietly put together a solid poser Bulldog team. The other Bulldogs get a W.

North Carolina at Miami-Mmmmmmm. Canes?

Duke at VT-Wow...Who would have thought that Duke would be one of the most impressive teams in the ACC thus far. Remember, VT lost to Pitt after losing to YOUNGSTOWN ST. And VT lost badly. However, I can't in good conscience at this point in the season pick Duke to win a football game. Hokey Pokey baby!

Wisconsin at Purdue-BORING! It would be more exciting to watch someone sneeze. The last time Purdue was good a guy with the last name Brees played. Badgers

Oregon St at BYU-Oregon State is ranked number 10? Really?  The pollsters have been hitting the vodka. Well this week the Beavers take on guys old enough to be their fathers. I'm kidding. BYU in an upset.


I should be watching the debate so I can be an informed citizen, right?  I am informed. UGA has a bye and Demi Moore is sad about Ashton and Mila. You know politics and religion are not discussed on my blog. Happy birthday to Bo the first dog! I leave you with the only Peter Gabriel song I like....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fF8wU4Nl9Y  Remember when he dated Rosanna Arquette?

XO