My husband has these ideas from time to time which are nothing short of.....horrible. For example, he asked why I didn't take all 3 kids along with our psychotic foster dog to the foster dog adoption event this weekend. This fashion show/adoption event is in a parking lot and my 2 year old is rather quick on his feet. Excellent suggestion! Perhaps we can play red rover across I-285 to kick into high gear? It's bad enough that the foster dog howls incessantly when she goes to these events, so having a wild 2 year old zooming around just doesn't sound like a solid plan. Why didn't he just suggest that we get the kids matching machetes to up the ante in rock, paper, scissors? We could get the carrying cases monogrammed so that everyone can keep an eye on their respective weapon. Instead of making these types of suggestions, I wish he would focus his attention on the laundry basket. Just like a chia pet or an ungroomed Bichon Friese, the contents of said basket continues to grow.
If you have read more this blog before, you know that each blog has at least one to one hundred grammatical or typographical errors. If referring to "The Superficial -Because You're Ugly" or US Weekly is classified as fact checking, I'm on it. But it pains me greatly to see horrific mistakes on a resume'. Mais oui!!! So, last week I was working a job fair. I admit the attendees were an interesting bunch ranging from a guy who had 6 kids with 3 different women he worked with to a guy who claimed his identity was stolen but was in his car. What? Who was in the car? The person who stole it or this mystery identity? Anyway, we all have different capabilities and unfortunately circumstances are not always kind to all. I believe that it takes all types to make the world function, so it's always fascinating to meet people. Even the ones who say they got out of jail last week. And the people who decide it's a good idea to wear a lycra, leopard print dress that is 3 sizes too small with their butt hanging out of the bottom to an interview. Well, at least a professional interview in corporate America. There are some interviews where that would be considered over dressed. Yes, I know Kim Kardashian is running for mayor but it doesn't work outside of Hollyweird.
However, when submitting a resume', I just feel it casts you in a bad light to say you "Mongered in English" from XYZ University. Or the one today from someone applying for a supervisor position that said they "filled odors." What kind of odors? Poop? Sewage? And how are you filling them? Are you consuming a large bowl of beans before filling said "odor"? Where are you putting said odors? Oops, that was gross and I apologize for saying it. Another resume said "Picket up clients to the first echelon." Sounds pretty important but wtf are they saying? Are they building a fence or is this some kind of protest? And taking them to the first echelon sounds weirdly "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," but I didn't see that movie so I could absolutely be incorrect in my thinking.
On a side note, one bonus came out of the job fair. People called afterwards wanting to speak to the "glamorous lady." I had no idea who they were talking about and much to my chagrin it was me. What??? Never have I been called glamorous but perhaps wearing giant sunglasses on top of your head and clothes that cover your butt constitutes sophistication? Maybe I will monger in glamour during this next chapter in my life.
Next up? We will compare the Gen X to the Gen Z....Sounds exciting huh? Stay tuned...
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