Psychic powers and is Barnes & Nobles the new love connector?

Hola! Let's cut to the chase. I give readings. No, I don't claim to be on of Dionne Warwick's psychic friends or Sylvia Browning (although I have had an unfortunate teenage run in with Sun In which gave me Syl's hair color), but I am rather accurate. It sounds crazy, but I have read a great deal about how the mind "knows" the answers, but we block the receptors with junk, like watching "Khloe & Lamar" or "The Real Housewives of .." The worst part of reading cards for someone is that they don't always like the answer. So, people have a tendency to ask questions they already know the answers, but are hoping someone else will tell them something different. Sister Sweet  T will not do that! Nada! This is why therapists and psychics are popular and busy. To quote the Thompson Twins, "Lies, Lies, Lies yeah!" Want to know something? Ask and I won't charge by the minute or tell you that you have a dark spell cast by a former friend that requires several sessions at 3 hundy a pop to remove.

On a different note, I have this friend named John. John is just a wonderful, funny guy and a very devoted dad. John, if you are reading this garbage, please know I adore you as you always make me laugh!! Also, when you are ready to date, I have a surefire strategy we are going to implement that includes your prior work with homeless kids and animals to turn the ladies into a pile of putty. Trust me, every politician will try to steal this platform! John is recently divorced and it has been a challenging situation for him. Lo and behold he called yesterday to tell me he was perusing the self help aisle at Barnes & Nobles (I think they are still in biz) when someone chatted him up and gave him her digits. What??? As another friend would say "Roll up, it's a hold up!" I thought this all happened in the frozen foods section in the grocery store? Years ago, I believed that unfortunate article advising women to search for love among the Lean Cuisines and Hagen Daz. I decided to befriend Hagen Daz and it really liked my butt, but that is another story.  But how do these situations occur? Hypothetically, it could go down something like this....

X-"I see you are reading Martha Stewart's magazine. I like to cook and was in prison for tax evasion."
Y-"Seriously? That's incredible. I haven't paid taxes in years so maybe we should grab a bite to eat sometime."

*****Note to the IRS*****This is a fabricated situation and is for humor purposes only. I love and support you*****************

Anyway, back to John. The ink isn't dry on the divorce decree but it's time to get him a shirt that says, "Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game." However, I did tell him to stay away from college students, psychopaths, people who have been on reality shows,  women who have been married so many times they can't remember the names of all of their ex-husbands, and women who have so much baggage that it's more reminiscent of a 24 piece set of luggage. I consider this sound advice!

Btw, my husband doesn't think my blog is funny. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Football picks up tomorrow..