Hola! Has it really been that long? I promise I will be better because that scent in the air is that of football. I'm going to give everyone the speed demon version of what has happened since I last blogged.....
I have bonded with a coworker at work. She confessed that she had a crush on Prince Harry and I immediately decided to accept her in the circle of inner trust. On another note, I hate it when I go to a meeting and someone's butt creeps into my chair. Keep your butt to yourself. Personal space.
I went on the family vacation for the first time in 7 years. 6 adults, 5 kids and at no time did I see Maureen Maher of "48 Hours Hard Evidence" following us. The great thing about going places with 5 kids is that I had 2 additional kids to follow me into the bathroom. The more the merrier, right? For the most part, everyone behaved, although I thought I was going to have to have my husband hauled away one day. If I could have put him in a strait jacket, then I most certainly would have. Trust me. My mother in law and brother in law are reading this, smiling, and nodding their head in agreement.
On return, I had this sore on my leg that isn't healing so I pay a visit to the dermatologist. Mind you, I just visited him 6 weeks earlier for a skin exam to which he declared, "You don't need to be so concerned about melanoma (I am) as you are what I would consider low risk." What does he say when I show him said sore? "That could be amelanotic melanoma." Wtf???? Fortunately, the biopsy said this was just scar tissue (thank you!) but this pushed me to clean out my closets and donate more stuff to good will. People, check your skin. It's your largest organ.
Last, week while driving to work I hear this strange noise. Mmmm. Where is this strange noise coming from and what is that burning smell? I decide to glance at my dashboard and notice the needle is way past the HOT. Holy long list of bad words is what I said! I pull off the road and waited for my husband to take me to pick up my electric blue rental car.$967 later, the car is back in action.
This weekend I went to see the parents. My daughter made me ultra nervous by referring to me as "one cheap mother." I was beyond relieved when there was not a word that followed "mother." You just never know what they will say. I'm frugal. Last night, my dad commented to my daughter that her hair was getting very long and that a little girl in a neighboring town got her hair caught in a tractor and ripped off her scalp. However, she had been transferred to a larger hospital and was doing well. What???? Is this the new bed time story? Couldn't he have just said she was starting to look like Rapunzel? I mean, it's a horrible story but then I had to answer a multitude of questions from a 7 year old wondering if the same would happen to her.
Finally, after going to bed, I am awakened at midnight by several people laughing and screaming. I look out the window but see them get in their cars and disperse a few minutes later. At 2:30 am, I almost poo on myself because I look out the window and there are at least 40 people in my parents' very small front yard. And trust me, my parents weren't having a party and why is no one else awakened by this? There are 14 cars and over 40 people a couple of feet from the window. What to do? Actually, what are these people going to do and why are they next to the window at 2:30 am? So, I guessed this is when you are supposed to call 911? The 911 operator asked what I thought they were doing. Was I supposed to step out and ask? Do I look like Miss Cleo? I don't know what they are doing but I'm wondering why they are outside the window. I don't bother to tell the 911 operator that I am terrified of any kind of weaponry and feel faint when I see a plastic picnic knife or firecracker. About 15 minutes later they left, but I was a bit panicky and wasn't trying to be difficult, but with 3 little people, I just felt nervous. There is another story as to why it made me nervous, but eh, not necessary....
And boot quest 2012 is over. Yes, I have to find boots (off season because they are cheaper) for the calf challenged. I have freakishly ginormous calves. This was clear to me in 5th grade when I ripped the seams of my Calvin Klein jeans at the calf. Something did come between me and my Calvins and it was my calves. Cape quest continues. However, cape quest has been going on for around 8 years so I don't see it being resolved any time soon.
That's it....That's my excitement. I'd rather talk about football.
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