College Picks

Happy Friday eve!  My 2 year old announced in a store the other day that he "loves boobies." I'm not sure what brought this on but perhaps he heard me discussing bras. Mmmm. I didn't know what to say to that. I just took the smile and nod approach. Isn't that better than saying "I like to eat poop?" Everything is so relative with little peeps.

I've also decided that it may be time to retire the pineapple. That is what it's called when I pull my hair on top of my head with either a clip or pony tail holder. I have been wearing my hair that way for 20 years and in addition to the permanent indention I have in my head and the cost effective, temporary facelift it provides, people look at you like you are insane when your hair is like that. They are talking to you and staring at the top of your head. Hello! It makes me taller. I have even passed the tradition on to my daughter. Lucky her. Every few years, I will see that this  pineapple "look" is  a hit on the runways in Milan and Paris and it makes me feel so revolutionary , like I invented it. Right. Unless entering Target is considered walking the catwalk, that comparison is rather meaningless. Oh, and  I'm delighted that it's October. This means at any time you can find "Children of the Corn", "Saws1 thru 24" and "Halloween-Michael Myers is an Evil Bitch That Won't Die Even  After Being Hit by a Train During a Nuclear Explosion"  on television.  However, the Halloween theme song is pure genius. If I was a figure skater, I would skate to that in the long program.

Let's see who is up this week...

Speaking of costumes, Darth Visor pays a visit to the Swamp to play Will Muschamp and the Gators. Allegedly, Marcus Lattimore won't play and the Gamecocks fizzled out (just as I said) against LSU. I hate to say it but I have to go with the Gators. Chomp.

Kansas State at WVU-This should be high scoring even though the Mountaineers were silenced by the fighting Tommy Tubervilles.  These 2 teams bore me, but I expect the Mountaineers to bounce back at home in a close one. This means they will actually go out and throw up on the field to spite me. Mountaineers

LSU at Texas A&M- A&M is definitely a more competitive addition than Mizzou and their hideous uniforms. A&M is good at home, but I have a difficult time picking against LSU. I will say Les is more.

Michigan State at Michigan-It's a meeting of mediocre and mediocre state. Both of these teams have underwhelmed and the winner will set a couch on fire (yes, that will happen in Morgantown too because nothing says "good times" like burning a sectional." Denard Robinson was supposed to be a Heisman contender but this sentence is as close as he will get to the Heisman. Michigan? I sound confident don't I?

Alabama at TN-There has not been much playing of "Rocky Top" in Knoxville this year, and I doubt the extended dance mix version will be played this weekend either. Poor Derek Dooley had hip surgery and something tells me he is short for the orange world. Perhaps they are making way for Bobby Petrino and his moped? If Bobby isn't available, it sounds like Lance Armstrong may be seeking new opportunities. AJ McCarran and the Tide crack this one open in the 2nd half and roll.

Boston College at GT-Here is the fuzzy Bees chance to save a little face after losing to Middle TN state earlier in the year. You have Boston College coming to town who just lost to Army, who lost to Stony Brook. Riiiiiiiight. GT gets a much needed "W."

Auburn at Vandy-I'm going to wager a guess and say that Gene Chizik feels like he is sitting on a George Foreman grill. If I'm remembering correctly, they beat UL-Monroe in OT and that's all folks.(Subtle shout out to the icon known as Porky Pig).  A kind word or two about Auburn. It's a gorgeous campus with some nice peeps.  I was there when I was 7 months pregnant with my last son. I was literally overwhelmed with how polite these college kids were. Either I reminded them of their mother or it was the boobs. Couldn't have been the boobs because these kids get plastic surgery for their 16th birthday now.  Regardless, I (aka known as Grimace) was treated with kindness. Vandy has looked good in most of their games and the winner is.....Jay Cutler's alma mater.

And my winner, winner chicken dinner game of the week is UGA vs Kentucky. Joker Phillips is probably feeling anything but festive with 1 win under his belt. Something tells me he will be able to have coffee with Derek Dooley soon. UGA is coming off a bye, and I hope the defense stops thinking about how they will be playing with the Bengals next year. May be close in the beginning, but Aaron "Andy" Murray and the Dawgs will get it together. I'm committing to the G on this one. Go Dawgs!