I really need to do a better job updating this blog. I mean, I have millions of fans around the world who hang on every word I say...I kid! Have you ever experienced that awful emotion known as jealousy? The babysitter and her boyfriend are always monitoring each other's talks, texts, etc. Talk about a complete time drain! Granted they are only 18, but I know some adults who incessantly worry about who their SO texts, emails, chats with, etc. People will do what they do. You cannot control what happens. If it is going to happen you can't stop it. Maybe I should get those last 3 sentences on a t-shirt? I suppose jealousy is a perfectly natural emotion but it certainly seems like the ultimate waste of time and energy. However, I admit I have been jealous a few times in my life.
Let's see....Once in 1997 while visiting New Smyrna Beach. I distinctly remember feeling like a bird crapped on my head when I saw my friend Sloane in a bikini. Damn her! I may have been working out, but I felt exactly like Natalie from Facts of Life did when she was standing next to Blair. In addition to being a 15 on a scale from 1-10, she is an exceptional human being with a huge heart. At that time, I made a mental note to have another cocktail or 10 and try to forget/numb the pain that I was on the beach next to perfection. Now, I can just acknowledge that she is gorgeous and wonderful and know that she has a bad hair day every now and then. We all have to console ourselves from time to time.
Oh, and then there was that time we did the Star Wars parade in 4th or 5th grade. You see, I wanted to be Princess Leia because I had long hair, but somehow Laura B. got to be Princess Leia and I had to be the freaky gold creature, C3P0. This was totally and completely unfair because she had short hair. However, this was just one of many life lessons that led me to truly understand that life is not fair. If you are reading Laura you were a fabulous Princess Leia, and the C3P0 costume I was relegated to wearing was exceptionally uncomfortable in the south GA heat and snug in the thighs. I should have just volunteered to be Chewbacca and called it a day. I had the hair for it.
Yes, and I did feel jealousy in college . I had the biggest crush on this guy I will call Cam. And Cam knew I had a ginormous crush on him even thought I thought I hid it well. (We always think we are covert in college when we really were SO obvious.Or maybe I was just obvious) I was absolutely devastated when he was dating Heather, then Debra, then well ...the point is he wasn't dating moi. Really. I was so jealous of Heather with her asymmetrical haircut and her MC Hammer pants. She was too legit to quit. How did she score him?
Now I haven't felt jealousy in years. I occasionally think I should be envious of the super achieving, perfect people but I can't do it. I can't muster the energy. You know exactly who I am referring to- those people who are incredibly talented , brilliant, kind, and gorgeous. They somehow manage to juggle a career at the UN in between developing a vaccine for cancer in their basement while working with homeless. I just acknowledge that they are fantastic human beings because it's just crazy to be jealous. They are wonderful! They are perfect! I am the first person to say how fabulous they are. They pee and breath air just like everyone else...And at least some of them have a zit or a cavity every now and then. I guess that is karma just letting you know there is balance in the world.
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