The Week In News

Like a bad case of the flu, you've missed me haven't you? When you look at the headlines in the news, it's incredibly depressing which is why I prefer celebrities for fodder.  For the record, many of these things are sad, but well I'm just putting my spin on the situation. There is so much to discuss....

First off, another bad week in Elmo's world. Apparently, a 3rd individual has come forward to accuse Elmo of some scandalous behaviour (that spelling is a salute to my British posse'). I wonder if Elmo is able to talk to his gold fish, Dorothy, about this? Was the Count behind this? Bert & Ernie? I can absolutely see them being envious of Elmo's break out stardom. I bet Elmo is sitting in a dark room eating the marshmallows out of a box of Lucky Charms while listening to "Bridge Over Troubled Water." Sigh.......http://todayentertainment.today.com/_news/2012/11/27/15486793-ex-elmo-puppeteer-faces-new-allegation-of-sex-with-minor?lite

In other news, Bobbi Kristina, the daughter of the late Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, called off her engagement to her stepbrother. That's her prerogative (not to be confused with a pirogi) but I thought that one had longevity. Unfortunately, Bobbi Kristina inherited the gap between her teeth, similar to her father's. That probably came in during milk spitting contests. In true fashion, this drama will all unfold on their reality show which I had no idea existed. Looks like there is no need for anyone to purchase them an air brushed t-shirt that says "2Gether4Ever" http://todayentertainment.today.com/_news/2012/11/28/15521726-bobbi-kristina-and-fiance-reportedly-end-engagement?lite

Nothing says "pass the turkey" like a nice fist fight in front of your kid. The father of Halle Berry's kid, who is named after something in "The Lion King", and her new French boyfriend got into a physical altercation when either picking up or dropping off the kid. Nice!  Halle has suspect taste in men, ay? Looks like the pumpkin was beat out of her former sweetie pie. http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/28/gabriel-halle-olivier-martinez-halle-berry-police-report-instigator-fight/

Here's one. Jason Patric apparently dated this lady with the strange boobs for several years, but offered his sperm as a break up gift. Do they have a Hallmark card that goes along with this? Can Zales give you a necklace called "The Sperminated Pendant"? Check it out http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/28/jason-patric-custody-war-sperm-custody-ex-girlfriend-son/?adid=hero2

 Hanukkah and Christmas are just around the corner and perhaps you don't know what to get that special guy in your life. Well, here is the answer. Nothing says, "You are special" like a tank top with nipple cutouts. Yes, I just said the word nipple.   Here is the clean, main stream link (the hilarious made me laugh so hard I cried version is at www.dlisted.com but don't go there on a work related computer) to  a story about Yoko Ono's new clothing line. I know many of your are wondering how you can get a pair of pants with hands painted on the crotch area, so Opening Ceremony has an entire line of Yoko's masterpieces to help you. http://www.accessatlanta.com/ap/ap/entertainment/oh-yoko-onos-fashion-line-gropes-for-lennon/nTHmw/?icid=buzzlink Finally, we all know where  to get a jockstrap with a LED light. Thanks Yoko for helping guys fill their wardrobe with new basics.

Holla!