I give you Leonardo DiCaprio, who left a club with not 1, not 2, not even 5 women. Old boy shattered the infamous black book and left with 20 models. What is Leo doing??? Slaying it!!!! (A term that makes me laugh out loud anytime I say or type it). Why yes that is 16 year old boy humor.
So, tomorrow I will be another year older. Another year wiser (that's actually subject to opinion). Another year... Well. Alive. Living. Happily living. And that my friends IS a wonderful thing.
Here's the abbreviated version of what happened since my last birthday for those of you who missed the Lifetime Movie version starring Jennie Garth. Ready????
Attempted to train then 3 yr old to poop on potty. Got trendy license plate. 2 weeks later totaled car so trendy license plate was deemed useless. Laugh hysterically. Got hybrid. Feel like bad a$$ being able to drive to Quebec on one tank of gas. Ok that's a stretch. Got an extra closet due to divorce. Hails to the yeah said my shoe collection! Took kids to Disney. Laugh hysterically. Have great respect for Animal Kingdom as they do it up right by offering a RhinoRita. Was overwhelmed by generosity and kindness on said trip. Felt the extended family needed to be water boarded and took family vacation to Dollywood. 4 yr old old has epic breakdown in candy store. Dr. Phil not available. Heat wave that week. Rode roller coasters. Did not puke. Attempt to train now 4 year old to poop on toilet. Come home from vacation to a dark green pool. Take selfie with the Loch Ness monster. Cat brings me dead snake. Laugh hysterically. Decide I must go on another vacation. Take kids back to Dollywood because I have season pass and I will get money's worth even if we all need to be institutionalized. Only cry once during trip because it's a waste of energy and my mascara is not waterproof. . Laugh hysterically. Kids start back to school. Survive science project. Tell 4 yr old he can go to kindergarten if he poops in potty. He gives me 2 finger salute. Survive book reports. Have blow out on highway during rush hour. Rescued by very nice gang members. Cat brings me dead squirrel. UGA loses to USC. Sigh. Cat brings me dead mouse. Manage not to pull hair out living with preteen girl. Boy Scouts start back. Boy Scout mothers still give me the eye. Laugh hysterically. Catch up with old friends. New friends offer support. I remind friends not to remind me of some of things I do and say at this juncture in my life. Have baby with Ryan Gosling. Oops. That was Eva Mendes. UGA loses to Florida. Watch season 7 of Curious George. Am starting to look forward to next episode. Wonder if Christian Bale would play Man in the Yellow Hat should this come to the big screen. Cat brings me dead wood pecker. Realize it's December. Sing along with crowd in Kohls to that Taylor Swift song. Wonder why I didn't end up on Broadway. 4 year old still pooping in pants. Am wondering if I should buy stock in Febreeze. Decide I'm going to get myself cake AND 2 flavors of ice cream for my birthday. Let kids help but I make final decision. Why? Because I can. And I got a hazelnut cream cake with cream cheese frosting. YAY!
There ya go. The year in a nutshell. Best presents are my 3 kids, my dog, cat, family and wonderful friends. I swear I'm sashaying my way to normal. Whatever that is. The sashay and you know....normal.
Yep. Happy Birthday to me! I'm thankful for another day and I WILL enjoy it.
Xoxo
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