Tuesday, August 9, 2011

When I was your age and something you didn't know about me

That was a phrase I thought should be outlawed. Really..it sounds so all knowing and yet I have heard myself utter those very words to my own children and to the 18 yr old who used to help with the kids a few hours a day. Did I sound like the ultimate loser when I say that? A prehistoric creature? I felt like the next phrase after "when I was your age", was going to involve walking 8 miles through snow with no shoes even though I grew up in south GA. But let's evaluate situations when this phrase was uttered.

Let's call the babysitter Lena. Lena was like most 18 year old senior's in high school. Sweet, funny, and gave off the sense of entitlement vibe. Each time Lena came over, she had a new tattoo. Fairies behind her ears, ribbons on her feet, angels across her shoulder..you get the picture. Yet, she wondered why she had no money. One day she was discussing getting a tattoo of her boyfriend's face on her stomach. I couldn't resist saying, "Lena, when I was your age I was a sophomore in college and had 2 jobs." Didn't I sound like the ultimate stick in the mud? I continued, "The problem with getting someone's face tattooed on your stomach is that people change. What if your boyfriend grows a beard? Shaves his head? Gains 40 pounds? Will you take a sharpie and draw in a goatee or a beer gut?" I didn't even mention (gulp) the possibility that they could break up.  Would she keep altering the tattoo for the boyfriend du jour? That could get rather costly. She is either a thrill seeker or a glutton for punishment because she now works at an establishment with short shiny orange shorts and  tried to tell me she had never tasted alcohol even though she was attending bar tending school.  I did laugh at her and say, "Rrrrright." Didn't she realize that I know a hangover when I see one? I may be , ahem , older but I'm not an idiot! Her FB profile pic is her in a bra and a plaid skirt...I never even addressed that those photos you post with no security settings can follow you around for years to come..I know, I'm no fun.

Oh and I am going to share something that most of you don't have the privilege of knowing. I have night terrors. Yes, that's right. In the middle of the night I may pick something up and throw it across the room while emitting a blood curdling scream. It's something no one ever really gets used to except for the dog. While everyone else in the house starts screaming and crying at the trauma of being awakened from a dead sleep, the dog doesn't move. I'm just keeping everyone on their toes.


This was a boring post , eh? Better stuff coming....







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