1.) "You look tired. " I am tired. Are you offering up free botox or juvederm to make me look rested? How about a day at the spa with a massage? Will Sally Hershberger do my hair?
2.) "You should cook more." Contact Mario Batali and his crocs if you want a chef. I do cook. Microwave popcorn has to be cooked to be truly edible and our coffee pot rocks!
3.) "You should rest more." Uh huh. Where is Jack and those magic beans? As soon as that magic fairy comes in to do the laundry, wash the dishes, and mop the floor I will be happy to take that advice. If I take that advice, A&E will be outside the house filming their next reality program.
4.) "Do that later." If you do everything "later", then the "To Do List" becomes a "Wish I Had Time to Do List" or "Must Do List So the Kids Have Pants Without Dirt or Mustard on Them List", or a "I Need A Cocktail Because I Am Overwhelmed and Just Give Up List."
5.) "Are You Expecting?" You better have seen a sonogram picture and even then it's dangerous. What if it is post birth? Just don't say anything to incriminate yourself further. People remember things like this and are less forgiving when you are insinuating they have a fat butt..or belly.
No comments:
Post a Comment