You missed me last week, right? On a celebrity sleaze note, I read that Michael Lohan was charged with acting like a Lohan. I just realized his current girlfriend, Kate Major, launched Jon Gosselin for him. Obviously she has MAJORly bad taste in men....
So we have reached the point of the college football season where we know who is too legit to quit. So, without further adieu (I spoke with someone French today so I had to use that word), let's get this party started.
UGA vs Florida- Sigh...18 of the last 21 have been won by Florida. Each year when Florida is bad, the UGA fans say, "this is the year." Florida looks bad. Not Indianapolis Colts (more on them later) bad, but they just don't have swagger. UGA has rebounded after losing their first 2 games, but the teams they have beaten have a 1-15 record in conference (I think. Again, I don't have time to fact check. I rely on you guys for that!). If I pick UGA, the Gators will win. So, let's try reverse psychology. Florida has lost 3 in a row and will rebound with a squeaker. Gators 21-17.
Stanford at USC-There are several teams vying for the services of Andrew Luck next season, but he will spread his Cardinal wings and head to land of the beautiful people. Lane Kiffin has been rather quiet as of late, so I think they pull off the upset. This is based on absolutely nothing. USC 28-Stanford 24 (gotta pick the underdogs on occassion)
Cal at UCLA- Everyone thinks the PAC 10 or 12 or 14 is tres' sexy. In reality, most of the teams are horrible because losing to Sacramento State is unforgivable. However, given UCLA's propensity to get into altercations as of late, HBO might pick this game up for Saturday night boxing. Da fake Bears- 31 Bruin Blue-14
Choklahoma at Kansas St- This looks like a hoops matchup but it's really a Stoops match up. Kansas State is really 7-0? Wow. Didn't know that but I look for Big Bobby and company to stroll into the other Manhattan and hand them their first loss. 38-27
Clemson at GT-It may be time to whip out the ACC version of some purple kool aid. GT has lost 2 in a row and Clemson is enjoying the spotlight. I know, I know. Clemson actually looks good this year, but I just don't think they can seal the deal. GT in an upset....28-24. Again, this is based on absolutely nothing.
PRO GAMES
Miami at the Giants-Miami is winless unless you count having Mark Anthony and Jennifer Lopez supporting your team as a victory. Tony Sparano is probably freshening up his resume as he is most certainly short for the Dolphin world. Andrew Luck is thinking the weather is lovely in south Florida. The best thing I can say about the Dolphins is that #99 looks haute in Dolphin gear. Add another loss to the schedule. Elmer & Co 31-24
Indy at Tennessee-Who would have thought the Colts would be so horrible? I love Peyton Manning but apparently he played defense as well. Rumors are flying that the Colts will trade Manning. I hope they aren't putting the hopes and dreams of the team on Curtis Painter. Remember the Titans in this one. Titans 20 Colts 14
Dallas at Philly-Jessica Simpson's dad is simmering because Tony Romo stole some publicity from the fam by saying he is going to be a dad. Will he name him Romeo Romo? The dream team has played somewhat like a nightmare and the Cowboys are the same as they are every year. Should be close. Philly 21-20.
SD at KC-I never believe the SD hype. Every year they are allegedly going to the Super Bowl. No, they aren't going this year either. The Chefs have improved but I don't buy them either. Can I sell on both? Rivers annoys me so I am taking the Chiefs 35-31
Finally..Detroit at Denver. Is this really Tebow/Moreno versus Stafford? Maybe. Detroit had some sizzle until that near fight between Schwartz and Harbaugh. And sorry to offend the Falcon faithful, but stop yapping to the media what was said on the field. No one expects players to say "I love those shoes" or "No, you take the ball please." However, the Lions look like they may have lost their roar. Granted, the Broncos aren't exactly solid, but they may win. Broncos 17-14.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Picks!
I just had a nutritious lunch consisting of Skittle and cashews. What would the Surgeon General say? Anyway, I try to avoid all things political in my blog, but I have readers in Alaska. Sarah? Bristol? Levi? I find it hilarious that someone wanting to be president has a reality show. There... I have officially alienated everyone!!
Wow! I am still on shock that Ohio State lost to Nebraska. What an epic and total collapse that was, much like John Edwards political career (bada bing). John, if you are reading this and I know you don't, I liked you back in the day. However, it was incredibly poor judgment to have that TV interview to say you didn't have an extra child when the Enquirer showed us otherwise. Keep up the charity work!
ACCCCCCCKKKKKKK! I just lost half of my blog...GRRRRRRR. It was a good one too. Thanks Mr. Computer!!!
Florida at Auburn-Flo-Rida was spun right round, baby like a record by LSU(sadly they will probably still beat UGA) while Auburn lost to the fighting Bobby Petrinos. Gotta go with Auburn at home. $28 (that was for you Daddy Newton! Your son is going to be a star in the NFL) Florida 20.
Georgia vs Vandy- Georgia has 4 in a row over...a W is a W! Always take the W...Vandy is just being Vandy. UGA 21- Vandy 10
USC at Cal-Lane Kiffin and company roll into Berkley while Cal is nothing write home about to ESPN. Did you know Mark Paul Gosselar aka Zach from Saved by the Bell played for USC? Actually, I think that was UCLA. Severe sleep deprivation allows me to say that, "Yeah, sounds accurate" is considered fact checking. Song girls 38- Bears 24
Oklahoma State at Texas-The Cowboys ride into town with a lasso hoping to hook those horns. HAAAA! Texas stunk it up against Stoops and company. Mack Brown probably thinks everyone leaving for the PAC 10 or SEC sounds like a great idea after all. Cowboys are sizzling so it's time to fizzle. Horns 24-17
Ohio State at Illinois-The Buckeyes completely melted down in the cornfields of Nebraska while the Zooker is saying "winner, winner Illini dinner!" Surely Adam Sandler and the guys will regroup and not allow themselves to be Zooked or Zookied or...something like that. OSU has a history of incredible players including 2 time Heisman winner Archie Griffin, Eddie George (I swear I almost typed Eddie Money), Cris Carter, Art #32455779089356779Schlicter, Kirk Herbstreit (okay maybe not but what a sweet gig he has) and James Laureanitus, the son of one of the Road Warriors. Would that make him Animal Jr or Hawk Jr.? No, Buckeyes bouce back in a tight game. 17-14
I can't vouch for anything in this blog, but I can tell you the Skittles were yummy. Peace out! Word to your mother. Get out of my dreams, get into my car. I'm walking on sunshine. Shake your money maker. I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down. When will I be loved??
Wow! I am still on shock that Ohio State lost to Nebraska. What an epic and total collapse that was, much like John Edwards political career (bada bing). John, if you are reading this and I know you don't, I liked you back in the day. However, it was incredibly poor judgment to have that TV interview to say you didn't have an extra child when the Enquirer showed us otherwise. Keep up the charity work!
ACCCCCCCKKKKKKK! I just lost half of my blog...GRRRRRRR. It was a good one too. Thanks Mr. Computer!!!
Florida at Auburn-Flo-Rida was spun right round, baby like a record by LSU(sadly they will probably still beat UGA) while Auburn lost to the fighting Bobby Petrinos. Gotta go with Auburn at home. $28 (that was for you Daddy Newton! Your son is going to be a star in the NFL) Florida 20.
Georgia vs Vandy- Georgia has 4 in a row over...a W is a W! Always take the W...Vandy is just being Vandy. UGA 21- Vandy 10
USC at Cal-Lane Kiffin and company roll into Berkley while Cal is nothing write home about to ESPN. Did you know Mark Paul Gosselar aka Zach from Saved by the Bell played for USC? Actually, I think that was UCLA. Severe sleep deprivation allows me to say that, "Yeah, sounds accurate" is considered fact checking. Song girls 38- Bears 24
Oklahoma State at Texas-The Cowboys ride into town with a lasso hoping to hook those horns. HAAAA! Texas stunk it up against Stoops and company. Mack Brown probably thinks everyone leaving for the PAC 10 or SEC sounds like a great idea after all. Cowboys are sizzling so it's time to fizzle. Horns 24-17
Ohio State at Illinois-The Buckeyes completely melted down in the cornfields of Nebraska while the Zooker is saying "winner, winner Illini dinner!" Surely Adam Sandler and the guys will regroup and not allow themselves to be Zooked or Zookied or...something like that. OSU has a history of incredible players including 2 time Heisman winner Archie Griffin, Eddie George (I swear I almost typed Eddie Money), Cris Carter, Art #32455779089356779Schlicter, Kirk Herbstreit (okay maybe not but what a sweet gig he has) and James Laureanitus, the son of one of the Road Warriors. Would that make him Animal Jr or Hawk Jr.? No, Buckeyes bouce back in a tight game. 17-14
I can't vouch for anything in this blog, but I can tell you the Skittles were yummy. Peace out! Word to your mother. Get out of my dreams, get into my car. I'm walking on sunshine. Shake your money maker. I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down. When will I be loved??
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Psychic powers and is Barnes & Nobles the new love connector?
Hola! Let's cut to the chase. I give readings. No, I don't claim to be on of Dionne Warwick's psychic friends or Sylvia Browning (although I have had an unfortunate teenage run in with Sun In which gave me Syl's hair color), but I am rather accurate. It sounds crazy, but I have read a great deal about how the mind "knows" the answers, but we block the receptors with junk, like watching "Khloe & Lamar" or "The Real Housewives of .." The worst part of reading cards for someone is that they don't always like the answer. So, people have a tendency to ask questions they already know the answers, but are hoping someone else will tell them something different. Sister Sweet T will not do that! Nada! This is why therapists and psychics are popular and busy. To quote the Thompson Twins, "Lies, Lies, Lies yeah!" Want to know something? Ask and I won't charge by the minute or tell you that you have a dark spell cast by a former friend that requires several sessions at 3 hundy a pop to remove.
On a different note, I have this friend named John. John is just a wonderful, funny guy and a very devoted dad. John, if you are reading this garbage, please know I adore you as you always make me laugh!! Also, when you are ready to date, I have a surefire strategy we are going to implement that includes your prior work with homeless kids and animals to turn the ladies into a pile of putty. Trust me, every politician will try to steal this platform! John is recently divorced and it has been a challenging situation for him. Lo and behold he called yesterday to tell me he was perusing the self help aisle at Barnes & Nobles (I think they are still in biz) when someone chatted him up and gave him her digits. What??? As another friend would say "Roll up, it's a hold up!" I thought this all happened in the frozen foods section in the grocery store? Years ago, I believed that unfortunate article advising women to search for love among the Lean Cuisines and Hagen Daz. I decided to befriend Hagen Daz and it really liked my butt, but that is another story. But how do these situations occur? Hypothetically, it could go down something like this....
X-"I see you are reading Martha Stewart's magazine. I like to cook and was in prison for tax evasion."
Y-"Seriously? That's incredible. I haven't paid taxes in years so maybe we should grab a bite to eat sometime."
*****Note to the IRS*****This is a fabricated situation and is for humor purposes only. I love and support you*****************
Anyway, back to John. The ink isn't dry on the divorce decree but it's time to get him a shirt that says, "Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game." However, I did tell him to stay away from college students, psychopaths, people who have been on reality shows, women who have been married so many times they can't remember the names of all of their ex-husbands, and women who have so much baggage that it's more reminiscent of a 24 piece set of luggage. I consider this sound advice!
Btw, my husband doesn't think my blog is funny. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Football picks up tomorrow..
On a different note, I have this friend named John. John is just a wonderful, funny guy and a very devoted dad. John, if you are reading this garbage, please know I adore you as you always make me laugh!! Also, when you are ready to date, I have a surefire strategy we are going to implement that includes your prior work with homeless kids and animals to turn the ladies into a pile of putty. Trust me, every politician will try to steal this platform! John is recently divorced and it has been a challenging situation for him. Lo and behold he called yesterday to tell me he was perusing the self help aisle at Barnes & Nobles (I think they are still in biz) when someone chatted him up and gave him her digits. What??? As another friend would say "Roll up, it's a hold up!" I thought this all happened in the frozen foods section in the grocery store? Years ago, I believed that unfortunate article advising women to search for love among the Lean Cuisines and Hagen Daz. I decided to befriend Hagen Daz and it really liked my butt, but that is another story. But how do these situations occur? Hypothetically, it could go down something like this....
X-"I see you are reading Martha Stewart's magazine. I like to cook and was in prison for tax evasion."
Y-"Seriously? That's incredible. I haven't paid taxes in years so maybe we should grab a bite to eat sometime."
*****Note to the IRS*****This is a fabricated situation and is for humor purposes only. I love and support you*****************
Anyway, back to John. The ink isn't dry on the divorce decree but it's time to get him a shirt that says, "Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game." However, I did tell him to stay away from college students, psychopaths, people who have been on reality shows, women who have been married so many times they can't remember the names of all of their ex-husbands, and women who have so much baggage that it's more reminiscent of a 24 piece set of luggage. I consider this sound advice!
Btw, my husband doesn't think my blog is funny. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Football picks up tomorrow..
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Brady Bunch (not Tom & Giselle)
This must be a record! Have I really posted 3 days in a row? This may be a preemptive sign that the Apocalypse is upon us. No, the definitive sign of that is when the Olsen Twins announce a reality show. You know the premise, Ashley will have Mary Kate hidden in her handbag and they will celebrate the prank by splitting a Cheerio for dinner and skyping with Bob Saget. It will be a ratings juggernaut!
Patrick? Are you still reading this? I am writing about other topics than football because you are the only guy I know who doesn't like or watch football but sustained a football injury. Consider that your shout out!
Have I ever told you guys how much I loved watching the Brady Bunch when I was a kid? I thought they were so cool because they lived in that groovy split level and had Alice to referee the arguments. I loved the episode where they went to Hawaii and Greg had that bad luck necklace which caused him to wipe out on the surfboard. To reinforce the evil forces, they played this specific tune each time the camera panned to the necklace.
My favorite episodes were when they sang...Like when they were the Silver Platters and tried to win the talent show to pay for the platter they had engraved for Carol and Mike's anniversary. That whack job Jan misunderstood the cost for the engraving, and the Brady kids had to get creative as to how to come up with the funds. I also loved when they were recording the song (I think this was before Greg became "Johnny Bravo") and Peter's voice was changing. "When it's time to change, then it's time to change. Don't fight the tide, come along for the ride, don't you see?" Move over Milli Vanilli. The Brady Bunch absolutely should have won best new artist! Those are Grammy winning lyrics if I say so myself. Yes, I have Brady Bunch CDs.
No, I loved the show because I wanted to be like Marcia. She had long, straight hair and was so cool. I could even relate to that episode where Marcia got smacked in the nose with the football. However, mine was a bit different. Michele Merchant closed the Barbie suitcase on my nose in 3rd grade and I wish she would have just broken it instead of bruising it severely. Michele, wherever you are, I hold that against you. If you were really a friend, you would have done a sister a favor and broken my nose so I could have gotten rhinoplastic surgery like I dreamed of doing. In reality, I was more like Jan. Socially awkward but definitely more creative than Jan. I would have never created an imaginary boyfriend and called him George Glass. I would have called him Simon LeBon or George Michael, although that relationship would probably have been as successful as Jan's was with George Glass...nonexistent!
In reality (and yes reality does exist in my world) I probably am more like Cindy. She had a lisp and I stuttered as a kid. And I think she always felt misunderstood and I probably am misunderstood. Yes, I just did an entire post on how I relate to the Brady Bunch. But did you notice I made no reference to Sam the butcher?
Later!
Patrick? Are you still reading this? I am writing about other topics than football because you are the only guy I know who doesn't like or watch football but sustained a football injury. Consider that your shout out!
Have I ever told you guys how much I loved watching the Brady Bunch when I was a kid? I thought they were so cool because they lived in that groovy split level and had Alice to referee the arguments. I loved the episode where they went to Hawaii and Greg had that bad luck necklace which caused him to wipe out on the surfboard. To reinforce the evil forces, they played this specific tune each time the camera panned to the necklace.
My favorite episodes were when they sang...Like when they were the Silver Platters and tried to win the talent show to pay for the platter they had engraved for Carol and Mike's anniversary. That whack job Jan misunderstood the cost for the engraving, and the Brady kids had to get creative as to how to come up with the funds. I also loved when they were recording the song (I think this was before Greg became "Johnny Bravo") and Peter's voice was changing. "When it's time to change, then it's time to change. Don't fight the tide, come along for the ride, don't you see?" Move over Milli Vanilli. The Brady Bunch absolutely should have won best new artist! Those are Grammy winning lyrics if I say so myself. Yes, I have Brady Bunch CDs.
No, I loved the show because I wanted to be like Marcia. She had long, straight hair and was so cool. I could even relate to that episode where Marcia got smacked in the nose with the football. However, mine was a bit different. Michele Merchant closed the Barbie suitcase on my nose in 3rd grade and I wish she would have just broken it instead of bruising it severely. Michele, wherever you are, I hold that against you. If you were really a friend, you would have done a sister a favor and broken my nose so I could have gotten rhinoplastic surgery like I dreamed of doing. In reality, I was more like Jan. Socially awkward but definitely more creative than Jan. I would have never created an imaginary boyfriend and called him George Glass. I would have called him Simon LeBon or George Michael, although that relationship would probably have been as successful as Jan's was with George Glass...nonexistent!
In reality (and yes reality does exist in my world) I probably am more like Cindy. She had a lisp and I stuttered as a kid. And I think she always felt misunderstood and I probably am misunderstood. Yes, I just did an entire post on how I relate to the Brady Bunch. But did you notice I made no reference to Sam the butcher?
Later!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Google Me, Google You
This is sooooooo unlike me to update the blog while the SNF is on, but in the words of Aerosmith, "I'm Living on the Edge." That song doesn't even compare to one of the all time greatest hair band hits by Warrant (RIP Janie Lane) "Cherry Pie", but I wasn't sure how to incorporate that song into this paragraph as I am not Betty Crocker or auditioning to be a guest on Iron Chef.
Allegedly, you should google yourself to see what comes up in the search. Obviously, most of the teens I know have not done this as they would know that no privacy (I prefer the British pronunciation of priv-acy) settings means the entire world sees those pics you took of yourself posing provocatively in your undies in front of the mirror. Yeah, you think only Ethan and your 1498 friends see it but that's not the way that works. I have googled myself before , but decided to do a bit more of an indepth search. I know that I'm not incognito on this blog, but for research purposes let's say that my name is Tara Snookipops.
Lo and behold, there are 6 Tara Snookipops in the U.S. One is apparently an executive in Hollywood. I love celebrity sleaze, but have not achieved that kind of status in my life. Another Tara Snookipops is a volunteer firefighter. Definitely not me as I am terrified of heights so that trek up the ladder would make me panicky. She also has no security settings on her Weight Watchers blog, and her goal is to lose 75 pounds. Props to that Ms. Snookipops! I would like to drop 10, but after reading her blog all I wanted was a fork and a cake. Then there was the Tara Snookipops who is president of her sorority (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) and that is MOST definitely not me nor would have ever been me. Apparently, she is very involved in all things pan-hellenic and is using sisterhood to right the wrongs of the world. Another Tara Snookipops sells coffee mugs and looked like she walked out of an episode of "Jersey Shore." Nope, not me either. Good for all of these ladies for chasing their dreams, some minus sunscreen.
High up in the search I came across something that made me giggle. Someone had written the following post in the New York Times "Tara Snookipops is a Hot Tamale!" What????Could that be me? Did I have a secret admirer? Had this person caught me on a good hair day? Had the guy behind the counter at the Quik Trip used this forum to explain why he never makes me pay for a beverage? I was freaking giddy and on the verge of blushing. I was nervously getting ready to click on the link hoping that the author was David Beckham or at least Jason Taylor. Jason, if you ever read this (and I know you won't) I positively turned into a pile of putty after that ASPCA commercial you did with your dog. Yes, I am a pathetic individual. Back to the link. No, I clicked on the "Tara Snookipops is a Hot Tamale!" to discover that it was from an admirer, but not of this Tara. Apparently that Tara plays field hockey in NJ and is quite the object of affection of a gaggle of guys. Sigh....
What did I learn from this project? There is only one me, thankfully.
Allegedly, you should google yourself to see what comes up in the search. Obviously, most of the teens I know have not done this as they would know that no privacy (I prefer the British pronunciation of priv-acy) settings means the entire world sees those pics you took of yourself posing provocatively in your undies in front of the mirror. Yeah, you think only Ethan and your 1498 friends see it but that's not the way that works. I have googled myself before , but decided to do a bit more of an indepth search. I know that I'm not incognito on this blog, but for research purposes let's say that my name is Tara Snookipops.
Lo and behold, there are 6 Tara Snookipops in the U.S. One is apparently an executive in Hollywood. I love celebrity sleaze, but have not achieved that kind of status in my life. Another Tara Snookipops is a volunteer firefighter. Definitely not me as I am terrified of heights so that trek up the ladder would make me panicky. She also has no security settings on her Weight Watchers blog, and her goal is to lose 75 pounds. Props to that Ms. Snookipops! I would like to drop 10, but after reading her blog all I wanted was a fork and a cake. Then there was the Tara Snookipops who is president of her sorority (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) and that is MOST definitely not me nor would have ever been me. Apparently, she is very involved in all things pan-hellenic and is using sisterhood to right the wrongs of the world. Another Tara Snookipops sells coffee mugs and looked like she walked out of an episode of "Jersey Shore." Nope, not me either. Good for all of these ladies for chasing their dreams, some minus sunscreen.
High up in the search I came across something that made me giggle. Someone had written the following post in the New York Times "Tara Snookipops is a Hot Tamale!" What????Could that be me? Did I have a secret admirer? Had this person caught me on a good hair day? Had the guy behind the counter at the Quik Trip used this forum to explain why he never makes me pay for a beverage? I was freaking giddy and on the verge of blushing. I was nervously getting ready to click on the link hoping that the author was David Beckham or at least Jason Taylor. Jason, if you ever read this (and I know you won't) I positively turned into a pile of putty after that ASPCA commercial you did with your dog. Yes, I am a pathetic individual. Back to the link. No, I clicked on the "Tara Snookipops is a Hot Tamale!" to discover that it was from an admirer, but not of this Tara. Apparently that Tara plays field hockey in NJ and is quite the object of affection of a gaggle of guys. Sigh....
What did I learn from this project? There is only one me, thankfully.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thoughts on Feedback, Imaginary Friends, and Week 5
So, I received feedback that "I will lose my following if I don't discuss the trials and tribulations of being a mom and just talk about football." Following? It's not like I am Jim Jones or anything and if I was, I would choose kool-aid that doesn't stain your mouth. And I certainly appreciate anyone taking or wasting the time to read my thoughts-I love it! However, I am going to toss in a snippet of life for entertainment.
Confession time! Did your kids have imaginary friends? Better yet, did you have an imaginary friend as a kid? I had several. Shocking, I know! Probably because I was super duper ultra shy I had imaginary friends. My closest imaginary friend was Timmy, a girl. We were BF until I outgrew her when I was around 4. I also had another group of imaginary friends named Babette, Jerrilynn ChapChap, and Lizzard Izzagonoli. Creative huh? Jerrilynn and Babette were sisters and Lizzard was an Italian tennis player. Some of you are probably thinking that was rather imaginative for a 2 or 3 year old while another segment is probably wondering why I am not in a padded room. So..let's talk about professional football!
I read that Peyton Manning would love to play this season. Why Peyton? Are you a glutton for punishment? He won't be able to help an 0-14 squad, so kick back and relax, Peyton. And don't watch your team. You will be depressed!
Packers at the Falcons-Funny things happen at the Georgia Dome, and I don't mean Kim Zolciak cheering on her hubby Kroy (a name that when said sounds like you have a jawbreaker lodged in your throat) Bierman. The Packers have swagger while the Falcons beat the Seahags last week. I think the Packers are mucho better, but again, strange things happen when the Falcons play at home. Falcons 20-17.
Jets at Patriots-Mr. GQ versus the original Mr. GQ. I don't see the hubbub regarding Mark Sanchez, but he is good for a pick 6. I know exactly why Tom Brady launched Bridget Moynahan for Giselle. Hello, she was a Victoria's Secret model and wore wings. Score! One guy not walking any fashion runways is Bill Belichick, but he can put together quite the team. Rumor has it the Patriots have a horrible defense, but the Jets get on my nerves. The Brady Bunch 28-24.
Chiefs at the Colts-I hope they are playing that song "What Have I Done to Deserve This" by the Pet Shop Boys when these teams come out on the field. The Chiefs scored a touchdown and managed to win last week, but I don't think this means they are improving. The Manning-less Colts are winless but did play the Bucs and Steelers close. Kerry Collins wondered why he came out of retirement and is happy to let Curtis "80s hair" Painter get knocked around. The Colts will win at some point, right? Let's say it happens this week. 21-14
Eagles at the Bills-My how the mighty have fallen! I thought the Eagles were supposed to be that and a bag of chips, while the Bills think their Harvard QB, Ryan Fitzpatrick, is the new Jim Kelly. Logic would say go with the Bills, but I have to think the Eagles turn it around at some point. Eagles 31-Bills 27
GAME OF THE WEEK
What????? Is MNF in Detroit? Jay Cutler was allegedly cheering on his former flame from "The Hills" on DWTS. I read she got the ax so maybe love is back in the air? Who cares! The last time MNF was in Detroit was back when apple was just a fruit, not a child or a company. The Bears have Paris Hilton's former flame Brian Urlacher, while Detroit has 3 of my favorite players in Stafford, Johnson and Suh. Is that a law office? The peeps in Detroit have to pumped about this game and the Tigers. Motor City baby! 35-24.
****Disclaimer****** Yes, I have misplaced commas and typos. I know it!
Confession time! Did your kids have imaginary friends? Better yet, did you have an imaginary friend as a kid? I had several. Shocking, I know! Probably because I was super duper ultra shy I had imaginary friends. My closest imaginary friend was Timmy, a girl. We were BF until I outgrew her when I was around 4. I also had another group of imaginary friends named Babette, Jerrilynn ChapChap, and Lizzard Izzagonoli. Creative huh? Jerrilynn and Babette were sisters and Lizzard was an Italian tennis player. Some of you are probably thinking that was rather imaginative for a 2 or 3 year old while another segment is probably wondering why I am not in a padded room. So..let's talk about professional football!
I read that Peyton Manning would love to play this season. Why Peyton? Are you a glutton for punishment? He won't be able to help an 0-14 squad, so kick back and relax, Peyton. And don't watch your team. You will be depressed!
Packers at the Falcons-Funny things happen at the Georgia Dome, and I don't mean Kim Zolciak cheering on her hubby Kroy (a name that when said sounds like you have a jawbreaker lodged in your throat) Bierman. The Packers have swagger while the Falcons beat the Seahags last week. I think the Packers are mucho better, but again, strange things happen when the Falcons play at home. Falcons 20-17.
Jets at Patriots-Mr. GQ versus the original Mr. GQ. I don't see the hubbub regarding Mark Sanchez, but he is good for a pick 6. I know exactly why Tom Brady launched Bridget Moynahan for Giselle. Hello, she was a Victoria's Secret model and wore wings. Score! One guy not walking any fashion runways is Bill Belichick, but he can put together quite the team. Rumor has it the Patriots have a horrible defense, but the Jets get on my nerves. The Brady Bunch 28-24.
Chiefs at the Colts-I hope they are playing that song "What Have I Done to Deserve This" by the Pet Shop Boys when these teams come out on the field. The Chiefs scored a touchdown and managed to win last week, but I don't think this means they are improving. The Manning-less Colts are winless but did play the Bucs and Steelers close. Kerry Collins wondered why he came out of retirement and is happy to let Curtis "80s hair" Painter get knocked around. The Colts will win at some point, right? Let's say it happens this week. 21-14
Eagles at the Bills-My how the mighty have fallen! I thought the Eagles were supposed to be that and a bag of chips, while the Bills think their Harvard QB, Ryan Fitzpatrick, is the new Jim Kelly. Logic would say go with the Bills, but I have to think the Eagles turn it around at some point. Eagles 31-Bills 27
GAME OF THE WEEK
What????? Is MNF in Detroit? Jay Cutler was allegedly cheering on his former flame from "The Hills" on DWTS. I read she got the ax so maybe love is back in the air? Who cares! The last time MNF was in Detroit was back when apple was just a fruit, not a child or a company. The Bears have Paris Hilton's former flame Brian Urlacher, while Detroit has 3 of my favorite players in Stafford, Johnson and Suh. Is that a law office? The peeps in Detroit have to pumped about this game and the Tigers. Motor City baby! 35-24.
****Disclaimer****** Yes, I have misplaced commas and typos. I know it!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Week 6..Is it? I can't keep up!
In the words of Culture Club, "I know you miss me, I know you miss me blind." Ack! I loathe that song, but I'm losing my clever. Anyway, I want to start by saying that I met a gentleman yesterday who has lost over 500 pounds. It was an amazing and impressive story. However, for some reason whenever I hear stories like that, I cannot stop thinking about food. As a matter of fact, I was famished listening to the story and could not take my mind off the fine offerings at the DQ. So to celebrate this amazing story, I shared a chocolate tartlet with a friend.
I'm not sure what week we are in so let's skip the specifics and get to the picks. Thanks http://cfn.scout.com Without you, I'm just me.
Cal at Oregon-The Bears visit the Ducks and their hideous outfits. I haven't heard much about Cal this year, but I know Adam "Mr. Jones" Duritz is frequently on the sidelines. He is most famous for having dating Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. I guess they were still "Friends" after that. I don't think the Bears will ruffle any feathers so I like the Quack Attack 35-24
Oklahoma vs Texas-The Red River rivalry could be a thing of the past with that move to the glitzy PAC 10 , but I love any game where there is a ferris wheel outside the stadium. Is this Oklahoma's year to win it all? I mean they have a QB who absolutely must have been named after Tom Landry while Texas has a QB named Case (Colt's baby brother). Is there another McCoy brother waiting in the wings named Real? Maybe they only recruit guys names Cody, Wyatt and Shooter? I think Texas is in transition, so I like the Sooners 28-20.
UGA at The Big Orange- 2 schools intertwined in a variety of ways. Derek Dooley is the coach of UT while his dad is the legendary Vince-no last name necessary. Both schools have had mascot woes as Smokey had to be replaced due to biting someone while UGA has not officially replaced Bruce (I think that was his name). UGA has won 3 in a row with 2 sound defeats of the state of Mississippi, while TN has beaten..I have no clue. Arron Murray occasionally reminds me of Joe Cox which is not a good thing. Note to UGA, "What do we want? TD What's that? Touchdown." Skip the Blair Walsh show and let's not have "Rocky Top" ringing in our ears. Halloween may be near but red is more flattering than orange. Go Dawgs 21-17
Maryland at GT-After beating da U, Maryland has looked horrible, literally in those crazy, blindingly ugly uniforms, while GT is quietly winning. Looks like that Clemson/GT showdown in a couple of weeks could have ACC title implications (Yes, that was my Clemson love because I have to acknowledge them now). This game will be played in front of those 25 loyal GT fans and a student body adjusting their pocket protectors. I kid!! I think GT protects their house while the Terps suit up for another "What Not to Wear" episode. Bees 38 Terps-30
Florida at LSU-Wow! Florida was served up like Gator bites courtesy of the Tide last week. Now they roll into Death Valley, with the spirit of Jamarcus Russell looming. The purple drank will be flowing and this may get out of hand. No contest. Miles and Company 31-14.
Finally, Auburn at Arkansas. You have to hand it to Auburn, they find a way to win while the Bobby Petrinos rallied to beat future SEC bottom dweller, Texas A&M. Luck has to run out at some point, right? It may happen in front of a crowd chanting "Woo Pig Sooey!" I think they served that in the cafeteria in elementary school. Yes, the day after the bologna cup. Hogs 38-35.
Finally, Brett Favre is like Elvis isn't he? There is always a sighting...
I'm not sure what week we are in so let's skip the specifics and get to the picks. Thanks http://cfn.scout.com Without you, I'm just me.
Cal at Oregon-The Bears visit the Ducks and their hideous outfits. I haven't heard much about Cal this year, but I know Adam "Mr. Jones" Duritz is frequently on the sidelines. He is most famous for having dating Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. I guess they were still "Friends" after that. I don't think the Bears will ruffle any feathers so I like the Quack Attack 35-24
Oklahoma vs Texas-The Red River rivalry could be a thing of the past with that move to the glitzy PAC 10 , but I love any game where there is a ferris wheel outside the stadium. Is this Oklahoma's year to win it all? I mean they have a QB who absolutely must have been named after Tom Landry while Texas has a QB named Case (Colt's baby brother). Is there another McCoy brother waiting in the wings named Real? Maybe they only recruit guys names Cody, Wyatt and Shooter? I think Texas is in transition, so I like the Sooners 28-20.
UGA at The Big Orange- 2 schools intertwined in a variety of ways. Derek Dooley is the coach of UT while his dad is the legendary Vince-no last name necessary. Both schools have had mascot woes as Smokey had to be replaced due to biting someone while UGA has not officially replaced Bruce (I think that was his name). UGA has won 3 in a row with 2 sound defeats of the state of Mississippi, while TN has beaten..I have no clue. Arron Murray occasionally reminds me of Joe Cox which is not a good thing. Note to UGA, "What do we want? TD What's that? Touchdown." Skip the Blair Walsh show and let's not have "Rocky Top" ringing in our ears. Halloween may be near but red is more flattering than orange. Go Dawgs 21-17
Maryland at GT-After beating da U, Maryland has looked horrible, literally in those crazy, blindingly ugly uniforms, while GT is quietly winning. Looks like that Clemson/GT showdown in a couple of weeks could have ACC title implications (Yes, that was my Clemson love because I have to acknowledge them now). This game will be played in front of those 25 loyal GT fans and a student body adjusting their pocket protectors. I kid!! I think GT protects their house while the Terps suit up for another "What Not to Wear" episode. Bees 38 Terps-30
Florida at LSU-Wow! Florida was served up like Gator bites courtesy of the Tide last week. Now they roll into Death Valley, with the spirit of Jamarcus Russell looming. The purple drank will be flowing and this may get out of hand. No contest. Miles and Company 31-14.
Finally, Auburn at Arkansas. You have to hand it to Auburn, they find a way to win while the Bobby Petrinos rallied to beat future SEC bottom dweller, Texas A&M. Luck has to run out at some point, right? It may happen in front of a crowd chanting "Woo Pig Sooey!" I think they served that in the cafeteria in elementary school. Yes, the day after the bologna cup. Hogs 38-35.
Finally, Brett Favre is like Elvis isn't he? There is always a sighting...
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