I can't wait until the temps drop so I can crack out the tall boots. If you follow along, you know that utter and complete bliss to me is a pair of really cool boots that fit over my ginormous calves. Cape quest 2012 continues as the one I saw in a magazine the other day cost $6700. No decimal is missing from that price. Even if I was swimming in benjamins, I wouldn't pay that kind of money for a cape. I can just wrap myself in my snuggie which was clearly designed for someone of LeBron James' stature and pretend I'm an equestrian.
As a side note, as I'm watching Thursday night NFL, it looks like it will be Elmer, with the cardigan sweater in the victory formation. Yeah, remember that Greg "I built that juggernaut known as Rutgers" Schiano.... They are also playing "Dead or Alive" during half time so that sounds a bit ominous for Cam and the home team.
Last week I was 4-3, so that makes me 17-4 on the season in college picks. So, I've consulted the crystal ball and my peeps at cfn.scout.com to see who is playing where because I've been busy discussing Amanda Bynes, Dina Lohan, and trying not to have an aneurism due to the antics of my 7 year old daughter. So let's see if I drop the anvil this week on these picks...
Michigan at ND-This is a game that makes prognosticators salivate. Seriously. They want both of these teams to play for a national title each year. Did you know Steve Spurrier, Bob Stoops, Lou Holtz, and Mark Mangino (the guy that bore a striking resemblance to Grimace that coached Kansas) are best of friends? I wonder if anyone ever hands Lou a bib and encourages him to dress up like Sylvester the cat at Halloween? Anyway, I thought Brent Musberger (sp?-too lazy to google) was going to cry as he pulled up the Irish schedule last week during ND-Michigan State. "Folks. Do you realize the Irish could go undefeated?" Totally, Brent. And do you realize I could have been a Victoria's Secret swimsuit model if I was 8 inches taller, 20 pounds thinner, and had over $100k in plastic surgery procedures? Exactly. ND beat Michigan State (land of the celebratory couch burnings) so can they defeat the other Big 10 team from the Wolverine state? Hmmmmm. Gosh. I'm taking Michigan in an upset based on the fact ND's coach always looks drunk.
Clemson vs FSU- These 2 coaches have two of my favorite names....Dabo vs Jimbo. Where is Honey Boo Boo when you need her? Since VA Tech lost to Pitt (the ultimate shame) last week, the ACC is ripe for the taking. Perhaps. It's the ACC (sometimes I think it's the all crap conference) so you never know. I say the spirit of Bobby Bowden will rise up at Doak Campbell and deliver a W for the Noles.
Rutgers at Arkansas-Typically, this wouldn't make the list, but John L Smith has managed to make the Hogs the collegiate version of hard knocks. He sounds like Amanda Bynes during his press conferences and may be speaking to inanimate objects as well. No, it appears he's talking to players but they have tuned him out. Perhaps they should watch "Remember the Titans" and maybe Sunshine will magically appear on the field and lead Woo Pig Sooey to their first win. They looked absolutely atrocious last week. I don't know anything about Rutgers this year, but I'm taking them in a close game. What??? Am I really doing that?
Kansas State at Oklahoma-Kansas State put a hurting on da U. Oklahoma will choke, but I don't think it happens this week. Laundry Jones and Boomer sooner baby!
Miami vs GT- GT was not cavalier about their victory over UVA while the Canes beat Bethune-Cookman. Al Golden's team appears to have a multitude of issues. Alex, I'll take Jackets for $1 for the W.
Mizzou at South Carolina-Gary Pinkel meet Darth Visor. Gamecocks get the win.
Syracuse at Minnesota-Will anyone be watching this game? The last time Syracuse was good was when there was a guy named McNabb at QB and I think (again not fact checking) Dwight Freeney was an Orangeman as well? One of the best malls in America is in Syracuse and they have townships. Me loves the term township. I'll take the Orangemen over the Gophers.
LSU at Auburn- Honeybadger, honeythief, honey boo-boo, honey nut cheerios, it's all the same. Only the names have changed. Auburn had to go to OT to be Louisiana-Monroe. Maybe Brittany Spears will sing the national anthem? Oops I did it again. Auburn will wish they had some of that purple drank with a shot of NyQuil mixed in with those jolly ranchers. Tigers and I'll be specific in the kind...Bayou Bengals get a victory.
UGA vs Vandy-You know my husband says I never understand what's happening in movies or tv shows because I'm not paying attention. It's taken him this long to figure that out? Duh! I don't care about finding Bigfoot. He also says he has no idea what half the words I use mean. That's because I make them up. I'll be releasing my very own version of the dictionary later this year in time for the holidays so order now. UGA beat the Owls of FAU (who get the joy of playing Alabama this week) while Vandy played SC close on the opening Thursday night game. Vandy's D is nice, but I expect Gurley to surely leap into the end zone a couple of times. GO DAWGS!
I was 3-7 on my pro picks last week (can I get an O-U-C-H), but I will redeem myself with picks tomorrow. I leave you with a link to Jay Cutler's offspring. http://celebritybabies.people.com/2012/09/20/kristin-cavallari-camden-labor-delivery-story/#more-169590
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