Old versus Really Old...or maybe Prehistoric

Our culture has such an interesting view on aging. Once you hit 30 you are a relic, which is interesting since the life expectancy is increasing. For example, my mom started talking about how "old" she was when she was 38. 30 years later at 68, she says she is really old. So, if she lives to 98 does that equate to ancient? What about living to 100?  In retrospect, Methuselah was a mere toddler at age 100. If you start being "old" at 30, then that essentially means your are old the vast majority of your life. Who makes up this asinine rules? And why do we think certain characteristics make you look "young?'

For example, if plastic surgery makes you feel good, then by all means have at it. Many celebrities and regular peeps take the approach of believing that  fabricating a good story makes it a reality. Yawn. When someone says, "Wow. Your boobs look bigger." One shouldn't say, "Yeah I woke up one day and they were like this." What they neglected to say is that they woke up from the anesthesia and voila-boobage. Or "your face looks younger." "Oh I took a nap and had some green tea." Sure you did...right after the juvederm and botox injections. Listen, if someone ever says to me, "Your nose looks different" you can bet your last dollar I will say, "I finally found a doctor who made me not look like an eagle." Eagles are lovely animals but I don't have feathers. And I would prefer Drew Barrymore's nose.

What is up with our obsession with having giant lips and bad spray tans? Does being day-glo orange make one look young or more like a bottle of Tang? And the people who pump their lips up to take up 2/3rds of their face. I mean, some people actually inject car filler in their lips. Can Valvoline make you look younger? Can't I just color myself with an orange sharpie, insert 2 soccer balls under my shirt, and punch myself in the mouth for the same, albeit cheaper effect?

For the record, I would love to have a few things, ahem, corrected. But I would be honored to tell everyone I paid for and got good work. Mmmmmm.....maybe one day. Or perhaps I will just roll the dice with mother nature and  continue to cover myself in SPF 80.


Until next time.....................:)