College Picks

BIG CALF BOOT COMPANY

Gosh, I have so much more to say about recent events in the media, but I am holding off until after I make my picks. Moooo-ve over. I've decided to launch my own boot company called ...(see above). Apparently, us freakishly large calved (is that a word????) people have to take it upon ourselves to create boots that fit comfortably over our calves. There is also a misconception that only people who have to be physically removed from their homes courtesy of the fire department on a TLC special have large calves. Hello! I'm mobile (thankfully:). I'm totally normal (that's such a relative term), single digit sized. However, my calves are not. Speaking of those home bound people due to morbid obesity, I'm always fascinated how they got to that point. Was it one of those Pizza Hut 2 medium pizzas for $10 specials that pushed them over the edge? Did someone come over and say, "would you like some m&ms?" and then BAM!!! You are then eating 2 dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, and a loaf of toast slathered in country crock spread for breakfast prior to your mid morning snack of 2 Big Macs, 2 large fries and a Diet Coke. Oh I know it's a disease and it's horrible, but I can't help but wonder what the tipping point is. It is very sad, but fascinating to read about those scenarios.  Me? I would absolutely love to hole up in the closet and eat a bag of jelly beans and chase it with a large margarita. Salt please, to ensure the fact that I would feel extra bloated.

Getting close to end of college football's regular season and you have to be feeling a bit perturbed if you are Urban Meyer. You are probably going to go undefeated, further solidifying your strong hold of the Big 10, but alas, you are on triple public probation.You will be eating Skyline Chili in Columbus in January instead of going to some glitzy destination like Miami or Pasadena.

USC vs UCLA-This is also being billed as the battle of LA which should not be confused with the Crips vs Bloods. You have Lane Kiffin who looks like he is in the 8th grade and Jim Mora Jr. who gets ultra defensive in interviews where people don't kiss his booty. This is a no-brainer. Lane Kiffin doesn't bother me. Big deal that he's a used car salesman. That Yugo isn't really a Mercedes. I'll take the Trojans.

Stanford at Oregon- Cardinals vs Aquatic birds. Will feathers fly in this match up of the PAC 12 (I think that is the number now)? Is it sink or swim time for the quack attack? I can think of sooooo many inappropriate but funny signs the Stanford student body could make up for this game.  The Ducks are now the #1 team after Alabama lost to Texas A&M. I've only seen snippets of Stanford and they don't look overly impressive. Oregon can put big digits but they also give up big digits. Still, I look for Donald, Daisy and Howard  to get the win.

Oklahoma at WV-Remember when Geno Smith was going to win the Heisman and the Mountaineers were going to the BCS Championship game? Yeah, they remember that week too. However, in the words of Soul 11 Soul, "Back to life. Back to reality." I should also point out that I thought the line of this song that said "However do you need it" was saying "I wanna be anemic." I thought that was odd, but I'm no musician so there could have been hidden meaning. Geez. I digress. The Sooners have performed (choking) as expected while WV continues to spiral downward. Maybe they burned one too many couches during the celebrations? Typically, I like the Mountaineers at home with everyone being related in the stands. A big family affair. However, I say boomer sooner prevails.

FSU vs MD-What ensembles will the Terps roll out this week? Jimbo Fisher is whining that his team can't get in the Championship game because they are ranked 10th in the BCS with one loss. Here, let me solve this problem, Jimbo. You should have beaten freaking NC State. MD is terrible with one of the cheerleaders soon to be lining up at QB. Noles.

Alabama A&M at Auburn-Do you think Gene Chizik is including his forwarding address with his holiday cards this year? Could this be win number trois for Auburn? I say "fo sho."

Arkansas at MS State-Will Bobby Petrino end up back at Arkansas? Has he served a year of penance after a debacle with a 26 yr old former coed who he convinced he had swagger when he bought her some Twizzlers? This led to that famed motorcycle ride and the rest is history. I think girl should have a least held out for some Toblerone. Woo Pig Sooey continues the coaching search and the OTHER Bulldogs get a W.



Northwestern vs Michigan State-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Oh I suppose I will take the Wildcats.

UGA vs GA Southern-From time to time, I like to think I have a good idea. Long story short-when I was at UGA, I wanted to write a book called, "The UGA Man-Pick of the Litter." There is much hidden humor behind this. UGA has a much better record than I thought they would. I thought they would be 8-4. This is a winner, winner, chicken dinner security system lock of the week. Dawgs get a big "W" before they squash the fuzzy bees...


If you know me, you know I am a crazy devoted UGA fan. I watch them play hoops, baseball, gymnastics, anything. I also have a terribly warped sense of humor. When I saw this commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-H5Wy8TH9s, I knew what they were going for. However, after the "You can leave, but it never leaves you" segment, the first thing I said was, "I bet that was written by someone who contracted an STD while in college."

Rock on....