Boot Camp

I have the family in "Extreme Lifestyle Makeover" mode. Don't laugh, if that isn't already a show, it will be one soon....right after the demise of fame monger Kate and her gazillion kids  or the Bachelor, Season 88.

Unfortunately, I have unusual eating habits. I love all vegetables, but I just like interesting combos. Pretzels and frosting are nice together and  I like to think Skittles and Starbursts are fruit. They are colorful and flavorful so they must be full of antioxidants, right? Ha! Oh and I eat standing up or pacing-like a wolf, only with shorter legs. So, I realized I had to set a better example for my kids. More walks, hula hooping, dancing, soccer, and less food for the dog, Atticus. Atticus has totally let himself go, but he can blame the baby. Well, in the spirit of being candid, I needed to step it up a notch. I am typically a zumba/hip hop cardio kind of girl, but I decided I should sign up for boot camp. I mean really! How hard can it be?


When I go to register for boot camp, the lady behind the desk says, "Oh baby. I don't envy the people signing up for boot camp." I haven't confused this with the sign up for the military have I? If so, this would be a bad idea.  I do love that movie, "A Few Good Men", but I didn't see Lt Caffey or Col Markinson, so I felt certain I was in the right place."Really?" I ask. "What is so horrible about the boot camp?' She said, "Baby, I see them at the top of that hill  (shaking head). Lord, I just want to cry. It looks awful and the people throw up." Was this the sales pitch? Tears and vomit? I was waiting for her to tell me people yell that they want their mommy 10 minutes into the workout. Was this the truth, or did she think I couldn't handle the truth? What about a better booty and a stronger core? Or arms like Jessica Biel? Well, we can all dream. She certainly had not attended those Zig Ziglar or Tony Robbins seminars because they usually encourage you to up sell. I said, "Oh it will be fun and good for me." Perhaps that was an embellishment because at that moment I was thinking a trip to DQ would be fun, and laughing so hard I cry is good for me. More than 4 hours of sleep will be good for me. No, I am going to do this and enjoy it. Yes, I am....