The Week in News

What a week of strange news stories? I have so much to say on these, but again, I try to keep it PG and I don't want to offend peeps.  I mean, even Elmo can't escape the sex scandals. I wonder if this scandalous pic is his e-harmony profile pic? Poor guy-I mean muppet. I feel that Snufflelufugus or perhaps the Count was behind this seeing that timing is so close to the holidays. I'm sure there is some jealousy with there being a "Tickle Me Elmo" or a "Rock and Roll Elmo." Where is the "Sneezing Snufflelufugus" or "Oscillating Oscar" doll? Right. Favoritism. I hope Elmo doesn't have to go on "Intervention."

Did you hear about Hope Solo? I have always contended that Hope had less than 10 brain cells, but this recent story confirms that I was being far too generous with that assessment.http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/soccer/2012/11/14/hope-solo-fiance-assault-case-police-investigation/1705211/  Allegedly, Hope has been dating Jerramy (had to check the spelling) Stevens (formerly of the Seahawks) for 8 weeks. He has some prior arrests, but apparently a man with a record is attractive. They got engaged and to celebrate, assault charges were filed. There is absolutely nothing funny about abuse of any kind, but they got married. Did they wear matching orange jumpsuits to commemorate this event? Something tells me a visit to Dr. Phil is in order for this pair and I doubt the thank you notes for wedding gifts will be written before divorce proceedings begin. But what do I know? Congrats, I suppose.

"All In" an epic an colossal cluster

Speaking of men with a record, I'm sure everyone has heard of this Petraeus scandal.I am absolutely fascinated by this story. It's like "Days of Our Lives in the Military" or "Top Secret Love Connection." So this Broadwell chickadee writes a "glowing" biography about getting to know the decorated General David Petraeus. Little did we know she got to know him in the biblical sense. But that wasn't enough. Allegedly, she got all snippy when Jill Kelley was all giddy around Gen Petraeus. I hope Petraeus has a vanity plate that reads 'PLAYAHATA." Apparently this guy is the shizzle. Perhaps the folks at People magazine got it wrong and should have named him "Sexiest Man Alive?" And what was "socialite" Jill Kelly (careful when you google as ANOTHER Jill Kelley is a porn star) thinking? Because allegedly, she was receiving shirtless photos of another FBI agent described as a "gag". Let me go on record, that if I was sending topless photos of myself, it wouldn't be described as a gag but rather people making people gag. This story is slowly unfolding, but Petraeus supposedly hoped the story wouldn't become public..Join the club with.....

The Waffle House CEO???  http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/waffle-house-ceo-responds-directly-to-sexual-haras/nS5wN/  Hello? This guy claims he is a victim of his own stupidity. I like that statement. This story actually makes me throw up in my mouth when I read it, but I can't help but wonder if the Waffle House song was playing in the background during these encounters? This will probably be one of those stories where a statement is released where the accused says something to the affect of, "This incident has brought my wife and I closer to the Lord and strengthened our union." Watch.  Did I ever mention the time I took my kids to the Waffle House and someone left their teeth in the restroom? They are easy to forget and are frequently seen on "lost" posters.

If a strike isn't resolved we may be saying au revoir to 
Personally, I think Twinkies are disgusting but I've heard the deep fried variety are better. Why is this guy riding a twinkie? The countdown is on to see if the Twink can be salvaged.

And finally, one of my former top 5 ers (yes, it is completely juvenile but we used to have a top 5 list among some friends. One used to update his power point presentation each week but #1 was always Parker Posey and #2 was always Barbra  Streisand. No, I'm not making that up. It was the way we were.) was in the news.  You can tell a great deal about a person by reviewing their top 5 list. I guess congrats are in order to former tennis player, James Blake (swoon!!!). He got married this week (I'm not sending a gift) and I'm assuming it's because he finally realized we weren't going to be. Here he is before he donated his hair and with his dog.....Pass the drool cup.



Football picks tomorrow. Woof!