Tests

I have taken several tests the over the last couple of months. Personality tests, aptitude tests, Wonderlics (too bad I am not prepping for the  NFL combine because apparently I would school the LSU player who scored a 4), diagnostic tests, environmental tests, and the Jeopardy online test.  More on Jeopardy later or should I say, "what is more on Jeopardy later?"

Who designs some of these tests which apparently give the world an idea of how we work and play well with others? For example, one question repeatedly asked was "are you interested in learning to walk a tightrope?" Seriously? Is Ringling Brothers desperate for talent? If I answer yes should I expect a man with a top hat to ring the doorbell within seconds?  Is that dream of working with Cirque du Soleil back in the picture? I think not. I'm sure that question has something to do with risk assessment and how daring you are, but last time I checked the tightrope is just not a common piece of equipment found in most back yards, unless we consider power lines a tightrope. Unfortunately, I have seen a few squirrels attempt that walk. Another question I liked was "will you walk where there are poisonous snakes?" Could this test see me snuggled up next to my Gabon Viper named Nibbles?  Did they create this question after watching a few episodes of  "Fatal Attractions" on Animal Planet? When are they going to ask about my pet Alvin the alligator I keep in the pool? What kind of question is that? I grew up in podunksville (no offense to anyone who still lives there) but I saw several snakes. I didn't actively seek them out as friends but eh, I'm not afraid to walk around outside-barefoot no less. Does that make me sound like hillbilly? Or better yet, what would one of those tests say about that move?

However, these tests confirm the fact that I am an absolute nerd. I love to play "Jeopardy" so my husband and I registered to take the online version. What if he did well and I choked? That would have been devastating. Wouldn't you know the first handful of questions on the test were about poetry and operas? Where were the questions about sports, geography, and pop culture? Where was the question about naming 3 people Derek Jeter dated or who sang "Mandy"? Couldn't they have thrown a girl a bone and asked me to name the original members of Duran Duran or the capital of New Mexico? This was sabotage (who are the Beastie Boys?) and a heart-breaker (who is Pat Benatar?).  Was Alex Trebeck behind this? He does seem rather smug when someone has an incorrect response. Had the Jeopardy posse' formed an alliance with the personality test peeps in an attempt to break my spirit? If they were gonna break my stride that would be a one hit wonder named Matthew Wilder. Is it completely juvenile of me to admit  that I actually typed in the word "leghumper"  as my response by the time I got to that 3rd opera question? I'm probably blacklisted from future registrations.  I feel like I am making up for the disappointment by typing the majority of this blog in the form of a question.They are so not calling me to audition and I blame an alleged popular opera from 1979 for this fallacy.

However, I wrap this blog up with a shout out to one of my favorite icons- the Cadbury bunny. I salute him/her for the marketing genius behind the mini egg. Hippity hoppity!