The Love Doctor

I am absolutely flattered that anyone reads my blog.  Flattery. I will discuss that in my next post.

Anyway, yes, that title is a reference to me. Now I am not an actual MD, but I consider myself an expert on matters of the heart so that chick Delilah should move over.  I question those people who call into a show to request a Celine Dion song for someone they love. I like hearing people prattle on about their relationships. Why? Well, I am rather accurate in reading people, but I frequently have not heeded my own advice. There. I admit it. .Moving on..

According to studies, the late 30s/early 40s is a common time for divorce. Why ? I'm not sure but I am certain many people are trying to "find themselves" (just put a  bell around your neck like cats do) or they think their spouse has "changed". Translation? They want to see if they can find something better, hotter, richer, etc.  The reality is many people grow apart or are toxic and should move on for their happiness. I am huge believer in doing what makes your happy. But let's address the "changing issue." Years ago I dated someone who lived with a guy we will call Will. Will was a little older and quite the player. He was actually on a talk show for being a womanizer. He had a child with a girl named Katie, who desperately wanted Will to become husband material. She asked me one day if I thought Will had changed.  I kept a good poker face and  decided not to tell her about the girl that climbed out the window as she was knocking on the door for a surprise visit.  I honestly could not keep up with this cornucopia of women Will had. For the record, I never said much to any of them. I would just smile and nod at them, because the next time I saw them they would probably be giggling and climbing down from the  2nd floor balcony or attempting to wedge themselves behind the couch. I merely said to Katie that what I thought was irrelevant and it was what she thought that mattered.  This was probably sound advice because they got married a few months later. However,  I knew wedded bliss was short lived when Will was caught  by Katie's Dad  playing a serious round of tonsil hockey with the lady they hired to play Barney at their daughter's 2nd birthday. Yes, Will was canoodling with the lady while she was wearing the Barney costume (minus the head) and one of attendees alerted the Grandpa  to the antics he witnessed less than 15 feet from the soiree. Katie stuck with him, but soon Will moved from Barney to a nurse. Maybe he had a thing for costumes? You see, Will wasn't going to change and Katie knew that but she didn't want to admit it.

Next,  there's my friend Chris. Chris is probably sitting in a dark room now knocking back a case of Stella listening to an alternating mix of Seether's "Broken" and Hall & Oates, "She's Gone." Chris was married for about 5 years before his wife launched him. When he was telling me why she left, he mentioned  his wife was incredibly high maintenance.  I asked what she was like when they met. He proceeded to tell me she was incredibly high maintenance. So essentially, girl was the exact same. Except she decided to see if she could find someone with a bigger bank account to maintain her. She had not changed. She was just moving on.

It's happened to me too. I was dating Ryan and we parted ways because he was trying to figure himself out. It's not like he was a Rubik's cube. In reality, he was trying to figure out someone named Britney who thought Cirque Du Soleil was a beach and wanted him to go to Cancun with her . That union fizzled and he was calling again, but alas, it was him and not me.

Allegedly, your brain has all of the answers to any questions you have and I believe that. The challenge is that you have to clear your mind of the garbage in order to find out what you want to know. And sometimes people don't like what they hear, see ,or feel in the gut, so they chose to ignore it. Just don't act disappointed or shocked when reality smacks you in the face.