Like a bad case of the flu, you've missed me haven't you? When you look at the headlines in the news, it's incredibly depressing which is why I prefer celebrities for fodder. For the record, many of these things are sad, but well I'm just putting my spin on the situation. There is so much to discuss....
First off, another bad week in Elmo's world. Apparently, a 3rd individual has come forward to accuse Elmo of some scandalous behaviour (that spelling is a salute to my British posse'). I wonder if Elmo is able to talk to his gold fish, Dorothy, about this? Was the Count behind this? Bert & Ernie? I can absolutely see them being envious of Elmo's break out stardom. I bet Elmo is sitting in a dark room eating the marshmallows out of a box of Lucky Charms while listening to "Bridge Over Troubled Water." Sigh.......http://todayentertainment.today.com/_news/2012/11/27/15486793-ex-elmo-puppeteer-faces-new-allegation-of-sex-with-minor?lite
In other news, Bobbi Kristina, the daughter of the late Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, called off her engagement to her stepbrother. That's her prerogative (not to be confused with a pirogi) but I thought that one had longevity. Unfortunately, Bobbi Kristina inherited the gap between her teeth, similar to her father's. That probably came in during milk spitting contests. In true fashion, this drama will all unfold on their reality show which I had no idea existed. Looks like there is no need for anyone to purchase them an air brushed t-shirt that says "2Gether4Ever" http://todayentertainment.today.com/_news/2012/11/28/15521726-bobbi-kristina-and-fiance-reportedly-end-engagement?lite
Nothing says "pass the turkey" like a nice fist fight in front of your kid. The father of Halle Berry's kid, who is named after something in "The Lion King", and her new French boyfriend got into a physical altercation when either picking up or dropping off the kid. Nice! Halle has suspect taste in men, ay? Looks like the pumpkin was beat out of her former sweetie pie. http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/28/gabriel-halle-olivier-martinez-halle-berry-police-report-instigator-fight/
Here's one. Jason Patric apparently dated this lady with the strange boobs for several years, but offered his sperm as a break up gift. Do they have a Hallmark card that goes along with this? Can Zales give you a necklace called "The Sperminated Pendant"? Check it out http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/28/jason-patric-custody-war-sperm-custody-ex-girlfriend-son/?adid=hero2
Hanukkah and Christmas are just around the corner and perhaps you don't know what to get that special guy in your life. Well, here is the answer. Nothing says, "You are special" like a tank top with nipple cutouts. Yes, I just said the word nipple. Here is the clean, main stream link (the hilarious made me laugh so hard I cried version is at www.dlisted.com but don't go there on a work related computer) to a story about Yoko Ono's new clothing line. I know many of your are wondering how you can get a pair of pants with hands painted on the crotch area, so Opening Ceremony has an entire line of Yoko's masterpieces to help you. http://www.accessatlanta.com/ap/ap/entertainment/oh-yoko-onos-fashion-line-gropes-for-lennon/nTHmw/?icid=buzzlink Finally, we all know where to get a jockstrap with a LED light. Thanks Yoko for helping guys fill their wardrobe with new basics.
Holla!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
College Picks
Happy almost Thanksgiving. Not a huge fan of this holiday as we should be thankful year round, right? Still, it's an opportunity to enjoy the topping of the sweet potato souffle (hold the marshmallows and extra crunch). Remember last week when there was a contingency of peeps elated at the fact the SEC National Championship had been snapped a la Lifetime? What a difference a week makes! I didn't watch any games Saturday night and had a stream of texts (in between texts with pictures of various desserts) giving me play by play of K-State vs Baylor and Stanford vs Oregon. Oh Brent Musburger....I know peeps who can replace you and call the players by the correct names. Anyway, the Ducks promptly laid an egg (1st duck joke) while K-State wet the bed or should I say field? Nice job sealing the deal when it was all there for the taking, guys.
Did you hear? Maryland will still protect the house but it will be in the Big 10 and joining them are the Scarlett Knights of Rutgers. They too, will be stomped by Ohio State. And where does that leave FSU and Clemson? It's one of those things that make you go hmmmmmm. On with the show...
UGA vs GT-My neighbors generally put their GT flag up this time of year, but no flag sighting as of yet. If you haven't heard, GT backed into that ACC Championship game with a phat 6-5 record and a loss at home to Middle TN State. Wouldn't they love to spoil UGA's party? This is such a big if, and I have probably jinxed the entire situation, but if UGA beats the fuzzy bees, and Bama, they could go play Rudy and Company in the BCS championship game. More on Rudy later....I could see UGA being a little flat and a close game, but I see a Dawg victory in this rivalry. (I hope. My fingers, legs, and toes are crossed and I just tossed some salt over my shoulder as I typed this)
Florida vs FSU-Jimbo Fisher is upset because FSU isn't getting any love in the polls. You can't lose to NC State, Jimbo. It's only acceptable in hoops. The Gators have looked a bit dicey the last few weeks against lesser opponents. Maybe they are playing down to the competition? Not sure, but I will take the Gators in a photo finish (watch them lose by 45).
Ohio State vs Michigan-I said earlier this year the Buckeyes were going undefeated and they will. It's tough to do that 2 years in a row, but look for Ohio State to dominate the Big 10 (or maybe it's 14 now) until.....well until someone else steps up and that could be quite a while. Michigan, Wisconsin, and Nebraska are on the second tier and then there is that sad, pathetic 3rd tier. It's tough to vote against Urban, so Buckeyes get a big W and sit home in January watching "The Amazing Race" (never seen the show but I've heard many like it).
Alabama vs Auburn-Oh Auburn.....If you are Gene Chizik, how do you like people openly discussing who is going to replace you at the weekly staff meetings? I bet they didn't put his name in the Secret Santa exchange. Have they even scored 100 points total all season? This will get fugly-fast. Tide roll...
USC vs ND-Remember when Matt Barkley came back to win a National Championship and the Heisman? Right. The only thing these USC QBs are truly good for is hooking up with celebutantes. All is right in the world as ND is number 1. At half time during this game, I expect angels to drop down and sing while leprechauns dance. As a friend of mine pointed out, it's interesting that Barkley is injured for this game. This same friend thinks the Vatican is on this (what??????). I want to be the first to say that if ND wins the National Title, ESPN will move their HQ from Bristol to South Bend. Lou Holtz will be unintelligible (oh wait-that's already happening). We will have live streams of what is happening on the campus and what player is currently using the urinal. Pinterest will shut down from the ND faithful. I'm not kidding. USC can score but the D is sketchy. Sigh. ND solidifies their number 1 ranking and the earth will tremble.
Tennessee vs Kentucky-I guess Derek Dooley won't be wearing orange at the Thanksgiving table this year. Kentucky is absolutely terrible and canned their coach, Joker Phillips, mid way through the season and that's no joke. Who will be the next guy singing "Rocky Top"? Not sure but big orange gets the victory.
Oklahoma State at Oklahoma-It's big game Bobby vs Mike "I'm a man" Gundy. Not sure what to think of this game as Oklahoma lost to K State and to ND. Remember, Lou Holtz and Bob Stoops are good friends and Bob probably puts Lou on mute when he calls to salivate (literally) over ND. If they use Face time, Bob wears goggles and a protective mask. Haven't seen the Cowboys play, but I generally like the Sooners at home. Boomer sooner (yes, they will lose by 30).
Stanford at UCLA- Both teams coming off a big win, so who can keep the momentum? I'll take the team behind door number 3. Cardinals.
South Carolina at Clemson-Darth's squad has looked shaky since blowing the doors off UGA. They struggled against Wofford last week until the 4th quarter. Another year and another Clemson team. Typically, I would take the Gamecocks, but their offense is anemic. They haven't looked the same since losing Marcus Lattimore. Clemson in a close one. Wait, did I just pick an ACC team? Have I lost touch with reality? Steve Spurrier can email me a personal thanks for picking Clemson.
Oregon at Oregon State-Oregon and their allegedly unstoppable offense waddle (2nd duck joke) into Corvallis to take on the Beavers. Rumor has it (thanks Adele!) that Chip Kelly is going to be the top candidate for the Philadelphia Eagles. From ducks to eagles? What the cluck? I know. I know. The ducks had top billing (ha) media was hoping a PAC 10 team would play for the National title for the sex-ay factor, but it's not to be. Oregon State has a good record but I can never tell much about the PAC 10 teams except that it is possible to score 35 points in under a minute. Mmmmmm. This one is difficult. I'm going with the upset and pick the Beavers to gnaw their way to a victory over the quack pack attack.
****Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****
LSU vs Arkansas-Did you see Les Miles' post game conference last week? It's a good thing the FCC wasn't asking questions because he got all feisty on the media. Les is an odd duck, but he is a good coach. John L Smith has been quiet since saying the state of Alabama was behind him. Alabama, Arkansas....they both start with an "A." LSU gets the win.
Pro picks tomorrow. Go Dawgs!
Did you hear? Maryland will still protect the house but it will be in the Big 10 and joining them are the Scarlett Knights of Rutgers. They too, will be stomped by Ohio State. And where does that leave FSU and Clemson? It's one of those things that make you go hmmmmmm. On with the show...
UGA vs GT-My neighbors generally put their GT flag up this time of year, but no flag sighting as of yet. If you haven't heard, GT backed into that ACC Championship game with a phat 6-5 record and a loss at home to Middle TN State. Wouldn't they love to spoil UGA's party? This is such a big if, and I have probably jinxed the entire situation, but if UGA beats the fuzzy bees, and Bama, they could go play Rudy and Company in the BCS championship game. More on Rudy later....I could see UGA being a little flat and a close game, but I see a Dawg victory in this rivalry. (I hope. My fingers, legs, and toes are crossed and I just tossed some salt over my shoulder as I typed this)
Florida vs FSU-Jimbo Fisher is upset because FSU isn't getting any love in the polls. You can't lose to NC State, Jimbo. It's only acceptable in hoops. The Gators have looked a bit dicey the last few weeks against lesser opponents. Maybe they are playing down to the competition? Not sure, but I will take the Gators in a photo finish (watch them lose by 45).
Ohio State vs Michigan-I said earlier this year the Buckeyes were going undefeated and they will. It's tough to do that 2 years in a row, but look for Ohio State to dominate the Big 10 (or maybe it's 14 now) until.....well until someone else steps up and that could be quite a while. Michigan, Wisconsin, and Nebraska are on the second tier and then there is that sad, pathetic 3rd tier. It's tough to vote against Urban, so Buckeyes get a big W and sit home in January watching "The Amazing Race" (never seen the show but I've heard many like it).
Alabama vs Auburn-Oh Auburn.....If you are Gene Chizik, how do you like people openly discussing who is going to replace you at the weekly staff meetings? I bet they didn't put his name in the Secret Santa exchange. Have they even scored 100 points total all season? This will get fugly-fast. Tide roll...
USC vs ND-Remember when Matt Barkley came back to win a National Championship and the Heisman? Right. The only thing these USC QBs are truly good for is hooking up with celebutantes. All is right in the world as ND is number 1. At half time during this game, I expect angels to drop down and sing while leprechauns dance. As a friend of mine pointed out, it's interesting that Barkley is injured for this game. This same friend thinks the Vatican is on this (what??????). I want to be the first to say that if ND wins the National Title, ESPN will move their HQ from Bristol to South Bend. Lou Holtz will be unintelligible (oh wait-that's already happening). We will have live streams of what is happening on the campus and what player is currently using the urinal. Pinterest will shut down from the ND faithful. I'm not kidding. USC can score but the D is sketchy. Sigh. ND solidifies their number 1 ranking and the earth will tremble.
Tennessee vs Kentucky-I guess Derek Dooley won't be wearing orange at the Thanksgiving table this year. Kentucky is absolutely terrible and canned their coach, Joker Phillips, mid way through the season and that's no joke. Who will be the next guy singing "Rocky Top"? Not sure but big orange gets the victory.
Oklahoma State at Oklahoma-It's big game Bobby vs Mike "I'm a man" Gundy. Not sure what to think of this game as Oklahoma lost to K State and to ND. Remember, Lou Holtz and Bob Stoops are good friends and Bob probably puts Lou on mute when he calls to salivate (literally) over ND. If they use Face time, Bob wears goggles and a protective mask. Haven't seen the Cowboys play, but I generally like the Sooners at home. Boomer sooner (yes, they will lose by 30).
Stanford at UCLA- Both teams coming off a big win, so who can keep the momentum? I'll take the team behind door number 3. Cardinals.
South Carolina at Clemson-Darth's squad has looked shaky since blowing the doors off UGA. They struggled against Wofford last week until the 4th quarter. Another year and another Clemson team. Typically, I would take the Gamecocks, but their offense is anemic. They haven't looked the same since losing Marcus Lattimore. Clemson in a close one. Wait, did I just pick an ACC team? Have I lost touch with reality? Steve Spurrier can email me a personal thanks for picking Clemson.
Oregon at Oregon State-Oregon and their allegedly unstoppable offense waddle (2nd duck joke) into Corvallis to take on the Beavers. Rumor has it (thanks Adele!) that Chip Kelly is going to be the top candidate for the Philadelphia Eagles. From ducks to eagles? What the cluck? I know. I know. The ducks had top billing (ha) media was hoping a PAC 10 team would play for the National title for the sex-ay factor, but it's not to be. Oregon State has a good record but I can never tell much about the PAC 10 teams except that it is possible to score 35 points in under a minute. Mmmmmm. This one is difficult. I'm going with the upset and pick the Beavers to gnaw their way to a victory over the quack pack attack.
****Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****
LSU vs Arkansas-Did you see Les Miles' post game conference last week? It's a good thing the FCC wasn't asking questions because he got all feisty on the media. Les is an odd duck, but he is a good coach. John L Smith has been quiet since saying the state of Alabama was behind him. Alabama, Arkansas....they both start with an "A." LSU gets the win.
Pro picks tomorrow. Go Dawgs!
Friday, November 16, 2012
News Updates and Pro Picks
It's a wild Friday night for me. Would you like to know what I'm drinking? Are you ready? Yes, I am totally indulging in 1% milk versus skim. Can you believe it? I also have the "Hangover 2" in the background because there is one scene I absolutely loved. I imitated it for one of my co-workers a few weeks ago and haven't been reported to HR as of yet, so that's a positive.
So it has been confirmed that future neurosurgeon Hope Solo got hitched to the boyfriend with a rap record. No, not the Eminem or Kanye West kind. Which got me thinking...If this union produces a son, will Hope name him Han and give it her last name? May the force be with her during this union.
Also, apparently Papa Lohan can give Antonio Cromatie a run for his money in the reproduction department. It was revealed this week that he has a 17 yr old love child. I'm sure this child is the picture of stability just like the rest of the Lohan posse. He also is expecting a child with his current squeeze, Kate Major. Kate gave up that blissful union she had with that purse, John Gosselin to pursue a Lohan.
So now she and Michael Lohan, are awaiting their arrival of their latest paycheck. My hope is that they don't tattoo each other's names on their ring fingers. Look at how that worked out for Pam & Tommy Lee. Congrats to the love birds who have had to call the police to break up their arguments. Maybe they can do din din with Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens?
It's time for the NFL picks so let's get this party started....
Indy at NE-It's Lurch vs Mr. GQ. Luck has had a nice rookie year, but I will take the cut off sweatshirt bunch.
SD at Denver-Remember, Norv Turner has weekly meetings to determine if he keeps his job. After this game, will the Chargers organization ask for his parking pass? Peyton is manning the Denver O well right now, so I say Broncos.
GB at Detroit-Apparently, Aaron Rodgers was very offended that "60 Minutes" did not portray him the way he wanted as he is allegedly extremely sensitive. Perhaps instead of a Pizza Hut commercial Aaron's next commercial should be for Tampax. Geez. Give this guy some Midol. You know how much I adore Stafford and Megatron, but the Lions generally don't score until the 4th quarter. Pack Attack.
Cincy at KC-The Bungles slammed the Giants last week but can they put together 2 wins in a row? They are playing the Chiefs, so they can count on 5 or 6 turnovers. AJ Green should have fun with that Chief secondary. They won't bungle this. Nasty Nati with the W.
TB at Carolina-I'm not buying the Bucs but I will buy Josh Freeman's hair. I love it. Allegedly, Ron Rivera is on the week to week plan. Can Cam lead his team to a win? Will Steve Smith punch his own teammates in the face during the coin toss to build camaraderie? Panthers in a slight upset (at least I think it's an upset)
Jacksonville at Houston-I'm not sure if MJD is still injured, but it won't matter. JJ Watt will meet Blaine Gabbert many times. Texans
NYJ vs Rams-Did you hear that several unnamed Jets players told the media that Tim Tebow is a terrible QB and Mark Sanchez is there only hope? Sanchez must have shared some numbers out of his little black book with those guys. Tebow is supposedly in love with Camilla Belle, who dated one of the Jonas Brothers so perhaps he doesn't care. You are about to witness something as rare as a Panda Bear shopping at Publix. Yes, I'm taking the Rams.
Philly at Washington-Eagles are a mess. I hope Nick Foles is preparing for his concussion as the Eagle O-line couldn't block my 2 yr old. RG3 gets a W.
Chicago at SF-This should have been a stellar game but I doubt Cutler will play, so that means they wheel out Jason Campbell. Alex Smith may play, but this game will be like getting a shot of Novocain. 49ers.
****Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner Lock of the Week**************
Cardinals vs Falcons-Remember when people were all excited when the Cards were 4-0? Have you seen the Cards offense? Yeah, they haven't either. Larry Fitzgerald needs to learn to throw the ball down the field to himself. Falcons lost a tough game against Brees & company. However, this one is a guaranteed Falcon win . Just like I guarantee this couple doesn't go the distance. Peace out!
So it has been confirmed that future neurosurgeon Hope Solo got hitched to the boyfriend with a rap record. No, not the Eminem or Kanye West kind. Which got me thinking...If this union produces a son, will Hope name him Han and give it her last name? May the force be with her during this union.
Also, apparently Papa Lohan can give Antonio Cromatie a run for his money in the reproduction department. It was revealed this week that he has a 17 yr old love child. I'm sure this child is the picture of stability just like the rest of the Lohan posse. He also is expecting a child with his current squeeze, Kate Major. Kate gave up that blissful union she had with that purse, John Gosselin to pursue a Lohan.
| It was a major shock these two didn't last |
It's time for the NFL picks so let's get this party started....
Indy at NE-It's Lurch vs Mr. GQ. Luck has had a nice rookie year, but I will take the cut off sweatshirt bunch.
SD at Denver-Remember, Norv Turner has weekly meetings to determine if he keeps his job. After this game, will the Chargers organization ask for his parking pass? Peyton is manning the Denver O well right now, so I say Broncos.
GB at Detroit-Apparently, Aaron Rodgers was very offended that "60 Minutes" did not portray him the way he wanted as he is allegedly extremely sensitive. Perhaps instead of a Pizza Hut commercial Aaron's next commercial should be for Tampax. Geez. Give this guy some Midol. You know how much I adore Stafford and Megatron, but the Lions generally don't score until the 4th quarter. Pack Attack.
Cincy at KC-The Bungles slammed the Giants last week but can they put together 2 wins in a row? They are playing the Chiefs, so they can count on 5 or 6 turnovers. AJ Green should have fun with that Chief secondary. They won't bungle this. Nasty Nati with the W.
TB at Carolina-I'm not buying the Bucs but I will buy Josh Freeman's hair. I love it. Allegedly, Ron Rivera is on the week to week plan. Can Cam lead his team to a win? Will Steve Smith punch his own teammates in the face during the coin toss to build camaraderie? Panthers in a slight upset (at least I think it's an upset)
Jacksonville at Houston-I'm not sure if MJD is still injured, but it won't matter. JJ Watt will meet Blaine Gabbert many times. Texans
NYJ vs Rams-Did you hear that several unnamed Jets players told the media that Tim Tebow is a terrible QB and Mark Sanchez is there only hope? Sanchez must have shared some numbers out of his little black book with those guys. Tebow is supposedly in love with Camilla Belle, who dated one of the Jonas Brothers so perhaps he doesn't care. You are about to witness something as rare as a Panda Bear shopping at Publix. Yes, I'm taking the Rams.
Philly at Washington-Eagles are a mess. I hope Nick Foles is preparing for his concussion as the Eagle O-line couldn't block my 2 yr old. RG3 gets a W.
Chicago at SF-This should have been a stellar game but I doubt Cutler will play, so that means they wheel out Jason Campbell. Alex Smith may play, but this game will be like getting a shot of Novocain. 49ers.
****Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner Lock of the Week**************
Cardinals vs Falcons-Remember when people were all excited when the Cards were 4-0? Have you seen the Cards offense? Yeah, they haven't either. Larry Fitzgerald needs to learn to throw the ball down the field to himself. Falcons lost a tough game against Brees & company. However, this one is a guaranteed Falcon win . Just like I guarantee this couple doesn't go the distance. Peace out!
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| Don't hate the player, hate the game. |
Thursday, November 15, 2012
College Picks
| BIG CALF BOOT COMPANY |
Gosh, I have so much more to say about recent events in the media, but I am holding off until after I make my picks. Moooo-ve over. I've decided to launch my own boot company called ...(see above). Apparently, us freakishly large calved (is that a word????) people have to take it upon ourselves to create boots that fit comfortably over our calves. There is also a misconception that only people who have to be physically removed from their homes courtesy of the fire department on a TLC special have large calves. Hello! I'm mobile (thankfully:). I'm totally normal (that's such a relative term), single digit sized. However, my calves are not. Speaking of those home bound people due to morbid obesity, I'm always fascinated how they got to that point. Was it one of those Pizza Hut 2 medium pizzas for $10 specials that pushed them over the edge? Did someone come over and say, "would you like some m&ms?" and then BAM!!! You are then eating 2 dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, and a loaf of toast slathered in country crock spread for breakfast prior to your mid morning snack of 2 Big Macs, 2 large fries and a Diet Coke. Oh I know it's a disease and it's horrible, but I can't help but wonder what the tipping point is. It is very sad, but fascinating to read about those scenarios. Me? I would absolutely love to hole up in the closet and eat a bag of jelly beans and chase it with a large margarita. Salt please, to ensure the fact that I would feel extra bloated.
Getting close to end of college football's regular season and you have to be feeling a bit perturbed if you are Urban Meyer. You are probably going to go undefeated, further solidifying your strong hold of the Big 10, but alas, you are on triple public probation.You will be eating Skyline Chili in Columbus in January instead of going to some glitzy destination like Miami or Pasadena.
USC vs UCLA-This is also being billed as the battle of LA which should not be confused with the Crips vs Bloods. You have Lane Kiffin who looks like he is in the 8th grade and Jim Mora Jr. who gets ultra defensive in interviews where people don't kiss his booty. This is a no-brainer. Lane Kiffin doesn't bother me. Big deal that he's a used car salesman. That Yugo isn't really a Mercedes. I'll take the Trojans.
Stanford at Oregon- Cardinals vs Aquatic birds. Will feathers fly in this match up of the PAC 12 (I think that is the number now)? Is it sink or swim time for the quack attack? I can think of sooooo many inappropriate but funny signs the Stanford student body could make up for this game. The Ducks are now the #1 team after Alabama lost to Texas A&M. I've only seen snippets of Stanford and they don't look overly impressive. Oregon can put big digits but they also give up big digits. Still, I look for Donald, Daisy and Howard to get the win.
Oklahoma at WV-Remember when Geno Smith was going to win the Heisman and the Mountaineers were going to the BCS Championship game? Yeah, they remember that week too. However, in the words of Soul 11 Soul, "Back to life. Back to reality." I should also point out that I thought the line of this song that said "However do you need it" was saying "I wanna be anemic." I thought that was odd, but I'm no musician so there could have been hidden meaning. Geez. I digress. The Sooners have performed (choking) as expected while WV continues to spiral downward. Maybe they burned one too many couches during the celebrations? Typically, I like the Mountaineers at home with everyone being related in the stands. A big family affair. However, I say boomer sooner prevails.
FSU vs MD-What ensembles will the Terps roll out this week? Jimbo Fisher is whining that his team can't get in the Championship game because they are ranked 10th in the BCS with one loss. Here, let me solve this problem, Jimbo. You should have beaten freaking NC State. MD is terrible with one of the cheerleaders soon to be lining up at QB. Noles.
Alabama A&M at Auburn-Do you think Gene Chizik is including his forwarding address with his holiday cards this year? Could this be win number trois for Auburn? I say "fo sho."
Arkansas at MS State-Will Bobby Petrino end up back at Arkansas? Has he served a year of penance after a debacle with a 26 yr old former coed who he convinced he had swagger when he bought her some Twizzlers? This led to that famed motorcycle ride and the rest is history. I think girl should have a least held out for some Toblerone. Woo Pig Sooey continues the coaching search and the OTHER Bulldogs get a W.
Northwestern vs Michigan State-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Oh I suppose I will take the Wildcats.
UGA vs GA Southern-From time to time, I like to think I have a good idea. Long story short-when I was at UGA, I wanted to write a book called, "The UGA Man-Pick of the Litter." There is much hidden humor behind this. UGA has a much better record than I thought they would. I thought they would be 8-4. This is a winner, winner, chicken dinner security system lock of the week. Dawgs get a big "W" before they squash the fuzzy bees...
If you know me, you know I am a crazy devoted UGA fan. I watch them play hoops, baseball, gymnastics, anything. I also have a terribly warped sense of humor. When I saw this commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-H5Wy8TH9s, I knew what they were going for. However, after the "You can leave, but it never leaves you" segment, the first thing I said was, "I bet that was written by someone who contracted an STD while in college."
Rock on....
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The Week in News
What a week of strange news stories? I have so much to say on these, but again, I try to keep it PG and I don't want to offend peeps. I mean, even Elmo can't escape the sex scandals. I wonder if this scandalous pic is his e-harmony profile pic?
Did you hear about Hope Solo? I have always contended that Hope had less than 10 brain cells, but this recent story confirms that I was being far too generous with that assessment.http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/soccer/2012/11/14/hope-solo-fiance-assault-case-police-investigation/1705211/ Allegedly, Hope has been dating Jerramy (had to check the spelling) Stevens (formerly of the Seahawks) for 8 weeks. He has some prior arrests, but apparently a man with a record is attractive. They got engaged and to celebrate, assault charges were filed. There is absolutely nothing funny about abuse of any kind, but they got married. Did they wear matching orange jumpsuits to commemorate this event? Something tells me a visit to Dr. Phil is in order for this pair and I doubt the thank you notes for wedding gifts will be written before divorce proceedings begin. But what do I know? Congrats, I suppose.
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| "All In" an epic an colossal cluster |
The Waffle House CEO??? http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/waffle-house-ceo-responds-directly-to-sexual-haras/nS5wN/ Hello? This guy claims he is a victim of his own stupidity. I like that statement. This story actually makes me throw up in my mouth when I read it, but I can't help but wonder if the Waffle House song was playing in the background during these encounters? This will probably be one of those stories where a statement is released where the accused says something to the affect of, "This incident has brought my wife and I closer to the Lord and strengthened our union." Watch. Did I ever mention the time I took my kids to the Waffle House and someone left their teeth in the restroom? They are easy to forget and are frequently seen on "lost" posters.
If a strike isn't resolved we may be saying au revoir to
![IMAGE: Hostess is threating to shut down all operations if workers do not return to work by Thursday.]({"default":"http://col.stb.s-msn.com/amnews/i/72/D59B643B507DEAC55F2E544B0E0DC_h366_w650_m6_lfalse.jpg","fill":"http://col.stb.s-msn.com/amnews/i/72/D59B643B507DEAC55F2E544B0E0DC_h338_w600_m6_lfalse.jpg","snap":"http://col.stb.s-msn.com/amnews/i/72/D59B643B507DEAC55F2E544B0E0DC_h210_w320_m6_lfalse.jpg"} "IMAGE: Hostess is threating to shut down all operations if workers do not return to work by Thursday. (Reuters)")
Personally, I think Twinkies are disgusting but I've heard the deep fried variety are better. Why is this guy riding a twinkie? The countdown is on to see if the Twink can be salvaged.
And finally, one of my former top 5 ers (yes, it is completely juvenile but we used to have a top 5 list among some friends. One used to update his power point presentation each week but #1 was always Parker Posey and #2 was always Barbra Streisand. No, I'm not making that up. It was the way we were.) was in the news. You can tell a great deal about a person by reviewing their top 5 list. I guess congrats are in order to former tennis player, James Blake (swoon!!!). He got married this week (I'm not sending a gift) and I'm assuming it's because he finally realized we weren't going to be. Here he is before he donated his hair and with his dog.....Pass the drool cup.
Football picks tomorrow. Woof!
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Pro Picks
First, I need to apologize to Brian Griese and Lee Corso by saying they were drunk or off their meds because they picked A&M over the Tide. Sorry peeps! You were right. This means the potential for a K-State vs Oregon or ND vs. Oregon national championship game. That sounds absolutely....terrible. I still think USC may knock off ND, but K-State should definitely win out the rest of the season.
My 7 yr old daughter announced she is going to China this summer to become a star. Awesome. I guess I need to teach her to do laundry and perhaps she can take care of her mother. I can be momzilla and channel my inner Dina Lohan. And on another note, my 9 yr old son wanted to know if we were going to the White House to vote. I told him that the experience wouldn't be quite that glitzy and a trip to the middle school would have to suffice.
I love this commercial on ESPN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLp3F_xnen4
It's Week 9 so let's see how many incorrect picks I have this week.......
Oakland at Baltimore-Yes, I know. I picked the Browns in an upset last week. Remember, I had food poisoning so I'm going to claim temporary insanity. Baltimore may be banged up, but they are playing the Raiders. Ravens get the W.
Denver at Carolina-Allegedly, Ron Rivera of the Panthers has weekly meetings to determine if he gets to keep his job. I guess after last week's win over the Redskins, he was greeted with, " Good news! You stay employed for another week." I know Peyton is playing well, but I'm not sold on the Broncos and I'm certainly not sold on Cam and the Panthers. However, Steve Smith holds a special place in my heart because I remember when he punched one of his teammates in the face, then Coach John Fox (ironically now with Denver-yes, I think that was the appropriate usage of irony) said it brought the team together, Exactly. Punching someone in the face builds unity. Bey Bey and the Broncos get a win.
Giants at the Bengals-Giants took one on the chin courtesy of Big Fug Ben and company. A,J Green is a start WR. Too bad he plays for the Bengals. Giants have issues, but it's tough to count them out. G-men.
Detroit at Minnesota-So, supposedly Christian Ponder is getting slack because they are saying he is distracted by his girlfriend Samantha Steele. Nonsense. He's just not that good of a QB, but when you have AP, it keeps you in the game. Megatron is banged up so Matt Stafford has to spread the love. Vikings in a squeaker.
Buffalo at NE-Did you hear? The world is supposed to get a bit more beautiful in December when Gis give birth.
Patriots look a bit off to me this year, but Buffalo is not very good. However, props to Mario Williams for securing a phat check to do absolutely nada this season for the Bills. And geez, those interviews with Rob Gronkowski are painful...for everyone involved. But he's a great TE. Patriots get the W.
NYJ at Seattle-Love between Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria didn't last but the two remain "extremely close and amicable" (i.e-booty calls continue). Jets are bad. I'm not sure why they took Tim Tebow. But I can tell you that all promotional materials in NYC under activities to do, actually say "Watch Tim Tebow and the Jets." Uh huh. This game is in Seattle in the land of Starbucks and Seattle's best. I bet Pete Caroll is one of those annoying people who orders a grande non fat, no whip black & white, half pump sugar free cappuccino. Pretentious. Seattle gets a victory.
Dallas at Philly- I said about 3 weeks ago that I would be floored if the Eagles won 3 more games the rest of the season. They haven't won yet. This is the most difficult game to pick because these teams are the exact same. They never live up to the hype. I can't help but think Michael Vick made the o-line mad because they part like the Red Sea after the snap. Mmmmm. Oh Romo, Romo, wherefore art thou Romo. Cowboys
St Louis at San Francisco-Sam Bradford, meet the 49er defense. 49ers...big
KC at Pitt-Please! What did we do as a society to deserve this as the Monday night game? Is there a knitting convention being shown at the same time because that would be as exciting. Someone stage an intervention and stop the networks from showing the Chiefs. It's better for everyone involved. Steelers
***Game of the Week****-Houston at Chicago. Everyone is giddy about this game. Cutler is keeping the picks to a minimum and seems to be working and playing well with others right now. J.J Watt is fabulous but Texans seem more suspect on the road. Da Bears.
Falcons at the Saints-Is Sean Payton going to Dallas? Why would he want to do that? So Jerry Jones, can put a tracking device on his ankle and tell him exactly what to do. The Saints D is just horrible but this should be a shoot out. I'll take Arthur Blank in a close one.
Remember "Joanie Loves Chachi"? Yes, well we know that Scott Baio went on to continued fame with that classic "Charles In Charge." Allegedly, at one time he was an item with Joanie but then he moved on to people like Pamela Anderson and Heather Locklear. Looks like Joanie is scrappy and got into a drunken altercation with her 72 year old MIL. Did she put some vodka in her Ensure? Check it out http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/10/erin-moran-happy-days-star-homeless-broke-recluse_n_2109722.html
So, for the record, there is a video, photo, and a link to a story. Multi media baby! Go Dawgs!!!
My 7 yr old daughter announced she is going to China this summer to become a star. Awesome. I guess I need to teach her to do laundry and perhaps she can take care of her mother. I can be momzilla and channel my inner Dina Lohan. And on another note, my 9 yr old son wanted to know if we were going to the White House to vote. I told him that the experience wouldn't be quite that glitzy and a trip to the middle school would have to suffice.
I love this commercial on ESPN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLp3F_xnen4
It's Week 9 so let's see how many incorrect picks I have this week.......
Oakland at Baltimore-Yes, I know. I picked the Browns in an upset last week. Remember, I had food poisoning so I'm going to claim temporary insanity. Baltimore may be banged up, but they are playing the Raiders. Ravens get the W.
Denver at Carolina-Allegedly, Ron Rivera of the Panthers has weekly meetings to determine if he gets to keep his job. I guess after last week's win over the Redskins, he was greeted with, " Good news! You stay employed for another week." I know Peyton is playing well, but I'm not sold on the Broncos and I'm certainly not sold on Cam and the Panthers. However, Steve Smith holds a special place in my heart because I remember when he punched one of his teammates in the face, then Coach John Fox (ironically now with Denver-yes, I think that was the appropriate usage of irony) said it brought the team together, Exactly. Punching someone in the face builds unity. Bey Bey and the Broncos get a win.
Giants at the Bengals-Giants took one on the chin courtesy of Big Fug Ben and company. A,J Green is a start WR. Too bad he plays for the Bengals. Giants have issues, but it's tough to count them out. G-men.
Detroit at Minnesota-So, supposedly Christian Ponder is getting slack because they are saying he is distracted by his girlfriend Samantha Steele. Nonsense. He's just not that good of a QB, but when you have AP, it keeps you in the game. Megatron is banged up so Matt Stafford has to spread the love. Vikings in a squeaker.
Buffalo at NE-Did you hear? The world is supposed to get a bit more beautiful in December when Gis give birth.
NYJ at Seattle-Love between Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria didn't last but the two remain "extremely close and amicable" (i.e-booty calls continue). Jets are bad. I'm not sure why they took Tim Tebow. But I can tell you that all promotional materials in NYC under activities to do, actually say "Watch Tim Tebow and the Jets." Uh huh. This game is in Seattle in the land of Starbucks and Seattle's best. I bet Pete Caroll is one of those annoying people who orders a grande non fat, no whip black & white, half pump sugar free cappuccino. Pretentious. Seattle gets a victory.
Dallas at Philly- I said about 3 weeks ago that I would be floored if the Eagles won 3 more games the rest of the season. They haven't won yet. This is the most difficult game to pick because these teams are the exact same. They never live up to the hype. I can't help but think Michael Vick made the o-line mad because they part like the Red Sea after the snap. Mmmmm. Oh Romo, Romo, wherefore art thou Romo. Cowboys
St Louis at San Francisco-Sam Bradford, meet the 49er defense. 49ers...big
KC at Pitt-Please! What did we do as a society to deserve this as the Monday night game? Is there a knitting convention being shown at the same time because that would be as exciting. Someone stage an intervention and stop the networks from showing the Chiefs. It's better for everyone involved. Steelers
***Game of the Week****-Houston at Chicago. Everyone is giddy about this game. Cutler is keeping the picks to a minimum and seems to be working and playing well with others right now. J.J Watt is fabulous but Texans seem more suspect on the road. Da Bears.
Falcons at the Saints-Is Sean Payton going to Dallas? Why would he want to do that? So Jerry Jones, can put a tracking device on his ankle and tell him exactly what to do. The Saints D is just horrible but this should be a shoot out. I'll take Arthur Blank in a close one.
Remember "Joanie Loves Chachi"? Yes, well we know that Scott Baio went on to continued fame with that classic "Charles In Charge." Allegedly, at one time he was an item with Joanie but then he moved on to people like Pamela Anderson and Heather Locklear. Looks like Joanie is scrappy and got into a drunken altercation with her 72 year old MIL. Did she put some vodka in her Ensure? Check it out http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/10/erin-moran-happy-days-star-homeless-broke-recluse_n_2109722.html
So, for the record, there is a video, photo, and a link to a story. Multi media baby! Go Dawgs!!!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Insert Clever, Thought Provoking Title With College Picks
I think I've shared that I'm not a big television watcher. If it's not sports or real life mysteries, I generally don't watch. However, there is some show called "Secretly Pregnant" that I happened to catch. It's about peeps who don't want to tell their families they are with child. This one girl/lady/female (I'm not sure of the appropriate reference) was 20 and had a 2 year old child with her boyfriend. They seemed like nice enough young people. However, they broke up and he impregnated another girl. Of course, the natural thing for the mother of his child to do upon hearing this is to suggest they try to have another child. BAM. Peeing on the stick. So, this 20 year old guy was expecting 2 kids within 3 months in addition to his 2 year old. Perhaps he was going to be on the Antonio Cromartie/ Willis McGahee (aka "The Sperminator) plan? They were concerned as to how he was going to pay child support as he was only working part time at the car wash. It was depressing.
Did you hear? There was an election this week. I loved watching the talking heads (not those Talking Heads) just talk. Diane Sawyer may have slipped out to happy hour during the commercial breaks.You never know what is in the coffee mug.
For those of you playing along at home (and according to my stats, some of you actually read this blog in the wee hours of the morning. I guess this blog is a natural alternative to Ambien. I love it and am totally flattered), Diane Sawyer is Rachel Nichols of ESPN fame's mother in law. I bet Diane has Rachel listed as BABYGOTBACK in her phone. They put an extra chair at the table at Thanksgiving for the special guest known as Rachel's bootay! I turned it over to NBC to see Tom Brokaw slurring and drooling. I thought he was channeling Lou Holtz but I wanted to tell him Halloween was o-vah. And I was surprised to see that Sarah Palin looks like she has been spending some time with Snooki and J-Woww. Apparently, orange skin and bouffants are de riguer in the last frontier. Anyway, we still have 4 (sorry Louisville-you are irrelevant) unbeatens.....
Arkansas at South Carolina-Oh how the mighty have fallen. Arkansas squeaked by Tulsa last week and they are basically trying to attract a new coach-preferably one that knows what state the school is in. Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition. South Carolina lost their best player, Marcus Lattimore, in a gruesome incident against the Vols. However, Darth will out wit crazy John L Smith. Gamecocks.
Texas A&M at Alabama-I could be wrong, but I think Brian Griese just said on ESPN that A&M beats Bama. Wasn't he the guy that passed out in his car? I need to google that. Maybe I'm getting him confused with Chris Simms but regardless, he's wrong. I have spoken. Aggies have done much better than Auburn and Arkansas their first year in the SEC and trounced Mississippi State last week. Some think Bama looked vulnerable against LSU, but a W is a W, baby. I also had to google A J McCarren's mom as they were discussing her this am. And I found her. Interesting...Tide get the W
Oregon at Cal-Ducks versus the Bears. No, this particular battle won't be shown on Nat Geo Wild. I love watching the Ducks play. Their offense quacks me up. Aaron Rodgers' alma mater is bad. Ducks will waddle away with a big win.
Oregon State at Stanford-The great thing about these PAC 10, 12 or 16 games (I'm unsure of the official moniker) is that a score of 45-30 with one minute left means nothing. The game can be 56-56 in under 30 seconds. Gosh, I guess I will take the ultra smarties in this one.
Mizzou at TN-Hey Mizzou! You are in a big boy conference now so celebrate and get some decent uniforms. Call Chip Kelly at Oregon if you want to mix it up a bit. I swear Derek Dooley is going to be in treatment for anorexia before the end of the year. These 2 teams need a W, but the guy in orange near the hound dog needs one more. Big Orange gets a W.
Arizona State at USC-Oh Lane Kiffin. Everyone had such high hopes for the Trojans this year and their QB, Matt Barkley, but their defense has been a bit porous. Like a giant block of swiss cheese with extra holes. However, we can all still hold out hope that USC knocks off the Leprechans next week. This week they have to knock out the Sun Devils. And they will steal their pitchforks. Song girls get a win.
Jim Mora Jr. versus Mike Leach-Is this boxing? Did you know Mike Leach is a close friend of Donald Trump? No word on whether or not they share the same hairdresser. Mora was supposed to bring sexay (this spelling was intentional) back to the Bruins because they've been obsolete for years. Mike Leach was supposed to bring the Washington State offense to life-kind of like GE used to bring good things to life. Both coaches are annoying, but UCLA gets the win.
UGA vs Auburn-Speaking of bad, Auburn has been a special kind of awful this year racking up 2 victories against New Mexico State and an overtime win against ULM. I bet Gene Chizek thinks they installed seat warmers in his office chair. So this will be a blowout, right? It will probably be a decent game and although dog's are man's best friend, they won't be Auburn's. Dawgs seal the deal. Woof.
I'm all out of clever and thankfully on a halloween candy cleanse. One more kit kat would have made me TLC reality show material. Word up!
****Disclaimer*****
I didn't check a thing in this blog so I'm sure grammatical errors are plentiful like a cornucopia. XO
Did you hear? There was an election this week. I loved watching the talking heads (not those Talking Heads) just talk. Diane Sawyer may have slipped out to happy hour during the commercial breaks.You never know what is in the coffee mug.
For those of you playing along at home (and according to my stats, some of you actually read this blog in the wee hours of the morning. I guess this blog is a natural alternative to Ambien. I love it and am totally flattered), Diane Sawyer is Rachel Nichols of ESPN fame's mother in law. I bet Diane has Rachel listed as BABYGOTBACK in her phone. They put an extra chair at the table at Thanksgiving for the special guest known as Rachel's bootay! I turned it over to NBC to see Tom Brokaw slurring and drooling. I thought he was channeling Lou Holtz but I wanted to tell him Halloween was o-vah. And I was surprised to see that Sarah Palin looks like she has been spending some time with Snooki and J-Woww. Apparently, orange skin and bouffants are de riguer in the last frontier. Anyway, we still have 4 (sorry Louisville-you are irrelevant) unbeatens.....Arkansas at South Carolina-Oh how the mighty have fallen. Arkansas squeaked by Tulsa last week and they are basically trying to attract a new coach-preferably one that knows what state the school is in. Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition. South Carolina lost their best player, Marcus Lattimore, in a gruesome incident against the Vols. However, Darth will out wit crazy John L Smith. Gamecocks.
Texas A&M at Alabama-I could be wrong, but I think Brian Griese just said on ESPN that A&M beats Bama. Wasn't he the guy that passed out in his car? I need to google that. Maybe I'm getting him confused with Chris Simms but regardless, he's wrong. I have spoken. Aggies have done much better than Auburn and Arkansas their first year in the SEC and trounced Mississippi State last week. Some think Bama looked vulnerable against LSU, but a W is a W, baby. I also had to google A J McCarren's mom as they were discussing her this am. And I found her. Interesting...Tide get the W
Oregon at Cal-Ducks versus the Bears. No, this particular battle won't be shown on Nat Geo Wild. I love watching the Ducks play. Their offense quacks me up. Aaron Rodgers' alma mater is bad. Ducks will waddle away with a big win.
Oregon State at Stanford-The great thing about these PAC 10, 12 or 16 games (I'm unsure of the official moniker) is that a score of 45-30 with one minute left means nothing. The game can be 56-56 in under 30 seconds. Gosh, I guess I will take the ultra smarties in this one.
Mizzou at TN-Hey Mizzou! You are in a big boy conference now so celebrate and get some decent uniforms. Call Chip Kelly at Oregon if you want to mix it up a bit. I swear Derek Dooley is going to be in treatment for anorexia before the end of the year. These 2 teams need a W, but the guy in orange near the hound dog needs one more. Big Orange gets a W.
Arizona State at USC-Oh Lane Kiffin. Everyone had such high hopes for the Trojans this year and their QB, Matt Barkley, but their defense has been a bit porous. Like a giant block of swiss cheese with extra holes. However, we can all still hold out hope that USC knocks off the Leprechans next week. This week they have to knock out the Sun Devils. And they will steal their pitchforks. Song girls get a win.
Jim Mora Jr. versus Mike Leach-Is this boxing? Did you know Mike Leach is a close friend of Donald Trump? No word on whether or not they share the same hairdresser. Mora was supposed to bring sexay (this spelling was intentional) back to the Bruins because they've been obsolete for years. Mike Leach was supposed to bring the Washington State offense to life-kind of like GE used to bring good things to life. Both coaches are annoying, but UCLA gets the win.
UGA vs Auburn-Speaking of bad, Auburn has been a special kind of awful this year racking up 2 victories against New Mexico State and an overtime win against ULM. I bet Gene Chizek thinks they installed seat warmers in his office chair. So this will be a blowout, right? It will probably be a decent game and although dog's are man's best friend, they won't be Auburn's. Dawgs seal the deal. Woof.
I'm all out of clever and thankfully on a halloween candy cleanse. One more kit kat would have made me TLC reality show material. Word up!
****Disclaimer*****
I didn't check a thing in this blog so I'm sure grammatical errors are plentiful like a cornucopia. XO
Monday, November 5, 2012
Left, Right or Independent? Yes, It's That Time
I'm about to say something which will cause many to gasp and roll their eyes....ready? I've never voted before. I'm registered, but I've never voted and plan to tomorrow. ******Disclaimer*******These are just my thoughts and what do I know? Yes, there are certain issues which I fell rather strongly about, but people just get so snippy and hateful when it comes to anything political that I just try to avoid those particular discussions. Comments such as, "You are stupid if you don't vote xxxxx" or "You are an idiot if you yyyyyyyy." These types of comments are frequently disguised as being "passionate" or "spirited" when in reality they are disrespectful and rude. I'm many, many, many things but one thing I'm not is stupid. Goofy, yes. Quirky, yes. OCD, yes. Stupid, nada. This is precisely why I discuss meaningful topics such as Posh Spice or "Around the Horn." As as result, I haven't participated and I realize many think this is not serving my civic duty. Again, I have such a laundry list of flaws both real and perceived. EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion and I try to respect everyone's beliefs (and love it when someone can present an argument and back it up with facts-real facts). However, I am so OVER the incessant hatred. For the record, I grew up in a very southern family and I've had my own views for as long as I can remember. It has been and continues to be a source of contention. I didn't believe something because my parents did, although I'm sure they wished I did. I can give so many examples of differences, but that is an entirely different blog.
Friday night I received 33 (yes, 33!!!!) from various political organizations trying to.....I'm not sure what they were trying to do. I had both lines going at one time. I swore that someone had posted my number in a call center chat room in retaliation for something I had done. Who did this? Can I report this to Nancy Grace? What had I done? Was I being punished for picking up the last jar of Skippy Super Chunk at Publix? Was I supposed to leave this for someone else? Was I being punished for saying that I hoped Notre Dame lost? Was the universe mad at me for eating the last ice cream sandwich in the summer of 1984 because I knew my brother wanted it? Isn't that what little sisters are supposed to do? I don't believe in coincidences so clearly these overzealous callers will share something insightful with me, right?
One call started off with a very exaggerated, "Hello. Do you enjoy living and working amongst terrorists?" What???? This is seriously a question? Another one involved a 3 question survey, but I only heard question 1 (more on that in a minute). The question was something along the line of, "do you agree with Billy Graham that one of the most important things we need to protect is the sanctity of marriage? Press 1 to agree and 2 to disagree." They didn't like my answer and hung up on me. HARSH! I wish I could have answered this question as this is one topic I LOVE discussing with anyone. I won't shy away from this one and it's right up there with discussions of Jessica Simpson and who gets into the BCS championship game if there are 4 undefeateds. But to dissect the question a bit further, I don't know Billy Graham (I know who he is) so why would I need his guidance on my decision making? No offense, but I'm quite capable of making up my own mind. That is part of the problem in our culture. We are always looking for answers from someone else. However, they were a relentless bunch and called back 2 more times perhaps looking for a different answer.
My favorite call started off with, "Mr. George?" I told them they had the wrong number. I received an apology and another call back. 2nd time. "Mr. George?" 'No, I'm still not Mr. George. Wrong Number." (I should have just said I was Boy George for entertainment purposes.) 3rd time. I said, "Do I sound like Mr. George? Wait, let me get my testosterone." Maybe they had me confused with one of those Balco clients. Let's just say I was relieved when the calls ended.
Anyway, I admire and respect that many are so passionate about political topics. I love a nice spirited discussion as well, but any conversation that includes quotes from Pat Robertson is a no-go for me......Love to my peeps of all political affiliations. And if I'm unfriended after this fairly neutral post, oh well. XO
Red, white and blue, baby!
Friday night I received 33 (yes, 33!!!!) from various political organizations trying to.....I'm not sure what they were trying to do. I had both lines going at one time. I swore that someone had posted my number in a call center chat room in retaliation for something I had done. Who did this? Can I report this to Nancy Grace? What had I done? Was I being punished for picking up the last jar of Skippy Super Chunk at Publix? Was I supposed to leave this for someone else? Was I being punished for saying that I hoped Notre Dame lost? Was the universe mad at me for eating the last ice cream sandwich in the summer of 1984 because I knew my brother wanted it? Isn't that what little sisters are supposed to do? I don't believe in coincidences so clearly these overzealous callers will share something insightful with me, right?
One call started off with a very exaggerated, "Hello. Do you enjoy living and working amongst terrorists?" What???? This is seriously a question? Another one involved a 3 question survey, but I only heard question 1 (more on that in a minute). The question was something along the line of, "do you agree with Billy Graham that one of the most important things we need to protect is the sanctity of marriage? Press 1 to agree and 2 to disagree." They didn't like my answer and hung up on me. HARSH! I wish I could have answered this question as this is one topic I LOVE discussing with anyone. I won't shy away from this one and it's right up there with discussions of Jessica Simpson and who gets into the BCS championship game if there are 4 undefeateds. But to dissect the question a bit further, I don't know Billy Graham (I know who he is) so why would I need his guidance on my decision making? No offense, but I'm quite capable of making up my own mind. That is part of the problem in our culture. We are always looking for answers from someone else. However, they were a relentless bunch and called back 2 more times perhaps looking for a different answer.
My favorite call started off with, "Mr. George?" I told them they had the wrong number. I received an apology and another call back. 2nd time. "Mr. George?" 'No, I'm still not Mr. George. Wrong Number." (I should have just said I was Boy George for entertainment purposes.) 3rd time. I said, "Do I sound like Mr. George? Wait, let me get my testosterone." Maybe they had me confused with one of those Balco clients. Let's just say I was relieved when the calls ended.
Anyway, I admire and respect that many are so passionate about political topics. I love a nice spirited discussion as well, but any conversation that includes quotes from Pat Robertson is a no-go for me......Love to my peeps of all political affiliations. And if I'm unfriended after this fairly neutral post, oh well. XO
Red, white and blue, baby!
Saturday, November 3, 2012
When the Halloween Candy Dwindles and Pro Picks
Did you hear that? Yes, it's the football angels rejoicing because ND remains undefeated. I wasn't thinking on some of my picks (MD and Miss State. I will take full credit for any other misses as I read about those 2 games) and for once read someone else's picks before making my own. Shame on me. Never listen to someone who is paid to pick games. I'll stick to the au natural method.
My two year old looked in his halloween pumpkin and sighed, "but there isn't much left." I didn't tell him it was because he has been eating candy non stop. Oh, and I should confess. I'm the mother who encourages the kids to eat all of the candy as quickly as possible because I don't want to hear about it. Eat it and move on. Or back to "apple cores and twigs" as my daughter says. I told my 2 year old you have to pace yourself if you want it to last longer. Apparently, he took that suggestion to heart because he proceeded to take candy out of his brother's and sister's baskets and put it in his own. He then clapped and said "Good job!" Resourceful isn't he?
There are many teams in the NFL short on resourcefulness, so let me see who is playing according to the oft maligned peeps at nfl.com.
Denver at Bunglemania- Everyone is on the Bronco bandwagon and it's great to see Peyton Manning play well. I bet Peyton would love to have a receiver like AJ Green, you know? Still not buying the Broncos and the Bunbles are sketchy as usual. This one is difficult. Mmmmm. I guess I will take the Bengals in a close one in what I'm guessing is an upset. Why? Why not?
Baltimore at Cleveland-Isn't just about everyone on the Raven's D except for Ed Reed ? They looked awful against the Texans and the Brownies just secured win number 2. Your mama is a llama! Why do I think the Browns will win? I just feel the Ravens have been decimated by injuries so I'm taking the Browns and their AARP QB. Yes, we can all laugh together when the Browns lose by 40.
Arizona at GB-Oh the Cardinals. Larry Fitzgerald is fabulous but too bad no one can throw the ball to him. I say the Packers do their discount double check dance.
Detroit at Jacksonville-Did you hear that Jacksonville's offense, aka Maurice Jones Drew, got hurt? Detroit only scores in the 4th quarter and I just adore Matthew Stafford. Dude needs a little help like maybe a running game. Do they even have a running back in Detroit? This is exactly the kind of game where the Lions lay an egg. But, I say Lions get the win with a late score.
Carolina at Washington-Is it time for Cam to turn that frown upside down? Perhaps not yet and I heard that the Panther's coach, Ron Rivera is in the Norv Turner "week to week" club. Sounds like he is hooked up to life support. I like RG3 and I think the Redskins win a super duper close one.
Pitt at the Giants-Bigfoot or Elmer? I can't bet against a guy who wears sweater vests in his post game interview. Eli and Cruz do a salsa dance.
TB at Oakland-Isn't there such parity in the NFL? There are some really bad teams. This week people are trying to convince us that TB is "hot". Freeman has been playing well and Ronde Barber is great. Hot might be a stretch. Let's try tepid. Kind of like when you put the Ben & Jerry's in the microwave for a few seconds so you can eat it out of the container with greater ease. I'll give the Bucs that level of heat. Raiders are, well the Raiders. But they do have devout fans and you never know which Carson Palmer shows up to play. Rayduhs
Chicago at TN-What's up with that new commercial with Jay Cutler? And I don't get the Urlacher thing either and perhaps it's because the man date Paris Hilton. I bet they were splitting atoms. Titans have looked decent with Hassleback at QB, but I think the Bears win an ugly game.
Philadelphia at NO- Two shoulda, coulda, woulda teams. Mike Vick may be on the hot seat but it beats being in the big house. His o-line parts like the Red Sea when he drops back which makes me wonder if he told them to use one of his financial advisor's named Ron Mexico. I kid! That's in the past and I like watching Michael Vick play, but it's been a challenge seeing him in the upright position. Drew Brees has the highest "like" factor of any professional athlete and I commend the man for saying au revoir to the Chargers. I just don't know on this one. They both have so much talent but have looked horrible. Eagles?
****Winner-Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****
Dallas at Atlanta- Oh the Cowboys. Did you hear they are opening a Victoria's Secret at Jerry World? But this is at the Arthur Blank Dome so no wings or sequins will be present unless any of the, ahem, "Real Housewives of Atlanta" are at the game. Listen, Tony Romo seems like a nice guy and I've heard he's a great tipper. Love Demarcus Ware and yes, I can admit I'm older than Dez Bryant's mother. But magic seems to happen at the GA Dome. Falcons get a "W" in the last few seconds of the game.
For the record, the best thing about the USC-Oregon game is that it's a) sponsored by Reese's peanut butter cups and b)it gives me an opportunity to work on my various duck references for future games. I have to waddle through all of these ideas. Next up? An election blog on Monday..Be there or be square.
My two year old looked in his halloween pumpkin and sighed, "but there isn't much left." I didn't tell him it was because he has been eating candy non stop. Oh, and I should confess. I'm the mother who encourages the kids to eat all of the candy as quickly as possible because I don't want to hear about it. Eat it and move on. Or back to "apple cores and twigs" as my daughter says. I told my 2 year old you have to pace yourself if you want it to last longer. Apparently, he took that suggestion to heart because he proceeded to take candy out of his brother's and sister's baskets and put it in his own. He then clapped and said "Good job!" Resourceful isn't he?
There are many teams in the NFL short on resourcefulness, so let me see who is playing according to the oft maligned peeps at nfl.com.
Denver at Bunglemania- Everyone is on the Bronco bandwagon and it's great to see Peyton Manning play well. I bet Peyton would love to have a receiver like AJ Green, you know? Still not buying the Broncos and the Bunbles are sketchy as usual. This one is difficult. Mmmmm. I guess I will take the Bengals in a close one in what I'm guessing is an upset. Why? Why not?
Baltimore at Cleveland-Isn't just about everyone on the Raven's D except for Ed Reed ? They looked awful against the Texans and the Brownies just secured win number 2. Your mama is a llama! Why do I think the Browns will win? I just feel the Ravens have been decimated by injuries so I'm taking the Browns and their AARP QB. Yes, we can all laugh together when the Browns lose by 40.
Arizona at GB-Oh the Cardinals. Larry Fitzgerald is fabulous but too bad no one can throw the ball to him. I say the Packers do their discount double check dance.
Detroit at Jacksonville-Did you hear that Jacksonville's offense, aka Maurice Jones Drew, got hurt? Detroit only scores in the 4th quarter and I just adore Matthew Stafford. Dude needs a little help like maybe a running game. Do they even have a running back in Detroit? This is exactly the kind of game where the Lions lay an egg. But, I say Lions get the win with a late score.
Carolina at Washington-Is it time for Cam to turn that frown upside down? Perhaps not yet and I heard that the Panther's coach, Ron Rivera is in the Norv Turner "week to week" club. Sounds like he is hooked up to life support. I like RG3 and I think the Redskins win a super duper close one.
Pitt at the Giants-Bigfoot or Elmer? I can't bet against a guy who wears sweater vests in his post game interview. Eli and Cruz do a salsa dance.
TB at Oakland-Isn't there such parity in the NFL? There are some really bad teams. This week people are trying to convince us that TB is "hot". Freeman has been playing well and Ronde Barber is great. Hot might be a stretch. Let's try tepid. Kind of like when you put the Ben & Jerry's in the microwave for a few seconds so you can eat it out of the container with greater ease. I'll give the Bucs that level of heat. Raiders are, well the Raiders. But they do have devout fans and you never know which Carson Palmer shows up to play. Rayduhs
Chicago at TN-What's up with that new commercial with Jay Cutler? And I don't get the Urlacher thing either and perhaps it's because the man date Paris Hilton. I bet they were splitting atoms. Titans have looked decent with Hassleback at QB, but I think the Bears win an ugly game.
Philadelphia at NO- Two shoulda, coulda, woulda teams. Mike Vick may be on the hot seat but it beats being in the big house. His o-line parts like the Red Sea when he drops back which makes me wonder if he told them to use one of his financial advisor's named Ron Mexico. I kid! That's in the past and I like watching Michael Vick play, but it's been a challenge seeing him in the upright position. Drew Brees has the highest "like" factor of any professional athlete and I commend the man for saying au revoir to the Chargers. I just don't know on this one. They both have so much talent but have looked horrible. Eagles?
****Winner-Winner Chicken Dinner Game of the Week*****
Dallas at Atlanta- Oh the Cowboys. Did you hear they are opening a Victoria's Secret at Jerry World? But this is at the Arthur Blank Dome so no wings or sequins will be present unless any of the, ahem, "Real Housewives of Atlanta" are at the game. Listen, Tony Romo seems like a nice guy and I've heard he's a great tipper. Love Demarcus Ware and yes, I can admit I'm older than Dez Bryant's mother. But magic seems to happen at the GA Dome. Falcons get a "W" in the last few seconds of the game.
For the record, the best thing about the USC-Oregon game is that it's a) sponsored by Reese's peanut butter cups and b)it gives me an opportunity to work on my various duck references for future games. I have to waddle through all of these ideas. Next up? An election blog on Monday..Be there or be square.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Picks
I will go ahead and admit I'm not 100% myself (maybe 60%-thanks food poisoning), but I have an obligation to make incorrect picks for my raving fans. I could talk about Sandy and the upcoming election, but I will keep it light. Hopefully, you didn't give out all the good Halloween candy and kept the Skittles for yourself. I would also like to say I'm a bit loopy, so the humor will be discounted.
Btw, did anyone see the Chiefs last night? They should just fold up and call it a year. They garner an A+ for bad.While writing this, my husband is watching an uplifting episode of "Monsters Inside Me." We are sparkly, "Shiny Happy People" in this house.
Alabama at LSU-This gets the winner winner chicken dinner game of the week. Alabama has quietly taken care of business while LSU has a sketchy offense-meaning, they have a difficult time scoring TDs. Generally, I say never go against Les Miles. But enter Nick Saban, and you definitely don't go against him. The crowd will be rowdy in Bobby Bouchet land, but I look for the Tide to stay perfect.
Oregon at USC-Is this the week we find out if the Ducks are all they are quacked up to be? Probably not. 12 year old Lane Kiffin heads up a Trojan team that has underperformed. Remember when Matt Barkley was going to win the Heisman? Yeah, he's not. This is the PAC 10 or PAC 20 or whatever they are calling themselves now, so this could be a high scoring, no D kind of game. However, USC won't ruffle their feathers. Chip Kelly and the quack attack gets the W.
Oklahoma State at Kansas State- I said I couldn't buy K State last week because there was something off about them. Guess I have to change that line of thinking because their remaining schedule definitely favors them going undefeated. The Cowboys won't knock them off.. K State
Pittsburgh at ND-Mmmmmm. I'm not sold on Notre Dame, but I admit their defense is nice. Pittsburgh lost to Youngstown State and I haven't forgotten that. Some peeps like Pitt in an upset. I cannot with any kind of conscience pick a team that lost to Youngstown State to beat an undefeated team this late in the season. Golden domers.
Texas A&M vs Mississippi State-This one is tough. The Bulldogs got drummed by Bama last week while the Aggies look like a nice addition to the SEC. The Bulldogs in a squeaker
Ole Miss at UGA-UGA surprised me by winning against the Gators last week. Elmer's alma mater isn't bad, but the Dawgs get the W.
*****Game of the Week********
GT at Maryland-What you say? Why on earth is this the game of the week? The Terps have lost their 4 scholarship QBs and are starting a linebacker at QB. He is backed up by a walk on tight end. This has all the makings of "Remember the Titans", right? GT has had a baaaaaad season with the high lowlight being losing to Middle TN State. At home. By 21. GT should win this one right? I mean a LB at QB? I'm torn. I'll take the Terps in the ultimate squeaker.
Btw, did anyone see the Chiefs last night? They should just fold up and call it a year. They garner an A+ for bad.While writing this, my husband is watching an uplifting episode of "Monsters Inside Me." We are sparkly, "Shiny Happy People" in this house.
Alabama at LSU-This gets the winner winner chicken dinner game of the week. Alabama has quietly taken care of business while LSU has a sketchy offense-meaning, they have a difficult time scoring TDs. Generally, I say never go against Les Miles. But enter Nick Saban, and you definitely don't go against him. The crowd will be rowdy in Bobby Bouchet land, but I look for the Tide to stay perfect.
Oregon at USC-Is this the week we find out if the Ducks are all they are quacked up to be? Probably not. 12 year old Lane Kiffin heads up a Trojan team that has underperformed. Remember when Matt Barkley was going to win the Heisman? Yeah, he's not. This is the PAC 10 or PAC 20 or whatever they are calling themselves now, so this could be a high scoring, no D kind of game. However, USC won't ruffle their feathers. Chip Kelly and the quack attack gets the W.
Oklahoma State at Kansas State- I said I couldn't buy K State last week because there was something off about them. Guess I have to change that line of thinking because their remaining schedule definitely favors them going undefeated. The Cowboys won't knock them off.. K State
Pittsburgh at ND-Mmmmmm. I'm not sold on Notre Dame, but I admit their defense is nice. Pittsburgh lost to Youngstown State and I haven't forgotten that. Some peeps like Pitt in an upset. I cannot with any kind of conscience pick a team that lost to Youngstown State to beat an undefeated team this late in the season. Golden domers.
Texas A&M vs Mississippi State-This one is tough. The Bulldogs got drummed by Bama last week while the Aggies look like a nice addition to the SEC. The Bulldogs in a squeaker
Ole Miss at UGA-UGA surprised me by winning against the Gators last week. Elmer's alma mater isn't bad, but the Dawgs get the W.
*****Game of the Week********
GT at Maryland-What you say? Why on earth is this the game of the week? The Terps have lost their 4 scholarship QBs and are starting a linebacker at QB. He is backed up by a walk on tight end. This has all the makings of "Remember the Titans", right? GT has had a baaaaaad season with the high lowlight being losing to Middle TN State. At home. By 21. GT should win this one right? I mean a LB at QB? I'm torn. I'll take the Terps in the ultimate squeaker.
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