Haven't I been the ultimate slacker updating this blog? Can I blame it on the craziness of December and being distracted with other issues in life? Actually, it's my blog and I can blame it on whatever I want. I can blame it on the rain a la Milli Vanilli. Blame it on the stars that shine at night. Whatever you do, don't put the blame on you, blame it on the rain. Exactly.
So my husband asks why I never write about him. Hmmmmmm. Remember, he says this blog isn't funny. But, I will oblige and share a story. I was surveying the pantry to see what would be needed for our annual family Christmas Eve gathering. I picked up a box of triscuits (top open of course) and lo and behold a single triscuit and 2 slithers of a triscuit are left in the open box. Now why does one leave a triscuit and a half? Were you so stuffed after eating the triscuits that you thought a triscuit and a half would be an adequate snack for a visiting squirrel? I couldn't really serve a variety of cheeses and a triscuit at the soiree', because of course no one would want to be the person who ate the triscuit. He also mentioned that I was being a taskmaster because I said people need to throw their trash away and not leave it on the kitchen counter. Hello? It's a slippery slope. Haven't you seen "Hoarders"? First it's a little dust and some boxes stacked up in the garage and then BAM! They are surrounded by 2 years worth of garbage because they were "just too busy" to take the trash outside.
Anyway, I am a bit of a procrastinator when it comes to Christmas. I'm uber impressed with those people that send me holiday cards with photos of the kids in green and red striped outfits. One year, I sent Christmas cards in January. I had every intention of sending them out in December, but no one has ever cooperated and posed for a family photo. No. No. No. I send out WWF (not the wrestling organization) cards. That is when I actually send them out to people. Yes, I have to wrap gifts tomorrow morning before the guests get here (wouldn't want to do that too far in advance). I'm certainly impressed by those people who keep moving that elf thing around the house. The only elf I am familiar with is Buddy, and we have no statue of Will Ferrell in our house. I should be better at these things, but I'm not exactly Martha Stewart, though I loved that poncho she had on when she left the big house! I guess I'm doing okay. Decorations are in the yard, stockings are up, and I stocked up on spirits for the gathering. Doesn't that count as holiday party planning? It's certainly more than I did for Thanksgiving where we make a trek to the Golden Corral to see this much ballyhooed chocolate fountain. The kids were expecting a fountain similar to those at the Bellagio, but it was more like that volcano Peter built on the Brady Bunch. Yes, I give myself a solid B-/C+ for Christmas preparation.
But really, what crazy fool ventures out to the grocery store on December 23rd? Yeah, that would be me. Last year I went on the 24th and I swore I would not do that again. I backed it up an entire day. The store is filled with novices who don't understand that you are supposed to race thru the store at break neck speed and keep it moving. I even took my 6 year old daughter with me who was sporting a Santa hat. She spent a significant amount of time admiring herself in the doors on the frozen food aisles. "I really rock this hat don't I mommy?" was a comment coming from her as she surveyed the frozen broccoli section followed by, "I'm a really cute little Santa's helper." The girl has confidence and that is a good thing. She will need it because society isn't always so kind.
Yes, we will have football food on Christmas Eve and a choice of beverages. The little people will discuss Santa's arrival. It's not fancy or extravagant, but it's sufficient. Many people aren't so fortunate, so I consider myself lucky and grateful. Cheers!
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