Is it really almost 2013????

 What's up peeps? Just like my bowl picks, the Mayans got it wrong. Still here and watching Sunday Night Football with my wacky husband.  I had to take a reprieve from blogging for a while even though I freaking love to write and could write every day several times a day. If you know me, you know I try not to complain but as we come to the end of 2012 and perhaps it's  all this hoopla about the "fiscal cliff" (I do like me a cliff bar but alas this just isn't the same!), I realized something a few weeks ago. I do occasionally have moments of clarity along with spirited discussions with my husband regarding our world in general.  I am so OVER people who talk incessantly about themselves and somehow try to trace anything and everything that happens in the world back to their life. I don't mean people who can relate to something that happened. I mean those folks who actually think the entire world and everyone's life revolves around them. Harsh of me to say. I know, I know. It sounds like I am talking about myself, but it is my blog. As a result of being at my capacity for self absorption (is that a word? maybe I need to crack out my sham wow products to make a point...) I have tried not to read many posts and had major filters on my viewing. Stepping off soap box and singing One Direction, thank you. Sashay!

We live in a very divided country. It sounds like I am traveling down a political path but that's not where I am going. I think it is fantastic that many people are so passionate about their beliefs ranging from husbands to the federal deficit. I get it-I do.  But I get a little nervous when people are more concerned that they are going to lose their assault rifle than making a living.  Granted, I get nervous at the sight of a plastic steak knife, but I am all for one's right to bear arms. But I am over the "me, me, me!" Now, we all have to be self centered to a certain degree for survival. However, every event and every conversation in the universe is not about you.....or ME.

If there is one thing I desperately try to instill in my kids, is that we don't judge a book by its cover. Which is good, because there are copies US Weekly and Allure so it's important for the kids to realize we just can't photoshop 5 inches on our legs in real life. Anyway, shortly after college, I moved in with a friend of mine to an interesting area. As a matter of fact, the apartment complex we lived in was referred to as being home of the "nightly knifings." I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do or be and was working at a saloon. Hilarious because I do not listen to country music. I remember this story like it was yesterday, except it wasn't. It was a long, long time ago (bye bye Miss American Pie who should not be confused with Warrant's Cherry Pie"). Anyway,  I had a table one night that made me roll my eyes which is completely juvenile (and sadly I occasionally still do it) . It was a table of 12 and they all ordered cokes, sweet teas, and 2 bowls of chili and a salad with Thousand Island dressing. That's it.  Stereotypes are terrible but they do exist (I can go on and on about the restaurant industry but I won't), and this order would generally be categorized under the "tipping in the toilet category." They were very nice and their bill was only around $40 dollars. On the way out the door, one of the gentleman thanked me for being nice and handed back the folder and told me to keep it all. I said thanks and once he left, I opened up the pad to see 2 $100 bills inside. So, that would be around a $160 tip on a $40 bill. Didn't I fell like a complete ass hat for automatically assuming someone was a certain way by the way they ordered??? Shame on me. I would love to tell you I have never had thoughts pop up about someone upon my initial meeting but that would be a complete lie. Have you done that before?  You know you have....

So as we say goodbye to 2012, I hope we embrace 2013 with enthusiasm and excitement. Gosh, some people just rolled their eyes at moi! Nothing is ever perfect (wouldn't that be fabulous if it was except we all have a different idea of perfect?) but we can try to make it better. Seriously, I had no idea that red velvet cake could be better than my mother's but I found one that was.  We can't control others, but we can control how they make us react (yes, I am reminding myself of this). I'm over the gloom and doomers. You've got one life so live it. I just feel like this entire post could be a series of t-shirts and bumper stickers.

XO

Some Bowl Picks and How Old Am I?

There is some discrepancy as to how old I am. So just like Blink 182, when December rolls around I ask "What's My Age Again?' The federal government thinks I am one age and I have other documentation saying I am another.  My mother likes to make me whatever age she feels. For example, she will greet me on the phone with "I was reading the obituary yesterday (how uplifting!) and did you know Lolly Lafsbarger? I thought you went to school with her. She was 62." What?????? I didn't spend 20 years in the first grade so no, didn't go to school with her. So, I just get to pick the age I want to be. This is one of the bonus qualities of growing up in South GA. Mass confusion and not just about what some people are saying. Does Mr. Webster have a southern dictionary because I can probably contribute some words and definitions?

According to my stats I have some new followers in Vietnam. Either that or someone is trying to steal my identity, but trust me, pick someone with more charm and charisma than yours truly. However, I would love to be on some type of naming committee for Pho restaurants. I used to pass one at my old company called "What the Pho?" which always made me laugh. I also like "Pho You", " Mo Phos", and  "Pho Get About It." Sigh...

Okay, so there are around 12 or so teams with losing records that were invited to said bowls. For these first bowls, I am not even going to check each team's record. It doesn't matter. Looks like there are some new sponsors. Where is the Self Watering Pet Dish Bowl? Without any research, here  are the picks for the first bowl games.....

Gildan New Mexico Bowl-Arizona vs Nevada  What the pho is Gildan? Let me google..http://gildanonline.com/store/  Now, perhaps everyone knew Gildan was apparel but remember I am a recluse so I rely on google to help a girl out. Gildan claims to have some super comfortable underwear so perhaps the players get a supply in their gift bag. Maybe they can tweet about it after the game and tell us. Chafe free! Gosh...I know nothing about either team except that UGA snagged their hoops coach from Nevada. Maybe he should move back? Nevada? Confidence-Lower than Mary Kate Olsen's weight

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl-Toledo vs Utah State. Seriously. Because there is nothing worse than a bowl sponsored by some washed up, has been potatoes. These folks have done it up right and gotten the famous potatoes to sponsor this shizzle.  Would the famous potato bowl have Mario Lopez at half time with the non famous potato bowl having Screech? I'll say Toledo. Confidence- Low mo pho.

San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl-BYU vs San Diego State  Ah, the credit union combo poinsettia bowl. I would have preferred the Title Maxx Ficus Tree bowl but I don't get to make those decisions. SDS? See above confidence level.

Beef O'Bradys Bowl-Ball State vs UCF-At least the bowl is in St. Petersburg (thankfully not Russia cause it's blustery this time of year) What is Beef o'Bradys? Let me check...Not impressive but they serve limeade, so that is a point of redemption. UCF?

R& L Carriers New Orleans Bowl-East Carolina vs UL Lafayette. I had no idea R&L carriers is based in Ohio. This will come in handy should I ever be able to bamboozle my way on to Jeopardy. I'm going to assume people will be there for the Hurricanes and the purple drank and not the football. UL Lafayette

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl Boise State Versus Washington-So I wonder if MAACO paints the blue turf for Boise State? Will Elvis perform at half time? I like Las Vegas for about 72 hours...Boise State.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl-Fresno State at SMU- Mahalo!. So June Jones gets to leave Dallas and come back to Hawaii where he coached for several years. I say enjoy the vacay because this bowl sounds as exciting as plain yogurt. Fresno State.

Little Caesers Bowl-Central Michigan vs Western KY. Not really a fan of Little Caesers as I would  prefer a Mellow Mushroom Bowl. Detroit is lovely in December. Bobby Petrino is the new coach for Western KY and he said his affair brought him closer to his wife. I see he's been chatting with Lindsay Lohan's publicist. Western KY

Military Bowl-I love the movie "A Few Good Men" so does that count for something? Bowling Green vs San Jose State, huh? Wow. Sounds riveting. Skip the bowl and see the sights in DC. BG? There is only one Bee Gee left. He's stayin alive.

Belk Bowl-Nasty Nati versus Duke-Holla at the Blue Devils for getting to go bowling versus just always being invited to the big dance. Yeah,  ACC football sucks but  good for them. Tommy Tuberville is saying goodbye Lubbock and hello Bearcats. Cincy

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl-Baylor vs UCLA  What? Was Oxford Pocket Protectors or Texas Instruments not interested in sponsorship? Baylor spoiled K-State's big party plans and Jim Mora Junior made a splash in West LA. I'll go with RG3's alma mater in a close one.

Snooze. This takes us thru Dec 28.....My humor is low. Fa la la la la la la la.

NFL Picks

What it is? I'm getting to bowl picks but I have to take a look at who is playing in the Kellog's Frosted Flakes cereal bowl.  In other words, I have to look at all of the teams less than .500, barely at 500 and try to make a decisive pick. Endless soup and salad with extra peppers please!


Have you heard? Darnell Dockett of the Cardinals was fined $2 hundy thousand dollars for conduct detrimental to the team. Isn't playing for the Cardinals detrimental in general? How could they get so specific? Poor dude should fine them for not having a QB.Anyway, my husband was watching the NFL flick on Barry Sanders and I bet my boy, Matthew Stafford, would make his girlfriend give her implants up to have a RB like Barry. No? Instead, he has RBs that couldn't make the practice squad at Vassar. 

Oh, and before I forget. December is my month. I start celebrating my birthday the day after Thanksgiving through Jan 1st. Doesn't it sound incredibly self centered? Why? Because I can and it's really just about the food. I'm not big on the holidays but I do like that peppermint shake at Chick Fil A, salted caramel hot chocolate, and that reindeer mix. You know. The chex mix smothered in powdered sugar which would probably be pretty tasty mixed in the peppermint shake at Chick Fil A. Did you hear that cows? Instead of eat mor chickin how about drink mor shakes?

Enough about me and on to the N-F-L (not my kids)......

St. Louis at Buffalo-So Sam Bradford is dating this model, Karlie Kloss. Do you think she picked this sweater out for him? Maybe he was trying to look more like Bert or maybe it's Ernie from "Sesame Street" 
 
Anyway, St Louis is coming off a hot victory over the 49ers while Ryan Fitzpatrick is solving the Pythagorean theorem. Gosh this is difficult.....I'm gonna say Rams.

Dallas at Bunglemania-Take heart UGA fans. You will see many of the current Dawg players in orange and black stripes next year. Former UGA players Geno Atkins and AJ Green are having fabulous years and the Cowboys are still the Cowboys. Gosh..Which Tony Romo will show up? The one that dated Carrie Underwood? Or the one that dated Jessica Simpson? Mmmmmm. Bengals (thank me later Cowboy fans because me picking the Bengals insures a Cowboy victory).

KC at Cleveland-I had no idea Trent Richardson had a kid in the 9th grade. Well, he didn't actually give birth but the mother of his 3 children has WWF connections. I'm guessing Trent will try to make this work. BQ is the QB for the Chiefs. HOT! Cleveland has to go ahead and get a back up for Wheeden as he gets his AARP membership next year. Kidding! This is difficult too. Browns? Oh, and I had no idea that former Brown's QB and "Broke" star Bernie Kosar's daughter is a porn star. Do you put that snippet in the holiday card or just not discuss?

TN at Indy-Andrew Luck needs to shave that neck hair, but he's having a good year. Colts

NYJ at Jacksonville- Here is the game that may end with a score of 3-2. Mark Sanchez hit the bench last week after throwing 3 picks and a total of 97 yards. PHAT! Who knew Greg McElroy would get a standing ovation just for leading your team to a score? I never buy Jacksonville. J-E-T-S.

Chicago at Minnesota-Congrats to Christian Ponder for getting engaged to Samantha Steele. My understanding is that she is devoutly religious so she probably won't put up with the shenanigans many professional athletes engage in so maybe he already ponder-ed that. AP is having a banner year and I think the Bears have been decimated with injuries. Vikings

Philly at TB (no, the Eagles aren't going to a tuberculosis convention). Eagles are bad. Allegedly, Andy Reid may be the next coach at Dallas. I told my husband 4 or 5 weeks ago Eagles will be lucky to win 2 more games this season. He just rolled his eyes reading that. I have a tendency to make bold proclamations that annoy him. Like when I say that Christian Bale would love me if he met me or ice cream can be dinner. I don't buy TB, but I like the Bucs to win.

Arizona at Seattle-Where is the Cardinals' offense? Probably somewhere in the 2013 draft because Larry Fitzgerald doesn't play QB. Sea Hags have some adderall issues but Paris Hilton allegedly did too. Look how she turned out. Seattle gets a W because in order to win, you have to be able to score at least once.

Detroit at GB-Detroit-the running game is a dream and the defensive secondary looks like a sieve. GB has some woes, but I look for the A-Rod who isn't have hip replacement to get a win.

Atlanta at Carolina-They miss Cam at Auburn. They haven't scored since he left. Falcons have wrapped up the division and are looking to secure the #1 seed. Panthers are awful and Ron Rivera won't be wearing Panther gear next year. Falcons in a close one.

****Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****

Houston at NE-Congrats to Tom Brady for welcoming a daughter this week. He has a 3 year old son some teams would love to talk to (see AZ Cardinals). Andre Johnson took some at risk kids Xmas shopping this week (love that story) so he's our partridge in a pear tree. Still, I like the Pats at Home. For the record, I must have missed Robert Kraft's, ahem, girlfriend. http://deadspin.com/5925018/heres-patriots-owner-bob-kraft-helping-his-girlfriend-with-some-kind-of-weird-audition  I'm sure they discuss world events like the crisis in Syria at dinner.

****Disclaimer*****
Don't believe anything I say. I'm sure these are all wrong. XO

The Week in News...Yes, I can help you lower your IQ.

Mid morning snack picture above

 Tis the season for some breaking news. First, one of the only shows I enjoy is on television. It's about a lady who weighs around 600 pounds and wants stomach reduction surgery as she is bed bound. She was told to adhere to a strict diet to get down to 525 so they could do the bariatric surgery. What happened? BAM! Girl weighed in at almost 7 hundy at the pre-op. I hate it when you gain almost a hundred pounds instead of losing it. Pass the blizzard with extra peanut butter cups and a large cheese pizza from Mellow Mushroom, please.   Second, I heard that Charlie Strong is the top candidate for the University of Tennessee head coaching job. I know one thing.  If he is hired, the Vols will be strong-er than yesterday. Take it away Britney...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJWtLf4-WWs

Did everyone hear that Prince Harry is going to be an Uncle? Do you think Wills & Kate will register at Target or Babies R Us? Or would it be Lads R US over the pond?  The media will begin speculating and commenting on  her weight which always is an ass load of fun for most females-even a Princess. Everyone will have something to offer. Just ask Snooki as she is ready to dispense parenting advice to the royal couple. I guess Antonio Cromartie wasn't available.  http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20653317,00.html I didn't read the article but I feel pretty confident that Snooki won't be co-writing any parenting books with Dr. Sears. Maybe she can put something together with Mr. Boston. Congrats Wills & Kate!

I know this doesn't technically qualify as news but apparently Lindsay Lohan is "out of control." You don't say? According to this article, http://www.people.com/people/news/category/0,,20152666,00.html she was causing a scene (her lips alone could cause a scene)  and ordered some chick to empty her pockets. Isn't that robbery? She also allegedly punched a psychic, Tiffany Mitchell, in the face. Didn't you see that coming Tiff?I mean, geez. You are supposed to be psychic. Are most psychics orange?
Anyway, I hope the Lohan family pulls together to purchase this new design courtesy of the Olsen twins. It's $55k and made of alligator (which totally bites) and prescription pills. 
There is nothing like a bag with some Oxy. It's the gift that keeps on giving so this should be on LiLo's X-mas list.  You know that at Christmas dinner, Lindsay will sit down to a meal of Marlboros and ambrosia and start to think about what 2012 was like. As Dina passes the wine around, Lindsay will begin to gnaw the pills off her bag in a moment of weakness. Dina will try to stop her and encourage her to save some for her. Family bonding.

The Olympic Committee needs a new hobby. They stripped 4 athletes of their metals from the 2004 games. Yawn. http://msn.foxsports.com/olympics/story/ioc-strips-medals-from-four-2004-athens-olympics-winners-120512  The Olympics remind me of the Tour de France minus the yellow shirts. Moving on....

Taylor Swift is dating one of those guys from One Direction. Isn't it horrible to date a guy with better hair than you? I wonder if he tells her that she lights up his world like nobody else and the way the she flips her hair gets him overwhelmed? No?

Ah Demi Moore. Rumor has it that she is dating daughter Rumor's best friend, Vito Schnabel. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20652174,00.html  Lovely. Allegedly they were grinding and playing tonsil hockey at some event. Did you hear that Olympic committee? Test their pee and see what you find. I'm sorry I missed that.  He's 26 so I'm sure he is anxious to become a step dad to his best friend. Whatever makes you happy.

Bowl game picks coming. I love any bowl named after food or tax deductions. XO